Some Nerd Got Fouled so Hard in a Game of Basketball, He Actually Called the Cops

Some Nerd Got Fouled so Hard in a Game of Basketball, He Actually Called the Cops

There have been a lot of petty people in the news recently calling the cops on folks for doing the most frivolous of things.

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It seems like there’s a never-ending list of nonsensical reasons people are using as an excuse to call the popo.

But this one definitely has to be one of the nerdiest—because the amount of self-delusion you must live with, along with the gallons of pride you have to swallow in order to carry this out, is purely unfathomable.

A man actually called the cops because he felt he was fouled too hard in a game of basketball.

Yes. The grown man, who can be seen in the black clothes talking to the police above, is trying to explain, with a straight face, that the good-faith rules of the game were violated so harshly that law enforcement needed to be called. That, and the fact that the tax dollars spent on cops’ time, should be devoted to hearing his grievances.

The look on the man’s face in blue pretty much sums it all up.

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Twitter user @_togs relayed the events that led up to this ridiculous moment.

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It all started with a game of basketball. A hard pick (defensive move) sends the man to the floor. It happens all the time, it’s part of the game. You get back up, and if you feel like it was a dirty foul, you speak up about it.

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This guy, however, got up and threatened to call the cops. Which everyone else probably thought was a joke.

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Until they realized that no, this man is actually that petty.

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The man with the sleeves was the individual who set up the screen that sent the dude in black to the floor.

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When the cops did arrive and address the mess they were presented with, they were clearly not happy to be there.

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They left without taking any action against anybody (I wonder why) and nothing was resolved. Except for the fact that everyone knows to never play basketball with this dude ever again. God forbid you don’t let him score on you and you’ll have the cops running over to the gym.

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The worst part is that the foul wasn’t even that bad. Screens are screens—if you bump into someone, you will fall down.

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People began noticing similarities between his expression and the expressions of other famed petty cop callers.

Someone even captured video of the incident, so you can see the lameness in all its petty glory.

Unbelievable.

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Couple Discovers 'Electrical Box' In Backyard Was Actually A Safe Filled With Treasure

Couple Discovers 'Electrical Box' In Backyard Was Actually A Safe Filled With Treasure

If you grew up on cheesy action-adventure movies like me that are set in the early 20s or 30s, then you probably are wary of ancient treasures and the inevitable curses they’ll bring upon you.

I know it seems like an irrational fear, but the idea that my greed and desire for a “shortcut” to fame and fortune resulting in an eventual and horrible curse is something I worry about a little too much, seeing as they’re not real (probably). So the idea of grave/tomb robbing isn’t something I’m into, because I don’t want a visit from any supernatural creatures chasing me to the ends of the earth.

But ancient artifacts is where I draw the line. If I find an old-timey safe or something that’s existed in the last couple of centuries and it’s filled with modern day cash and goods, you best believe I’m going to take that stuff with a clear conscience or fear of repercussion.

Which is why I can’t understand, for the life of me, why this couple would do what they did when they discovered a rusty safe behind some trees in their backyard. A safe that they thought for the longest time was just an electrical box. It wasn’t.

This gross-looking box was on their property. This gross looking box contained $ 52,000 in cash, gold, and diamonds. This gross looking box could been their next decadent vacation. A double-or-nothing “bet on black” single game of roulette. A brand new supercharged Audi. A  $ 52K bitcoin investment.

And Matthew and Maria Colonna Emanuel decided they couldn’t keep it. They could’ve said, “Finders keepers.” They could’ve easily kept the money and all of the belongings. But there’s a reason they didn’t.

It’s because the couple are decent people. In addition to all of the discovered loot, these two State Island folks found a sheet of paper.

On that paper, was an address.

Because they have a conscience or whatever, they knew that they needed to contact the person whose name was on the address and as it turns out, that person was their neighbor.

So they knocked on their door and asked if they’d ever been burglarized. Turns out that they were and the police reports from 2011 prove it.

So the couple let their neighbor know that they had their safe without hesitation, which of course, people admired. Because it’s very easy to talk yourself into keeping it in that situation, think of all the excuses?

They probably got insurance to cover it.

or:

This is fate, the universe is looking out for me.

or the most compelling:

Finder’s keepers, b****es.

People on Twitter not only commended the couple for their honesty…

…but they also had a bunch of questions for whoever stole the safe.

Like, if they were planning on going back and getting the safe after stealing it, why didn’t they ever go back and pick it up? Why would they leave it so close to the crime scene?

And then a bunch of other people basically told the same joke.

The story also inspired some hopeful treasure hunters to grab a shovel and go to work in their own backyards.

And others lamenting their own misfortune.

Honestly, as sad as it sounds, I know plenty of people who happened upon $ 52,000 randomly just means they’ll be in less debt than they were before. #StudentLoanLife.

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Woman Says She'll Send Any Man’s Unsolicited D*ck Pic To Their Mom, And A Guy Actually Challenged Her

Woman Says She’ll Send Any Man’s Unsolicited D*ck Pic To Their Mom, And A Guy Actually Challenged Her

Madi Kohn is a 20 year old student at Arizona State University and is really over getting unsolicited d*ck pics from guys online. Like, really over it. She’s so over it that her Tinder profile includes a warning that if she gets one, she will pass it along to the dude’s mother. 

Madi is not playing, you guys.

Like lots of other young women, Madi has her Tinder account linked to her Instagram, and, unfortunately, she’s kind of come to regret that decision. Having the two profiles linked creates a sort of loophole in the Tinder process. Whereas normally on Tinder people can’t message you unless you’ve matched with them, linking your Instagram account allows people you didn’t actually match with to still message you. 

That’s where Ryan comes in. 

He didn’t match with Madi on Tinder, but he began sending her “kind of creepy and kind of gross and annoying things” via Instagram. The messages, which Madi initially ignored, culminated in — you guessed it — an unsolicited d*ck pic. At six in the morning. Seriously. who sends d*ck pics at six in the morning?!? LET THE GIRL SLEEP! 

Madi was both tired and unimpressed.

So Madi did what she said she would. She did some digging through his profile, found the guy’s Facebook, where he had family members linked, and forwarded the pictures along to his mother. 

Madi is a woman of her word, y’all.

In the message, Madi wrote: “Hi, I see that your son is Ryan (redacted). I have never talked to him or met him, but he has sent me this picture through Instagram after discovering my profile. Can you please tell him not to send unsolicited pictures to women? I did not ask for it.”

Mom replied, apologizing in both English and Spanish, and saying she would have a talk with her son. The guy changed his Instagram name and username shortly after and has not contacted Madi since. But that’s not where the story ends. 

When Buzzfeed reached out to Ryan for his side of the story, he complained that he felt violated and that Madi couldn’t prove it was him who sent the pictures anyway. Evidently, he’s very concerned about matters of consent.

I will say this. If that was ‘me’ what she did was illegal. You can’t share those types of ‘private’ pics without consent. I am not sure if you are aware of that. My mom, my sister, other family members, my friends – no one cared.”

He then went on to talk about possibly pressing charges, but how he’d be willing to skip that if Madi leaves him and his family alone.

When Twitter caught wind of that aspect of the story, they went IN.

The “Shaggy Defense” didn’t hold up long this time.

We want to know what his friends and other family members have to do with this. Madi only sent the picture to his mother. Did he decide to hold an entire friends and family meeting and show them all? 

So confusing.

Not everyone thinks Madi did the right thing. While most of the women cheered her response, some of the men just didn’t seem to get it or understand just how often it happens. 

“It happened once, and I just ignored it.”

Michael took issue with what Madi was wearing in one of her images. We were going to describe it, but IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT A PERSON IS WEARING, THEY ARE NOT ASKING FOR IT UNLESS THEY LITERALLY ASK FOR IT. Sorry, caps got stuck there… 

Anyway, here’s Michael’s take on the issue.

Steven is just sitting here lamenting the greatness of our nation. 

And we’re kind of like “same.”

So once again, gentlemen, please remember d*ck pics are fine as long as you have the okay to send. Just ask, and if the answer is “no,” it’s “NO.” That’s it. 

Got it? Good.

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13 Airline Meals You'll Actually Look Forward To Eating

If you’ve ever flown for more than two hours by airplane and were subject to an entree that was more military ration than home-cooked meal, then you too understand why the $ 6 slice of cheese pizza sold out of a kiosk prior to boarding your flight may not be a bad deal after all.

Part of it is the difference in air pressure. Once we start gaining altitude, our olfactory senses are the first to go, and our tastebuds with them. The combination of cool, dry air in the cabin and the lower air pressure essentially numb our taste buds, and cause us to experience the exact same meal that could be quite tasty on the ground in a less than ideal manner.

Pay enough for your plane ticket however, and the chefs in charge of keeping you satiated a few dozen thousand feet off the ground will adjust their recipe to compensate for your lack of taste.

Call me when Taco Bell decides to open up shop in the sky.

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Donald Trump Has A Panic Attack When He Realizes He's Actually President On SNL

The nation’s still in protest and shock over Donald Trump’s Presidential win. People expected the disdain for his victory to settle down after a few weeks but it seems that people’s concerns are growing more and more with each cabinet choice the president-elect’s administration makes.

And as his time in office draws closer a reality is setting in: Trump has made a lot of huge campaign promises, many of them that he’s already going back on. There are a lot of people, both Democrat and Republican, who aren’t quick to let him forget those promises.

SNL hasn’t forgotten either, and used some of Trump’s biggest campaign platforms in last night’s hilarious cold open. And Trump was absolutely freaking out once he realized he had to put his money where his mouth is.

I’m scared/excited to see how this Presidency turns out.

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