These Two Cousins Have Exchanged The Same Birthday Card For Forty-Seven Years

In a world where birthday wishes are delivered via a Facebook post of an embarrassing photo from childhood, it’s hard to remember a time when actual paper cards were exchanged. Indeed, whimsical greetings were written by hand and exchanged without a reminder from the Internet (side note: does anyone remember the last time they licked an envelope?)

Well, as it turns out, not everyone has adopted the impersonal, 21st-century approach to birthday greetings. Two family members are giving us serious #FriendshipGoals with their shared birthday card. Redditor LincolnsLostSpeech uploaded a picture of the card which belongs to his fiancée’s uncle and his cousin.

The two have exchanged the same birthday card for FORTY-SEVEN years. It was purchased for twenty-five cents back in the day. 

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Typically, re-gifting is considered rude, but it’s pretty cool when it happens ninety-four times. And hey, the card said so. It’s in surprisingly good condition too— we would definitely have spilled a birthday cocktail on it by now.  

Could this family be any cuter?

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Well done, Bill and Steve. 

The Internet can’t get enough of the cuteness. 

The picture of the card has been viewed nearly two million times in just two days.

It even brought back some nostalgia for a Redditor with a similar experience. 

…Anyone else suddenly in the mood to start cute family traditions? We’re having some major feels. 

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Demi Lovato And Joe Jonas Recreated Their ‘Gotta Find You’ Duet From Camp Rock

Disney fans that were in Future Now’s Washington, DC stop on Tuesday night were in for quite the treat when Joe Jonas walked onstage to join Demi Lovato and his brother Nick.

Fans started cheering within the first few strums as he took them eight years back by singing “Gotta Find You” from Disney’s hit TV Movie Camp Rock.

Demi followed up by performing the movie’s female protagonist Mitchie Torres’s “This Is Me” while Nick accompanied her on guitar.

Fans had a blast.  Demi and Joe even hugged it out before Joe said, “Now that we did all the sentimental bullshit, let’s have some fun,” and went right into DNCE’s “Cake By The Ocean.”

Here’s a closer look at the trip back in time from another fan:

This was the movie that launched their careers 8 years ago, and they’ve shown fans that despite all their success, they haven’t forgotten their roots.

(h/t mtv)

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This Mother And Fitness Model Wants Women To Focus On Their Bodies Instead Of Their Scales

Diet shakes, fat burners, green tea extract, body wraps, crash diets, liposuction, and gastric bypass.  If you’ve ever contemplated dropping a few (or more) pounds, you’ll have come across a number of those options, either by reading articles on how to ‘tone up’ or through ads that would start pelting them your way after you’ve searched google twice for a diet plan.

For as long as I can remember, women around me, regardless of age, ethnicity, or cultural background, were obsessed with losing enough weight to hit a specific number.

I recall my mother and her friends exchanging tapes with one another, have seen people go to homeopathic doctors and come back with overpriced generic supplements, and have read article after article of people opting to go on extreme crash diets for month to reach that oh so very special number, be it the incredibly flawed BMI scale that’s seen posted on the walls of every school gym or in pursuit of a dress size that’s also regularly a hot button issue in society today.


According to this I’m roughly the height of a redwood

I didn’t learn about body composition until I started participating in competitive strength sports in my late 20s, which was also (coincidentally) the same time I actually started getting healthy.  I can write a separate article on men if there’s demand for it, but the social pressures nowadays really don’t target us.  No, those crosshairs are always their way, it’s people like Kelsey Wells that are going to help change that.

Wells came out of her pregnancy 25 pounds heavier than she did when going in. She decided to get back in shape 8 weeks post partum, picking a training program that appealed to her and went to work.

The photos show her at her starting weight, 8 weeks post-partum, the lowest weight she reached after 8 weeks on the program, and the last one has her looking much healthier months later and near her initial starting weight.

The Bikini Body Guide (BBG) program she was following recommended that people using it take full body photos along the way and not just base progress on the readout from their scale.

I weighed 130 before getting pregnant, so based on nothing besides my own warped perception, I decided my ‘goal weight’ should be 122 and to fit into my skinniest jeans. Well after a few months of BBG and breastfeeding, I HIT IT and I fit into those size 0 jeans. Well guess what? I HAVE GAINED 18 POUNDS SINCE THEN. EIGHT FREAKING TEEN…

I have never had more muscle and less body fat than I do now. I have never been healthier than I am now. I have never been more comfortable in my own skin than I am now.

Wells went into detail in her post, saying that had she kept to tracking progress through the scale only, she would’ve given up, decorating the caption with a catchy #screwthescale hashtag that caught on rather quickly.

Yesterday she appeared as a fitness model on Cosmo, a move which may have prompted her to show the behind the scenes work that went into securing that photoshoot.

The big takeaway that Wells was pushing for was for people to not attach their self-worth and progress to a number on a scale.  

The fixation has led to a $ 62 Billion supplement industry and $ 58 Billion (2014 figures) weight loss industry, which includes the assorted diet drinks you see decorating the shelves in your local Walmart.

Have an opinion on the topic, or would you like to see something else written about it?  Leave a comment under the article and I’ll drop by.

(h/t elitedaily)

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Woman Roasts Ex On Craigslist In Ad For Blender She Received While Breaking Up

Chances are, if you live in Brooklyn and were looking for a decent blender on the cheap this morning, you may have stumbled upon one of the best ads you’ve ever seen for a kitchen appliance in your life.

The ad, cleverly titled, “Wanna put my tender heart in a blender” after a lyric in an Eve 6 song that was popular when I was in high school, was easy to scroll past, but the thumbnail was bound to catch a few eyes.

The ad starts off with some advice for blender shoppers

Never date a corporate lawyer. Here’s how it goes. You match him on Tinder and give him a chance even though he ghosted you after one date.

You never get an explanation for this beyond “I was looking for something specific,” which sounds like another lawyer or some Woody Allenesque waif-bot, but most Brooklyn dudes want that, so fuck it. He has nice hair. He apologizes, claims to hate True Detective, and laughs at all your jokes.

The story goes on as you would expect.  Her (now ex) boyfriend, who she met on Tinder and figured was “not like other corporate lawyers,” was a great guy when they first started going out.  

He was happy, she was happy, and she felt the butterflies in her stomach that she has seen animated all throughout her life for the very first time.

Classic love story, meet classic speed bump:

One night you watch a movie about the futility of monogamy, and he freaks out. He’s scared of commitment. The guy who committed to 80-hour work weeks for nebulous reasons is scared of commitment. The guy who asked to meet your family after you said it would be okay to wait, because commitment can be scary, is now scared of commitment.

We’ve got a commitaphobe on our hands.  She actually already introduced him to her family at his own request, and this ends up marking the beginning of the seller falling out of love.

She spends a weekend with him and his “successful friends,” and seeing the seller having difficulty socializing with them:

This is when he decides you’re incompatible.

He comes over in a panic. He’s sad because “we used to be so happy.” He sees you “in a negative way” now. He sometimes even doubts you’re attractive.

Because lawyers think it’s important to present all sides of reality. To acknowledge how illusory everything is, even human connection. A corporate lawyer can predict the future from a mile up his own asshole.

At this point, the relationship is taking its final breaths, but the ex-boyfriend doesn’t want to be the one to put the pillow over its head.

He clearly wants to break up, but makes you do it. It’s the day after your birthday. A few days later, this Vitamix arrives at your door. Either he wants you back, or he does not understand the human species.

What?

He does not understand the human species. Who buys someone they’re dumping a Vitamix? He wants to be the hero of this story: “I got this girl an epic birthday gift and then we broke up.” He wants me to remember him fondly. I can’t abide it. I had fleeting Hollywood fantasies about smashing it in the street, but that’s for waif-bots.

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I’m not gonna ruin a perfectly good blender. Yet, sitting on my microwave, it looks exactly like the Wappen & Kladden building. I am afraid of it. Please help me.

It’s a certified reconditioned 5200 series. It comes in the box with a 5-year warranty and a recipe book. I am also available for dates.

Without a doubt, this is the first time most of us (I don’t want to assume all) have ever heard of a break-up blender.  The drama attached to it may be a bit much for some households, but it would make a perfect kitchen utensil for the aspiring Kardashian in your life.

As of this writing, the blender is still for sale and the seller is still single.  You can try your luck with either by contacting her through the Craigslist ad.

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The Season 6 'Game Of Thrones' Blooper Reel Is Here To Keep You Sane Until Next Summer

As it turns out, there’s more to San Diego Comic Con than updates on the complex and intertwined worlds of Marvel comics. It’s also the place to be for bonus material from pretty much any T.V. show you’re binging. At this year’s convention, the powers that be released a Season Six ‘Game Of Thrones’ blooper reel— and it’s everything we hoped for and more. 

TBH, there’s nothing more fun than watching actors break character… And watching Peter Dinklage wage a war on the English language.  

We have Peter Dinklage struggling to say the word “benevolent.”

…Some unintended indecent exposure…

The ‘unintended’ part being very rare for this show.

…More of Peter Dinklage trying to say “benevolent…”

…Prop malfunctions…

…And, again, Peter Dinklage epically failing to say the word “benevolent.”

Personal favorite: some priceless footage of Dinklage finding out that he has to say the word again in another scene. 

Watch all the magic below. 

This is definitely just as good as the show. We thank the ~benevolent~ HBO people for bestowing upon us this gem. 

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Researchers Directly Link All Levels Of Alcohol Consumption To 7 Types Of Cancer

Experts at the University of Otago just announced that they’re in the running to be the biggest buzzkills on the planet.

In a recent study, they’ve discovered that even one glass of alcohol can directly lead to mouth and throat, larynx, esophagus, liver, colon, bowel and breast cancers.

Unhappy Middle Aged Woman in the Kitchen Drinking Wine

And here I thought 7 was a lucky number.

Jennie Conner, an epidemiologist and author of the commentary on the study, said that with respect to cancer, there is no safe level of boozing, and any purported health benefits peddled by marketers are “seen increasingly as irrelevant in comparison to the increase in risk of a range of cancers.”

The World Cancer Research Fund’s Susannah Brown said, “This review is solid evidence to conclude that alcohol consumption directly causes cancer.”

Research shows that out of 200 women who do not drink, 109 will develop breast cancer.  The number rises to 126 for women that consume 14 servings per week and skyrockets to 153 out of 200 for those that consume between 14 and 35 servings.

The study was published in the medical journal Addiction, and links alcohol consumption to half a million deaths per year, roughly 5.8% of all deaths caused by cancer.

You can read the published study right here.

Will this news change the way you consume alcohol at all?

(h/t time)

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18 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. In these cases, it totally isn’t.

1. Tall Man Accused of Driving While Standing Through Sunroof

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It’s like a bad joke come to life.

2. Verizon will cut off unlimited data users who use too much unlimited data

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This is why I’ll never go to a Verizon-owned all you can eat buffet.

3. Beware of seagulls tripping on acid from flying ants

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I have so many questions but the most important is where I can find these acid ants.

4. CrimeStoppers joins search for giant missing duck in N.J.

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Now that’s what I call a ducking mystery.

5. Tattooist jailed after drawing penis and swear word on woman’s back, instead of Yin Yang symbol

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This is why you don’t get your tattoo from a ninth grade boy on the football team.

6. Colorado man lassoes, wrestles bear with Cheese Balls jug stuck on its head

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You don’t f*ck with a man’s cheese balls, bear or not.

7. Places you shouldn’t play Pok​émon Go: during a government briefing on Isis

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But what if there’s a legendary?!

8. Man Overdoses Twice in One Night: Police

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Say what you want, but I want to party with this guy.

9. Japanese company offers ‘armpit fan’ to fight summer heat

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Not all heroes wear capes.

10. Man is convicted of plotting to kill a judge with a wood chipper in a case resembling ‘Fargo’

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At least he’s a creative attempted murderer.

11. Scientists looking for invisible dark matter can’t find any

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“Guys, I think we’re going about this all wrong.”

12. Isis terror threat forces Michael Caine to change name to Michael Caine

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It’s because his real name is Maurice Joseph Micklewhite, so he just changed it to his stage name. Guess ISIS isn’t a fan of Get Carter.

13. Man cooking urine causes evacuation at North Amherst apartment complex

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If I was the officer assigned to that case I would have so many questions.

14. Cleveland Police: Protester Lights Himself On Fire While Trying To Burn American Flag

Protestors Rally Outside Republican National Convention In Cleveland
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These colors don’t run…and they’ll burn your ass.

15. Nice Attack: Has a Bisexual Muslim Hustler Put France on the Path to Civil War?

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I guarantee this is the first time this sentence has ever been written.

16. School bans clapping and allows students ‘silent cheers’ or air punching but only when teachers agree

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What. The. Hell.

17. Charges: South Jordan man opens fire on man who said he liked his hat

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“How dare you compliment me!”

18. Pastor arrested for breaking into rival church.

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This HIV-Infected Man Is Paid $7 To Have Sex With School Children

In remote areas of Malawi, it’s traditional for girls to be made to have sex with a paid sex worker known as a “hyena” as soon as they reach puberty. Village elders believe the act is a form of “ritual cleansing,” but the BBC recently interviewed one “hyena” who is HIV positive and has had sex with hundreds of girls.

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Eric Aniva, who is in his 40s, is a sex worker in the Nsanje district of southern Malawi. He was described as “enthusiastic for media attention,” and he told the BBC:

“Most of those I have slept with are girls, school-going girls.”

“Some girls are just 12 or 13 years old, but I prefer them older. All these girls find pleasure in having me as their hyena. They actually are proud and tell other people that this man is a real man, he knows how to please a woman.”

But girls in a nearby local village told a different story:

“There was nothing else I could have done. I had to do it for the sake of my parents,” one girl told the BBC. “If I’d refused, my family members could be attacked with diseases – even death – so I was scared.”

Locals consider the “cleansing” necessary in order to “avoid infection with their parents or the rest of the community.” Sex with the hyena must never be protected with the use of condoms. They believe that a hyena’s good morals will protect their daughters from being infected. 

In actuality, it’s led to Malawi having one of the highest rates of HIV in the world, with more than 1 million living with the disease.

While officials know the rituals need changing, they stop short of condemning it. Dr May Shaba, permanent secretary of the Ministry of Gender and Welfare, said:

‘We are not going to condemn these people. But we are going to give them information that they need to change their rituals.’

One of Aniva’s two wives, Fanny, told the BBC that she does not want the ritual to happen to her daughter: 

“I don’t want that to happen,” she says. “I want this tradition to end. We are forced to sleep with the hyenas. It’s not out of our choice and that I think is so sad for us as women.”

“You hated it when it happened to you?” the interviewer asked.

“I still hate it right up until now.”

“Not my daughter. I cannot allow this. Now I am fighting for the end of this malpractice.”

“So, you’re fighting against it, but you are still doing it yourself?” asked the BBC. 

“No, as I said, I’m stopping now.”

“Really?”

“For sure. For real, I’m stopping.”

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Celine Dion's Rihanna Impression Is The Greatest Thing To Happen This Week

While we thought our shameless love for Celine Dion couldn’t grow any more, she proves how flawless she truly is. Sure, she’s sustained a successful music career for over thirty years. But she also handled a tragic year with the utmost grace. She lost her husband of twenty-one years, René Angélil, and her brother, Daniel, just two days later.

Despite all the hardship, she’s continued to work enthusiastically and received the Billboard Icon Award at this year’s Billboard Music Awards. 

Simply put, the woman is legendary.

Her appearance of Jimmy Fallon last night was nothing short of incredible. The two played an epic game of “Wheel Of Musical Impressions.”

Because who doesn’t want to hear celebrities impersonate one another singing childhood songs? Previously, Celine herself was imitated by Ariana Grande on the show. 

At First, Celine seemed pretty nervous about the game, but, of course, she dominated and it’s entertaining AF. She channeled her inner Cher, Sia, and Michael Jackson. But her ultimate performance was a rendition of “Row, Row, Row You Boat” as Rihanna. Spoiler alert: it’s to the tune of “Work” and it’s awkward and entrancing.

Here’s a little sneak peak of Celine getting pretty into it. 

…Those moves. Even Jimmy was concerned. 

You can watch the hilarious clip below. 

The Rihanna magic begins at 2:36. You’re welcome. 

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