19 People Reveal Their Experiences Hiring An Escort

Most people are sexual beings, and we all get needs from time to time. And thanks for the internet and a little site called Backpage, hiring an escort is pretty easy. Now getting the actual person in the ad is always touch and go. You think you’re calling over a George Clooney looking dude and you end up with George Clooney if he was addicted to meth and ripped all his glorious hair out.

All of the politics of escorts aside (human trafficking is a disgusting business), if you’ve ever thought of hiring a prostitute to help you take care of your urges, you may want to hear these confessions from these people who’ve already enlisted the services of hired help.

  1. I had sex with a prostitute yesterday and it was the best sex I
  2. first time with an escort.. paid up front but was too nervous and couldnt finish... fml
  3. I hired an escort and we had sex. Afterwards she gave me my money back and her phone number, then told me "do me more often, and it
  4. I just had sex with a hooker now I feel really bad :( felt good though :)
  5. I hired a hooker to go out with me for valentine
  6. I paid for time with an escort even though I really can
  7. I slept with a prostitute and Im not sure if I should tell my girlfriend :/
  8. I hired an escort. After we had sex I didn
  9. I slept with a prostitute again today. So disgusting! So disappointing :(
  10. I slept with a prostitute... my wife chose her
  11. I had sex with a hooker then had sex with my best friend after
  12. I once hired an escort only to find out it was a friend of mine. We still had sex.
  13. My first kiss and sex was with an escort. That will be forever in my mind.
  14. Years ago when I was in Amsterdam I paid for a prostitute. I was so creeped out by what I was doing I couldn
  15. I spend a wonderful hour with an escort today. Judge me but it
  16. Last night, I had sex with a prostitute before coming home to my wife. I kissed my wife with the hooker still on my lips.
  17. I hired an escort. I thought I would regret it but I don
  18. I hired a prostitute to have a three way with me and my wife.... on our wedding night.
  19. Just had sex with an escort for the first time. Least erotic orgasms I

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Guy Accidentally Gets Added To Bachelorette Party Group Message And Plans The Entire Thing

Luke Price, a 26-year-old from London, recently got added to a group chat called ‘Nikki’s Hen Party’ after one of the mothers entered in a wrong number.

Instead of letting them know their mistake, he decided to see how much he could get away with while they thought he was ‘Anna the Slamma.’ Anna just wanted to go to the spa and get wasted.

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Luke told Metro that he managed to keep the charade up for two days before one of the girls called his number and heard his voicemail. 

“My intention was to keep going in the hope I could get the ladies something for their hen party. But I’ve messaged the group admin, she was sweet and saw the funny side.”

Looks like Anna the Slamma won’t be able to tag along. 

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5th Grade Girl Wrote A Hilarious Warning Note To A Boy Who Had A Crush On Her

Growing up is amazing. It’s a wonderful time in a person’s life when your mind is opening up and you’re making your transition from childhood to grown-up land. It’s intense, weird, and strangely beautiful.

And one of the best things about being a child is not having a filter — you feel compelled to say and do whatever you need to do in any situation. There’s an honesty in childhood that kind of gets lost on most people when they become adults.

But with that honesty comes a lot of brutal/hilarious situations.

Like this note a 5th grade teacher found one of her students, Zoe, wrote to a boy who likes her, Noah. And it’s a doozy.

It’s amazing to see that a child is capable of so much shade. Here are her full rules below:

  1. Do not touch my shoulder.

  2. Do not get behind me with all that playing + foolishness. (Don’t get behind me at all.)

  3. Do not speak to me unless it is a greeting, which will be never.

  4. Stop playing with me on the bus.

  5. I have a short temper with people and you ruin my day because you play 2 much. 

  6. Reread 500 times 

  7. You like me (as a gf) but I don’t like you (as a bf) I’m 2 young!

If you break any of these rules I’m calling my dad, my mom’s friend, my fake mom, and a janitor I know!

Shade level: infinity.

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23 Culinary Abominations That Need To Stay Off Instagram

Whenever you’re under the influence of alcohol or marijuana, the dumbest, most mundane things all of a sudden become magical. This is especially true of food. McDonald’s suddenly becomes palatable. Regular, broken up Lay’s Potato Chips become tiny pieces of rare filet mignon – everything just tastes so absolutely delicious.

The problem is, being under the influence clouts your judgment. And there’s probably plenty of meals you consumed while you were drunk or high that would absolutely horrify you if you were sober.

And these are some of those unappetizing meals.

  1. The world’s saddest chicken and waffles.

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  2. This “lovely” hot dog and french fry and egg platter.

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  3. I am become death, destroyer of worlds.

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  4. This sad, deflated Burger King meal.

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  5. Cinnamon toast crunch is great, but not when you add marshmallow charms.

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  6. This just makes me mad and also wanna barf.

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  7. Literally just ramen with a slice of American Cheese.

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  8. This mom’s attempt at a fun/terrifying dish.

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  9. Ramen noodles, sour cream, leftover carnitas.

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  10. This sad attempt at a Mexican-style dish…with a blueberry bagel on the side.

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  11. This bacon and mayonnaise sandwich.

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  12. This attempt at fancy looking cuisine.

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  13. These Doritos someone took a dump of condiments on.

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  14. Quite possibly the saddest breakfast in the world.

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  15. Would you like some burger with your onion?

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  16. Leftover Thai jammed into plain toast.

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  17. Dry ass chicken sandwich with some stupid pasta.

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  18. Literally just cheese and salsa.

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  19. Vomitey-looking leftover meatballs on toast and American cheese.

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  20. This billion calorie abomination.

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  21. Leftover spaghetti and tortilla chips.

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  22. Cringe-inducing 9/15 cake.

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  23. Stuffing mixture-topped toast. And Ketchup.

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You Can Wear A Swan Around Your Neck With These Stunning Soft Felt Scarves

I’m a sucker for a good fashion trend, especially one that looks like it was crafted by a Fairy Godmother.

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Designer sisters Celina and Maja Debowska crafted these gorgeous felt swan scarves and started selling them on their Etsy shop, Celapiu.

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They were inspired by the swan dresses Björk wore to the Oscars and on her Vespertine tour.

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And although these elegant felt scarves could be paired with evening gowns, they’re the perfectly cute accessory to liven up a casual outfit too.

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The best part? Each of these beautiful pieces are made entirely by hand out of raw materials.

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The attention to detail is astounding as well.

The design’s a throwback to the glamorous furs women wore during the 1920’s, without all the messy animal cruelty business.

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Celina says that her style is “Playful, out of context, conceptual…I play with styles, shuffle between cartoon kitsch and urban deconstruction.”

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That sounds like something right off of Project Runway, but fancy fashion language aside, these are some pretty damn awesome scarvey-poos.

And if swans aren’t your thing, then Celapiu offers a few other cool pieces featuring different animals. Like foxes.

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Owls.

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And Deer.

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Oh my.

If you’re interested in any of these scarves you can check out their Etsy shop. Just don’t please tell my wife about the owl scarf.

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Archaeologists Just Unearthed A Skeleton Mosaic Telling People To 'Enjoy Your Life'

Hey, you wanna see the chillest skeleton of all time just kicking back and relaxing?

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That’s what archaeologists just dug up when they were excavating a site on the Turkish-Syrian border. The mosaic dates back 2,400 years, but if the inscription on this picture of our laid-back, boney bro proves anything, it’s that human beings haven’t changed.

Because it translates to “Be cheerful, enjoy your life”. The artwork was discovered in what is believed to be the affluent Greek-Roman city of Antiocheia.


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In the photo there’s two other figures, one, dark-skinned, and unfortunately eroded by time. The other, white and rocking a toga, reaching for a crescent.

Demet Kara, an archaeologist who helped discover the amazing mosaic, said in an interview with the Hurriyet Daily News said that the three figures represent what upper-echelon Roman peeps valued above all: bathing and eating.

“In the middle scene, there is a sundial and a young clothed man running towards it with a bare-headed butler behind. The sundial is between 9pm and 10pm – 9pm is the bath time in the Roman period. He has to arrive at supper at 10pm. Unless he can, it is not well received. There is writing on the scene that reads he is late for supper and writing about time on the other.

In the last scene, there is a reckless skeleton with a drinking pot in his hand along with bread and a wine pot. The writing on it reads ‘Be cheerful and live your life.'”

It turns out that long before we were using skeletons as memes, the ancient Romans were too – they thought skellies were hilarious.


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Like this booze-loving skeleton with two jugs of wine who’s ready to party to death.

Or this skeleton laying down next to his scythe seductively with the phrase, “Know thy self” inscribed beneath him.


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All right, that seems a little more creepy than anything, but seriously, that sexy skeleton pose is kinda hilarious in a macabre way.

Kara says she’s still studying the site’s findings with her team but that they’ll be publishing their findings soon. Hopefully it’ll be an awesome collection of ancient party examples. Oh, and more skeleton memes. (h/t sciencealert)

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The 2016 Rio Paralympics Feature Medals That 'Rattle' When Shaken

With news of the four Paralympic athletes that outpaced the Rio Olympics’ 1500m winner making waves, people replayed the race online and noticed something strange on the podium; after receiving their medals, the athletes would all shake them a few times.

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The reason is an incredibly thoughtful one. While medals at the Paralympics always had braille on them, this year all 2,642 medals come with a new feature; they rattle when shaken. 

Each medal was designed with a metal ring inside, and a varying number of magnetic spheres within the ring itself. The gold, silver, and bronze medals each have a unique sound by design.

In the gold medal, the loudest of the three, there are 28 of those magnetically charged spheres inside. The silver medal comes with 20 spheres sealed within it for a rattle that isn’t as loud as the gold medal’s, and the bronze is the quietest of the three thanks to its 16 magnetically charged spheres inside.

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Each medal also features a pebble design going across the front symbolizing seeds that represent the courage, persistence, and development of the athletes. The 2016 Paralympics will end on Sunday, September 18th. Now when you see podium medals smile after giving their medals a little shake, you’ll know why, and it’ll make the scene that much more awesome.

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These Slippers Made From Goat Hair Are The Hottest New Trend And They Only Cost $1,800

Some people have more money than sense. Just look at the people willing to pay Apple $ 159 for their new wireless headphones that will go missing within 10 minutes of use.

If you’ve ever bought anything from Gucci, you know just how expensive they are too. And now, they’re trying to get people to pay $ 1,800 for these slippers than can only be compared to Donald Trump’s hair.

The worst thing? They’re actually sold out. 

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The Net-A-Porter describes these monstrosities as “one of the most talked-about designs from Alessandro Michele’s debut runway collection.” And suggests that you “wear them with floaty skirts and dresses, or keep it casual in jeans.”

Users on social media had a different interpretation, making the obvious comparisons. 

Others were just too shocked to believe that these were even a thing.

Fashion has offically gone too far, i’m calling it.

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This Is Worse Than Any Pimple Popping Video You've Ever Seen Before

Welcome. If you’re reading this right now, then you’ve also spent hours upon hours on YouTube looking at everything from cyst and blackhead extractions to human bot fly and tapeworm removals. And you like it. I’m glad that’s the case.

You see, this video is pretty special. I’ve seen plenty of cyst extractions that have emptied out a peanut butter jar’s worth of hard pus and keratin from a person’s back. I’ve also seen people coat their mirrors in a layer of greasy discharge from a neck, jaw, or forehead pimple. It was always pretty neat to watch.

This one however, is a game changer. Suddenly, the violator is in a person’s mouth. He can feel it. He can taste it. Brandon wrote on Reddit that his tongue was in pain for a few days, and after finding the lump and seeing pus/mucus ooze out, he went to the dentist who ultimately told him that his salivary gland had a blockage and a salivary stone was forming.

When it was ripe for the picking, he did us a favor and recorded the removal for us to see. He pushes his tongue to the roof of his mouth and exerts some pressure. This is the result: 

Gross.

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Steve Harvey Meets Contestant That Looks Exactly Like Him On Family Feud

Steve Harvey and Family Feud were a match made in heaven. His reactions were so great that people began uploading them to the net before Family Feud decided to start uploading clips themselves and prompted those that have never bothered with the show to scroll through footage for hours at a time.

His reactions to the over the top answers some contestants give him are really what everyone looks forward to.  With each new episode that airs, you can see his faith in mankind diminish more and more, along with his will to continue hosting the show.

On a recent episode that aired, something interesting happened; one of the contestants shared an uncanny resemblance to the host, all the way down to his signature mustache and inquiring facial expression.  

The guest insisted that he should be compensated to some degree for constantly being mistaken for Steve Harvey, who countered by pointing out one very important difference between the two.  Take a look:

(h/t ew)

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