Dad Has Bathroom Emergency and His 4-Year-Old Becomes His Toilet Cheerleader

When nature calls, all must answer. Even if you’re at a gas station. Even if you’re at a gas station with a child in tow. Even if it’s going to be incredibly embarrassing — it will still be less embarrassing than ruining your pants in aisle four.

Blogger Clint Edwards writes about being a dad and a husband. He’s also now known as a guy who writes about bowel movements, because his hilarious post about getting caught in a difficult situation has gone extremely viral.

Clint posts most of his family trials and tribulations to Facebook; he presented an opened packet of diarrhea medicine as proof of this escapade, and this story that will make you drink a bottle of Imodium before every family outing.

image

We stopped at a gas station in nowhere Oregon, two hours into a 12 hour road trip to a family funeral, when the diarrhea struck. My wife and two older kids were in the van, while I was inside looking for cornflakes with my 4yo.

image

We b-lined into the restroom, making it just in time. I had no choice but to take my 4yo into the stall with me. Aspen watched as I struggled, Moana light-up crocs on the wrong feet, blue eyes wide and supportive, hands clapping. “Good job, Daddy! Good job! You make two poops! Now three poops! I’m four!”  

“Yucky, Daddy. It’s stinky.”  

I’m not sure what happened exactly, if I’d eaten something wrong, or if it was the stress of traveling with kids, but what I do know is that my 4yo daughter is the Richard Simmons of pooping. I’ve never felt so supported in anything in my whole life. 

image

She commented on the size, smell, and sound. “Wow!” She said. She commented on my work ethic. “You’re trying so hard!” At one point I had to actually push her face away from the business end of things as she clapped and cried “You’re doing it, Daddy! You’re doing it!”  

She’s potty trained, sure. But she’s also easily distracted, and prone to potty accidents. I suppose she’s gotten used to the positive reinforcement Mel and I give her each time she goes. And when I’m cheering her on in our family restroom, it seems normal, even appropriate. 

But when the roles are reversed, it’s just, well, awkward. Particularly in a public restroom where the man in the stall next to me was obviously holding back tears of laughter. Laughter that busted loose when she called me a “pooping-farting robot.”  

image

Naturally it all passed, and as I buckled Aspen into the car seat, a small package of anti-diarrhea pills held in my mouth, Mel asked what took so long, and I rolled my eyes and mumbled, “You don’t want to know.”  

It was then that Aspen was kind enough to recount the story to her mother, clapping the whole time. I sat in the driver’s seat. Mel patted my leg, “Nice work, Daddy.”  

All I could do was say, “Thank you.”

Well, we now know way more about Edwards than we wanted to know, but it’s still a great story. Who doesn’t love a kid encouraging their parents to be the best they can be?

And it turns out almost every parent everywhere has a public restroom story to share, so get the popcorn if you can stand to eat while reading these:

image
image
image
image
image
image
image
image

All the diaper changing, potty training, and accident clean ups are worth it for the day when your kid is all grown up and able to finally embarrass you while you’re on the toilet.

That’s what being a parent is all about.

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify

As Twitter Becomes Obsessed With Meghan Markle's 'Suitability,' J.K. Rowling Shuts It All Down

As the news of Prince Harry’s engagement to actress and entrepreneur Meghan Markle has spread, so have discussions about Markle’s “suitability” as a partner for Harry.

While most agree the entire conversation is distasteful and only Harry can decide who is or is not suitable for him, that didn’t stop conservative British newspaper The Spectator from weighing in on Twitter.

For those not in-the-know, “CofE” is short for the Church of England and, according to tradition, the reigning monarch of England is also the head of the Church. In this case, of course, that would be Harry’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth.

But the notion that Markle is somehow “unsuitable” because she has been divorced struck people as a bit off, especially considering the history of the Church of England itself.

I mean…

History buffs weren’t the only ones with questions…

Even J.K. Rowling got in on the discussion, shuttingThe Spectator‘s assertion down with a single hashtag:

And Twitter was so here for it…

We wish Meghan and Harry all the best in their union!

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

home – Channel RSS

Chill Hippo Calmly Walks Out Of Zoo's Front Gates, Becomes Internet Hero

A hippo living at Israel’s Central Safari Zoo strolled out the front gate like a boss and it’s sublime:

Maybe the grass is not always greener on the other side? Or maybe there’s no place like home?

Either way, this hippo is an internet darling:

We assume no animals were harmed while making this short film.

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

home – Channel RSS

Kid Becomes Internet Hero Because Of How He Reacted To Mike Pence Elbowing Him In The Face

Kid Becomes Internet Hero Because Of How He Reacted To Mike Pence Elbowing Him In The Face

The vice president was hosting military families for National Military Spouse Appreciation Day on Tuesday at the White House.

While thanking the kids for showing up to the event, he accidentally smacked one in the face:

While most kids, and adults for that matter, would have just let the incident go, this brave soul did not.

He was due an apology from Pence, and he wasn’t going to stop until he got one.

The Huffington Post edited together a video of the boy’s persistent request, and it is kind of adorable:

Twitter was quick to praise the kid for seeking out the apology he deserved:

And while we’re happy for the kid, we can’t help but wonder when OUR apology is coming:

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

home – Channel RSS