Paris Hilton Asked People To Tell Her Something She Doesn't Know And Twitter Obliged

Paris Hilton Asked People To Tell Her Something She Doesn't Know And Twitter Obliged

The art of being famous simply for just trying to become famous isn’t anything new.

And while the Kardashians have perfected the art of being well-known for basically nothing, if you remember the early-2000s, the days of T-Mobile Sidekicks and bedazzled-everything. The days when Lil’ Jon ruled the airwaves, you might remember a socialite and daughter of hotel tycoon Paris Hilton.

The OG-famous for being famous’ sake girl. And by OG I literally mean OG, she basically provided a blueprint for Kim on how to climb the fame ladder.

Kim was once friends with Paris, and before she was the champion pioneer of thrusting her family into reality fame, she was organizing Hilton’s closet and stepping out of the way of photos so other people could snap pictures with the tall socialite.

Their careers took similar trajectories – both women shot to fame after leaked sex tapes of theirs hit the market, the Kardashians took the scandal and ran with it. And while the K’s family drama is pretty much the only celeb-trash-gossip that continues to go strong, year after year, Paris’ career has comparatively stepped out the reality TV limelight and is pursuing a diverse number of other business opportunities.

She also tweets thought-provoking questions like this:

Now that could’ve been an innocent and appropriate caption for a part sassy/all glamorous photo she posted on Twitter. But people took her question to heart and truly went out of their way to tell Hilton something she probably didn’t know.

What started as a joke soon became a laundry list of obscure and interesting facts. Like, did you know that “Chef” is an incomplete title?

You might’ve forgotten this gem from geometry class.

Things got into the scientifically dense real quick, too. Fascinating nonetheless, however.

I’m going to pretend like I know what this guy is talking about right now.

Now I WISH I picked up on this before, are you serious? One, three, five, seven, nine…my God…

I knew there was a reason I inherently loved sloths. Do they not poot because they’re that lazy? That’d be amazing.

Grammatical and linguistic rulings were also being served up.

More obvious jokes began rolling in, but they were true none the less.

Check out this bit of cosmic knowledge right here. White night sky, baby.

Oh, did you want a lesson in some obscure geometry? Well then you’ve come to the right place.

Some of the facts hit a bit closer to home, however. Like this photo of Jesse Heiman and Paris.

How great would it be if Paris has that photo printed somewhere on an office desk and Jesse assumed she forgot they ever took it?

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify

This Guy Got Asked Out On A Date By A Wrong Number And It Escalated Quickly

There is a certain kind of guy who will immediately text the woman he is interested in a dick pic, and you can usually identify him because he opens the conversation with *creepy asterisks*

If you’ve never seen or encountered this style of text, it’s sort of like role playing. The speaker says everything they’re doing in asterisks, and they type out a lot of stuttering. It’s believed to have carried over from anime films, where stuttering is supposed to denote shyness or chivalry—but it basically never translates. It’s a huge red flag.

This is the story of a creepy asterisk guy named Brandon, who started one of these exact conversations with the girl he was crushing on. Except it was a wrong number. He was actually texting with a guy, Reddit user Th3GreenMan56. Thankfully, Th3GreenMan56 shared the whole conversation with us. And if you feel sorry for Brandon, remember he sent a dick pic.

You can see below that Brandon tries to be cute, but also refuses to believe he isn’t texting his fantasy girl, and also that she’d be thrilled to know what’s in his pants. Even if he wasn’t actually texting Th3GreenMan56, he’d be wrong!

image
image
image
image
image

Yes.

Everyone’s favorite part of this conversation is Brandon’s weird sad no at the end.

Captain_Jaxen wrote, “The ‘no’ actually made me laugh quite a bit, like how much denial can you even have?”

Flamingo_of_lies said, “I love the denial sprinkled through the post the masses of excuses that must have ran through his head and when eventually faced with having to accept all his mistakes all he can force is a single meek broken ‘no.'”

Then there’s this chain:

image

There were also a lot of questions about dick pics. Look, it’s 2018, I don’t know if we still need to keep discussing the psychology of the unsolicited dick pic. Clearly, the people who send them without asking do not care at all that the receivers don’t want them.

But folks still have questions!

“Could someone explain where this idea of showing your dick is somehow supposed to get you girls? You wouldn’t do it in real life so why pretend to be doing it all?” asked thelaughingmansghost, eventually editing to add,”Please stop replying to this comment, I’ve gotten more than enough answers.”

Here are a few of them:

Though some said they’d never understand it, even though they have a dick.

It’s too bad that our mustachioed hero had to deal with this unsolicited dick pic, but he was really taking one for the team.

Thank you to him, and also to Shannon, who did some quick thinking when she gave Brandon the wrong number. That’s a friend.

Love when girls support other girls!

But also, if you won’t ask someone for their number directly, you don’t deserve it.

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify

This Woman Asked Her Boyfriend For A Paper Clip And Got A Lesson On Gender

Look, people are different, and there’s no need to make generalizations based on gender. But sometimes it’s fun to.

Like in this tweet about how men caption Instagram posts obscenely, while women seem to actually want to keep their partners:

Or this one, about how men are physically and psychically unprepared to pick out a simple pair of leggings:

But this tweet from Twitter user @CiaraTobin may be the simplest iteration of the genre ever. She shared text messages with her boyfriend Riley, in which she asks for a paper clip and ends up discovering more than she wants to know about his organizational habits:

I’m gonna be honest, this isn’t that far off from how I store my office supplies, but I still find Tobin’s loving exasperation with her man very funny.

And everyone else finds it extremely relatable, because they’ve lived it (both men and women):

At least one other person had a similar story saved and ready to go:

Wherever you are on the gender spectrum, you know if this is you.

Now, where are my paper clips?

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify

This Boy Was Worried His Friend At School Was Hungry So He Asked His Mom To Pack An Extra Lunch

In an era where we’re inundated with negative headlines, it’s no surprise that optimism about the future isn’t at an all time high.

We’re cynical and jaded. Simply put, it’s easy to forget that there’s still some good out there.

But, as we learned from one recent heart-warming story, It turns out there’s even some good in MIDDLE SCHOOLERS… And we’d completely written them off as hormonal little sociopaths. 

Think again!

At the beginning of her son Dylan’s school year, volleyball coach Josette Duran uploaded the following picture to Facebook: 

“Dylan explained there was a boy who sits by himself and eats only a fruit cup,” the mom from Albuquerque, New Mexico, told Us Magazine. “He said he didn’t think the friend had enough money to buy lunch.”

After that conversation, 14-year-old Dylan brought two lunches to school each day. “It just became normal,” Duran said. 

Later, Duran learned the child’s mother had lost her job and struggled to pay for lunches — a problem Duran herself understands. It was only a few years ago that she and Dylan were homeless and struggling to eat. 

“We were living out of my car, hotels and on friends’ couches,” she said. She refused to let the boy’s mother reimburse her for the lunches. 

This week, Duran and her son are receiving more national attention after she did an interview with local news outlet KCCI. It has since gone viral on Facebook. 

She even worked with the volleyball team she coaches to raise $ 200 for the school cafeteria to ensure that no child goes hungry during the day. 

“We paid up all the past due accounts for all the kids that need lunch,” she said. “So now no one in that school owes any lunch money to anybody and everyone can eat.”

The video has been viewed 15 million times and received thousands of comments…. Mostly about how people’s faith in humanity is somewhat restored.

Duran, thankful for the outpouring of love and support, posted this video in response. 

And, she’s still humbled by the whole thing. Lesson of the day: let’s live our lives more like Duran and her son, Dylan. 

Turns out we have a lot to learn from 14-year-olds. (h/t us magazine)

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify