These Stories Of Horrible Roommates Offer Some Red Flags To Look For Before Signing A Lease

Roommates. When moving somewhere, having one is taken into consideration for no reason other than to increase our quality of life. The average American spends roughly one-quarter of their paycheck on rent and utilities, and having that extra 12.5% of your income freed up by splitting the month to month costs of simply existing with someone seems like a no-brainer. That is, of course, until you hear the nightmare stories people have about roommates.

Thankfully I’ve had a pretty positive experience with all of my roommates in college, but not everyone I knew was lucky. The worst I’ve experienced was having a suitemate that you could smell through the walls. As bad as that was, I wasn’t the one that had to live with him, and my roommate and I were treated to several late night rants by his roommate and some very high-end air fresheners in our shared bathroom that said roommate also purchased as a form of mercy for us and anyone that visited the suite.

Others weren’t so lucky. Perpetual house guests, bad hygiene, fighting, late with rent, and letting filth pile up were among the dozens of nightmare stories I’ve heard from friends on the topic. 

User ShallowTits on Reddit asked the community, “What are ‘red flags’ for roommates?” If you’re planning on sharing a place with one anytime soon, you’re definitely going to want to add these to your list.

  1. The number one offender that all refuse to deal with is the Kidult

    Mom moves him in while he watches. Mom sets his room up while he stares into his phone. Mom shops grocery andcooks it for him while he complains he’s hungry. Mom fills the fridge with pre-cooked meals while he eats. Mom cleans up everything and leaves.

    Congratulations! Now you’re his mom.

    juicius

    This is my most hated kind of person. Unfortunately it usually ends up being men. My #1 red flag for male roommatesAND potential boyfriends is if they are going from their mommy to me. Because inevitably you become their new mommy which is fun in exactly zero ways.

    Then there’s the problem of learned helplessness. You’ll ask them to do X, Y or Z chore and they go “oh I don’t know how” or they’ll give a half hearted attempt to prove to you that they can’t do it, so that you’ll have to from now on, etc.

    I WILL NOT DO IT. I was not born with the ability to cook, clean or organize. I had to learn it on my own, and so do YOU.

    blahblahblah539771

    This. I had to teach my boyfriend, who is 4 years older than me, how to cook for himself, do dishes, clean, etc. when we first lived together (with other people) towards the beginning of our relationship a few years back. I love him to death, and he’s a lot better at domestic things now, thank goodness. But 25 years as an only child getting doted on by his mom really did a number on him. Gotta nip that nonsense in the bud early.

    deesta

  2. Several Take The Opinion Of Their Favorite Roommate Into Consideration

    If your cat loves them more than it loves you.

    Sir_Jorbxnor

    No one will believe this, and it will get buried, but I want to share, so fuck it.

    My dog tried to warn us about my best friend’s ex.

    She was sitting on our couch (in my wife’s normal spot), and we were all talking in the living room. My chihuahua is the most meek, timid, antisocial dog I’ve ever had. She runs if the wind blows too hard. Well this timid dog, in the middle of all of us, ran up to the ex, jumped on her lap, and took a huge shit. Then jumped off and ran. It happened so fast that I assumed her asshole must have had road rash. Everyone just stared in amazement for half a second, before said ex flipped her lid.

    Fast forward six months, ex turned out to be a heroin addict that took my buddy for everything he had that wasn’t nailed down. Thanks, dog, you tried to give us a heads up.

    pissclamato

  3. Of course you get the stray case that makes you wonder if you can scrimp enough change to not need a roommate

    Writes their name on their food in the fridge, and eats your food because you didn’t write your name on yours.

    yellowbythedozen

    This made me laugh. Has this actually happened to you?! (Not at university yet)

    enomancr

    Yeah this actually happened. Years ago, a co-worker was looking to move out of his parents house, and around the same time my GF and I were looking on moving in together. He talked us into renting a house so he could move in with us, which ended up being the start of a series of mistakes that would play out over the course of our one year lease.

    We each bought our own groceries, and we never took anything from him intentionally (might have used margarine he purchased for toast a few times if we were out of butter at best), but because of this he would write his name in permanent marker on everything he’d purchase, including each individual cheese slice in a pack. One day I had picked up a couple of steaks for the GF and I for a special dinner I was planning, and when I went to make them, there was only one left in the fridge.

    Turns out because I didn’t write our name on them, they was considered “free game”.

    yellowbythedozen

  4. One user tried to have others learn from his mistakes

    Oh, man. I have a couple, all gained from painful experience:

    • If someone, before they live with you, constantly comments on how clean your/someone’s place is, when in reality it’s just normal and not that clean at all, take this as a sign that you have very different standards of cleanliness.

    • A little more personal, but- if the person has a history of many friendships lasting less than one year (without excuses like moving or switching jobs), or seems to have a long trail of people that they no longer speak to (orall their old friends are described as crazy psychos), or seems like the greatest person in the world but inexplicably has no friends whatsoever.

    • If someone tells you who they are, listen. For example, when my old roommate said casually in conversation, “Yeah, my mom and my sisters don’t think that I’m capable of feeling empathy, like I’m a sociopath. They used to say that a lot.” The same roommate also once told me that she’s never felt guilt before, and didn’t know what it felt like (she’s almost 30). She also had a restraining order served on her a couple days after she moved in.RED FLAGS.

    • If friends of your potential roommate come to you and ask you if you’ve really thought this through, and mention that maybe you don’t know this person as well as you think you do, listen to those people.

    • If you’ve noticed that this person doesn’t seem to respect the property or personal space of others.

    Those are the biggest ones I’ve experienced.

    Eshlau

  5. And this one is a lesson for the post-college crowd

    In my experience, if you live with a stranger, than sometimes there’s a mutual understanding to be on good behavior. You may never be close, but it may not be an awful situation, either. Sometimes it doesn’t work this way, but in my experience it does a surprising amount of time.

    If you live with a friends, expect every one of their flaws to go up by a multiple of at least 5x. They always are down to drink? Guess what, your house is going to be a party house. Is their car a mess? Guess what, your house is going to be a disaster? Is their homework always late? Don’t be surprised if the rent is late, too.

    And with family, make that 10 – 20x. I knew a guy who always on the lazier side that moved in with his cousin. He then proceeded to stop paying rent and looking for a job. Be very cautious moving in with family.

    HarrysonTubman

  6. This one starts as general advice and gets more specific as it goes.

    Kind of too late to call, but if there’s a fight on move-in day, the whole thing is going to be a fight.

    Also, if one person tries to impose a cleaning schedule or rotation. These things are always doomed for disaster I find, because then there’s documented blame to go around if one person slacks off, even if it’s for a good reason (overloaded with school work, extreme bout of sickness, works 12 hours/day, etc.).

    Finally, if she disappears for four hours and returns bragging about spending $ 200 on professionally done glue-on nails one day, then has her grandparents over the next day bringing food because she’s broke, she has absolutely no understanding of time or money and will not be able to empathise with you when you say you can’t afford the $ 10 it costs to buy a pack of toilet paper because your part-time Wal-Mart job barely covers your share of the rent and your bus pass. She will also eat your food despite labelling and try to flush hard stalks of celery down the toilet.

    Anna_Draconis

  7. Then there’s the in house social aspect of living with someone. Make it clear ahead of time if you’re looking for extended family or just someone to pay the rent on time.

    Drinking habits are a big one. If you have a roommate who’s alright sober but always a problem drunk, consider having to deal with that every time. I’ve had roomates who were great except their drinking was too much.

    Another is expectations. My old roommate thought we’d be that household that goes out every weekend and has grill nights. I just wanted someone to pay rent. While it didn’t cause major problems with me, our third roommate was roped in a lot of social events he didn’t like and caused a great deal of tension

    Lennsik

  8. One user was clearly more experienced than the rest and gave the most in depth advice in the thread

    Having had several roommates, in various housing situations (house, apt, dorms, single-roomie, multiple housemates), my advice would be:

    • At same job for 18 months or more preferably: This helps show financial stability and so you are less likely to get stuck paying extra shares of rent.

    • A reliable vehicle: You don’t have to help them get around.

    • Reasonably clean vehicle: How they keep their car is in my experience a good indicator of how they will keep their personal area.

    • Do you know them already?: Think of the thing that you dislike most about them. That thing they do, that even if they’ve been your best friend for 10 years, still makes your jaw clench. Can you live with that as a daily occurrence?

    • You will likely conflict over washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, and groceries/food. Do you have any idea how they handle themselves on these things?

    • Would you be okay spending time with someone who matters to you while this person is physically present? I’ve had roomies who interrupt 1-on-1 conversations to put in their thoughts, have horrible odor that permeated the apartment due to only showering once every couple days, and listen to their music loud enough that it interferes with other housemates media usage or family/friend visits.

    • Do they have a shitty significant other that you’re aware of? You’ll have an extremely high chance of also being exposed to that person’s crap also like extra bathroom mess, bottles of stuff in the shower, their clothing sitting around or ending up in your washing machine (assume you’re rooming in a house), cigarette butts if they smoke, sex objects, and so on.

    I’ve had my share of horrible roomies who stunk, left messes, had a live-in partner try to piggy back off of their share of rent, disrespected my family, and straight up opt’d not to pay rent thinking I’d be stuck paying for us both. Hopefully any of this helps someone avoid the same.

    RONINY0JIMBO

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This Kitty Collar Blouse Is The Clothing Item Cat Lovers Will Want Right Meow

Alright, so you love your cat. No, but I mean, you really love your cat. People just don’t understand the lengths to which you’ll go for your furry friend and how you obsess over them and dress them up in outfits and carry them around your shoulder.

It’s borderline obsessive and your cat probably doesn’t care as much about you as you do them, but that’s OK. Your love knows no bounds. You know that it’s much better to give than to receive.

Which is why you want to keep your cat with you everywhere you go. Maybe even drape them around your neck and let them basically live on top of you. Unfortunately, most indoor places of business don’t take too kindly to you bringing animals indoors. Plus, cats aren’t exactly the most walk-friendly pets out there.

However, you’re in luck. There’s a way to keep a cat with you at all times, and the answer lies with this cute blouse.

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The Kitty Collar blouse, sold through Store Envy, will let you be a crazy cat lady wherever you may go.

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With the added bonus of actually wearing something totally cute, instead of a pee-soaked bathrobe.

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The best part is that this simple, catacular design will only cost you $ 19. That’s like, two trips to Starbucks.

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It comes in S, M, L, and XL, and there are detailed measurements on the website, so you should check them out before you buy.

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Because the only thing worse than not having a kitten collar shirt is having one that doesn’t fit you.

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This Grocery Store Trolled A Woman After She Went On A Hilarious Rant About Vegan Cheese

In case you haven’t seen the YouTube videos of their meltdowns, here’s an important fact to remember: vegans don’t eat cheese. So, in order to accommodate a variety of diets, the UK-based supermarket chain Sainsbury’s began carrying a line of coconut milk-based vegan cheese. 

It sounds a little gross, but no big deal, right? WRONG. 

One woman was NOT about to be duped by manipulative marketing techniques calling vegan cheese “cheese,” so she took to the chain’s Facebook page to speak her mind. 

Get ready:

CHEESE.

If you’re going to be a vegan don’t call your vegan cheese BECAUSE IT’S NOT CHEESE!!!!! As a real cheese fan myself it’s really annoyed me that Sainsbury’s have brought out a “Vegan Cheese” made with COCONUTS. CHEESE IS NOT MADE WITH COCONUTS. Call it Gary or something don’t call it Cheese because IT’S NOT CHEESE!!!!!! Just to recap, in case you have forgotten — cheese is a delicious food made mostly from the milk of cows but also other animals including sheep, goats, buffalo, reindeer, camels and yaks. Around 4000 years ago people have started to breed animals and process their milk. That’s when the cheese was born. So Sainburys can F off. Go enjoy your cheese less life. Don’t try to make up a substitute cheese and call it cheese because it’s not and you’ve decided your way of life. It’s ridiculous that they’ve used the word cheese!!! Don’t come to my Cheese and Wine Parties if you’re going to eat COCONUT CHEESE. (If you’re allergic to cheese I feel for you) If you’re a Vegan because you’ve chosen to be and not that you’re allergic I’m not interested in your views about vegan cheese or that ‘eating products from animals is bad.’

TBH, we sort of agree a little because NOTHING RUINS WINE AND CHEESE PARTIES LIKE VEGANS WITH THEIR FAKE COCONUT CHEESE. Cheese which we will now refer to only as “Gary or something.”

Attention all vegans: go enjoy your cheeseless life. You and your substitutes are dead to us. Your beliefs are invalid and no one likes you

Sainsbury’s, our new favorite UK-based supermarket chain, decided to take their dissatisfied customer’s concerns seriously and announced their new line of Gary. 

Quality customer service is not dead. 

Now the whole Gary thing is catching on everywhere… Because vegans, despite being no fun at wine and cheese parties, actually have a sense of humor. 

So, we hope everyone will oblige and accept the name change. Besides, “cheese” was sooo 2015. 

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Twitter Is Taking Us Back to 1995 When Trump Last Paid Taxes And It's Hilarious

After intense speculation about Republican presidential nominee and champion of women (jk) Donald Trump’s financial history, the New York Times released several pages of his 1995 tax returns. According to the Times, Trump lost $ 916 million in income that year, meaning he’d be able to take advantage of a rule allowing him to “cancel out an equivalent amount of taxable income over an 18-year period.” 

…So, yes, it’s possible that Donald Trump has not paid taxes since 1995. Since this revelation struck the Internet on Saturday, the hashtag #LastTimeTrumpPaidTaxes has been circulating on Twitter, taking us on a trip down memory lane to that glorious year. 

 

Let’s just say the technology situation back then was a little different. 

Ahh memories. 

Never forget. 

It feels like a lifetime ago. 

We would hardly recognize the entertainment world in an age of tax-paying Trump. 

TBH, we’d forgotten that there was a time when we couldn’t watch these stunners’ every move on TV. 

Was there any point to the music industry back when Trump paid taxes? 

…On, right, There definitely was. 

Actually, back when he paid taxes, Trump was entering a very suitable side gig in entertainment. 

And MTV was in its glory days. What a time. 

It really has been a long time, hasn’t it? 

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19 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

1. Man impersonating officer busted for attempting to pull over unmarked cruiser


sinclair

God I wish I was there to witness that.

2. Ex-Power Rangers actor Ricardo Medina has pleaded not guilty to murdering his roommate with a sword


bbc

Zordon told him to do it.

3. NBC cancels its mail-order bride sitcom less than 72 hours after announcing it


nbc

Maybe turning human trafficking into a situational comedy wasn’t the best of ideas, the network shortly realized.

4. 102-year-old St. Louis woman checks ‘arrest’ off bucket list


tribfox

“Thanks for holding my hand, officer, but, f*ck the police…sorry, had to cross that off the bucket list too.”

5. Egyptian MP demands women undergo virginity tests before being admitted to university


getty

Actual quote from the guy proposing the bill: “No one should be upset by this decision. If you’re upset then that means you’re scared that your daughter is in an ‘urfi’ marriage behind your back.”

6. This man went insane to prove every Adam Sandler movie is connected


independent

Like I’d understand if you did this for Scorcese or Tarantino’s films, but freaking Adam Sandler?

7. To get yogurt, kids at daycare had to play ‘smack for a snack’


mcclatchy

Who let a bunch of cafeteria bullies open a daycare?

8. Barrie hospital patients angered by funeral home ads on parking gates


the star

“You need to pre-emptively meet the needs of the customer, Jim.”

9. United Airlines passenger told to switch seats as Pakistani man ‘did not want to sit next to woman’


independent

Would’ve been great the passenger he switched seats with said, “Oh, I’m sorry, my religion doesn’t allow me to sit next to Pakistanis.”

10. Concrete truck falls into sinkhole while filling other hole in road


wwltv

Of course it did.

11. Condom deserves a place in space says sexuality education association

Come on man, even aliens probably hate condoms.

12. Polk County man arrested for having milk crate


fox57

“I told you boy, this was a lactose free town!”

13. Man Shot 6 Times on Shotwell Street


sfexaminer

“Son, did you not see the sign?”

14. Donald Trump has some Latinos so unnerved, they’re turning to the supernatural for help


twitter

It’s probably what the next paranormal activity movie’s going to be about.

15. Duke Offers Men A ‘Safe Space’ To Contemplate Their ‘Toxic Masculinity’


fox

I want to go there and act like I’m a huge Britney Spears fan. “I just can’t get enough of that song. I know it’s been years since its debut, but…”

16. Iraq MP: Ancient Sumerians travelled space and discovered Pluto


alaraby

Yeah well I drew a picture of me in space eating a donut, doesn’t mean I went to a Krispy Kreme on mars.

17. Minority students wear KKK costumes to school


abclocal

“At least this way we won’t get shot.”

18. New Web Series Follows ‘Queer Ghost Hunters’ in Ohio


nbc

Producer: (hits blunt) “I just wanna hear someone with a lisp say “Ghosts” over and over again!”

2nd producer: “You know not all gay people have lisps, right?”

Producer: “Well that’s why we having a casting office, Brian.”

19. Pittsburgh man faces penalty if he can’t catch loud rooster

Record scratch, freeze frame. “You’re probably wondering how I got myself into this mess.”

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Which Job Would You Get After Graduating From Hogwarts?

Sure, we spent most of our childhoods (and all of our adult lives) wishing and waiting, hoping that our Hogwarts letters would arrive in the mail. And some of us even wondered about what houses we’d be sorted into (luckily, Pottermore cleared that up for us eventually). But beyond that, we didn’t think too much about the logistics of our potential wizarding lives. 

Hogwarts sounds amazing, when you’re not in mortal danger, but graduation and adulthood descend upon wizards as well. What would we do? Sadly, wizards still work 9-to-5 jobs, it seems.

So, time to find out what our dose of “real life” after graduation would have been like in a fictional world:  

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17 Dastardly Confessions From Taco Bell Employees That Ruin It For Everyone

Taco Bell. You either love it, or you’re wrong. No other chain in the history of chains has ever been able to feed you well when you were down to your last three dollars on a Thursday night when you were hungry, dare I say starving, and your direct deposit wouldn’t hit for another 7 hours on Friday morning. Do you know what you get from Chipotle for $ 3? Chips and Salsa or a fountain drink.

Now before you read these, please keep in mind that anything negative is due to Taco Bell’s good natured attitude towards humanity being taken advantage of by someone undeserving, and anything good is due to Taco Bell’s ability to bring out the best version of a person.

While I may be slightly biased in my views of the restaurant itself, we can all appreciate these confessions for what they are; funny, infuriating, weird, and one that’s actually kind of sweet.

  • 5 second rule

  • Served with a side of pettiness

  • Noble, but secret’s out now

  • Persistence is a good thing to have in that industry

  • The strategic burning of bridges, I see

  • Who knows how many lives this person has saved

  • That isn’t the Taco Bell way

  • Might have to get the NSA to trace this one

  • Wait until you work a sales job

  • They should pay a fine for such heresy

  • I don’t speak Spanish and even I can pronounce ‘Crunchwrap Supreme’ fluently

  • It gets more complicated than hard or soft shell?

  • You’re just a terrible human being

  • You’ll be the first of us to turn into a zombie

  • Does that mean they’re better?

  • I know people that eat mustard packets while they run. Same thing I guess.

  • I hope you hooked him up with a double order for the trouble.

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