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19 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

1. ‘Like a scene from Hot Fuzz’: Police swoop on ‘illegal’ rubber duck race in the Cotswolds

1
gloucesterlive

“Rubber ducky, you’re the one, you make pond crime so much fun…”

2. America Curates The First Official Cheetos Museum

It suddenly makes sense how Donald Trump might become our first President.

3. Bear attacks woman running marathon in New Mexico

1
retrieverman

I’ve been saying it for years, sprinting is a better form of cardio. Happy to see that bears agree.

4. Woman who allegedly stole 95 cents from mall fountain charged, cops say

1
gannett

Oh, I’m so happy that maniac’s off the streets.

5. ‘What is the EU?’ trends on Google in the UK as the country votes for Brexit

WTF is up with the US and the UK?!

6. Man Named Gambles Wins Lottery for Second Time Using Same Numbers

1
nbcchicago

I’m investing in this dude, is that possible? Can he get on the Dow Jones or something?

7. Mom Who Killed Kids in Reincarnation Case Gets Life

1
foxbaltimore

F*ck this b*tch.

8. Ronald McDonald gunned down at Sonic restaurant in NC

1
wncn

That’s what happens when you step on another fast food joint’s turf.

9. In deadly mistake, ankle monitor put on man’s fake leg

Parole Raids
newser

Looks like he got a LEG up over the police!

10. Lindsay Lohan is live-tweeting the EU referendum results

1
getty

Lindsay. Stop. No. Why.

11. Man ticketed again for hiding under cars, touching women’s feet

1
journalstar

Thanks for giving me yet another thing to be paranoid about, internet.

12. ‘Why not Texit?’: Texas nationalists look to the Brexit vote for inspiration

1
alamy

How is this a problem? It’s not like the last time this happened there was a civil war or anything.

13. David Cameron reportedly says ‘Why should I do the hard s**t?’ following Brexit resignation

1
pa

Me as a politician^.

14. Airbnb Hosts Offer “Authentic Refugee Experience” in Greek Tent City


fortune

No thanks, I’ll take the Howard Johnson.

15. Michigan baseball team holds a Bring Your Guns to the Ballpark night

1
news10

What could go wrong?

16. Utah gets first porn-detecting dog

1
steemit

By the time the pup realized people weren’t eating their meat, but beating it, it was too late to back out.

17. Man marries smartphone at Las Vegas chapel

1
kntv

#RelationshipGoals.

18. Glenn Lazarus drives tank over car to highlight poor-quality vehicle imports

1
facebook

Something tells me that this isn’t the best way to test a car’s quality.

19. Wisconsin couple ‘held hostage’ by cat call 911

1
upi

“Listen to my demands right MEOW!”

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