Woman Wants Parents To Ask Their Babies For 'Consent' Before Changing Diapers

Woman Wants Parents To Ask Their Babies For 'Consent' Before Changing Diapers

I remember being five years old and hate, hate, hating having to hang my coat up in the closet. I screamed to my mother one day that if I ever had kids of my own, after the millionth time she bothered me about hanging my coat up, that I would never ever ask my kids to clean up after themselves because it was the absolute worst and in no way fun.

I eventually came around because mom and dad were the boss of me and although I still lazily throw my clothes on the floor, more often than not I get embarrassed enough to not want to live like a slob and put them where they belong.

But my own childhood words are biting me in the butt right about now because my son also loves causing a mess. His idea of “playing” with blocks is to dump them all over the floor, kick them around for no longer than six seconds, then resume stomping around my apartment, pretending to be a T-Rex.

My toddler is just a giant bag of enthusiasm and stubbornness and I’m constantly trying to work to reroute that stubbornness into non-garbage social behavior. Yes he cries, yes he throws tantrums, yes he wants to have chocolate and gummy bears (which he refers to as “purple snacks,” regardless of their color) before he’s had an actual meal, but I don’t relent.

Now I don’t claim to be an expert on parenting, and I guess we’ll have to wait a couple of decades to see how my toddler and new baby daughter eventually turn out. But I have to admit I scoffed to myself and shook my head after I saw this headline where sexual consent expert, Deanna Carson, said that parents should ‘ask’ their baby’s permission before changing their diaper.

There’s an obvious joke to be made about this and it’s that babies can’t really understand a gosh darn word you say or really signal whether they approve of something or not. If they did, my daughter would answer with a cooing, “I AM” every time I ask with sugar in my voice who the cutest baby is.

But after the hullabaloo of that ridiculous headline died down, Caron’s “real” point was made and on the surface, it seems like a totally reasonable one: to train children from a young age about the importance of consent.

Waiting for their response is supposed to instill a sense in the child that their response is an important one and is supposed to give them a greater autonomy over their bodies when they’re older.

Now there are a lot of people who think that sounds good. Heck, even I did for a second.

I don’t ask my son if he wants to go to the bathroom, I pick him up and take him to the toilet and try to make going number 1 or number 2 into a fun game. There are some days he would fight me tooth and nail begging to get off the toilet, kicking and screaming. Then, five minutes later, he pees his pants. Whenever I asked him, previously, if he had to pee, he’d say no, then come rushing to me minutes later saying, “pee pee, pee pee” with already wet underpants.

My 1-month-old infant cries hysterically when there’s poop in her diaper, signaling to me that something is wrong. I put her on her changing table and then start singing our family’s, “let’s change the stinky diapey” song, removing her stanky clothes and poo-soaked diaper. She hates that just as much and starts wailing. So if I asked her consent before removing her diaper and she disapproves of it and I do it anyway, aren’t I just teaching her that no matter what she says or does, her consent ultimately doesn’t matter, and with someone who loves her unequivocally? 

You can’t let most adults do whatever they want, let alone give children a “say” in what they want to do. My son will eat bananas, grape tomatoes, and Maria cookies all day if I asked him what he wanted to eat. He’d sit in front of an iPad for hours. Oftentimes, he doesn’t even know what he wants. For two weeks he begged me everyday to go to the zoo. The day I hyped him up to go, he was ecstatic, then, at the last minute, he said, “No ZOO!” and then threw himself on the floor like a big drama queen.

30 minutes later, when we were at the park walking around, and he saw the animals and other kids playing, he was an overjoyed little nugget. I mean I can’t count the number of times I did something as an adult that I thought I didn’t want to do that ended up being awesome.

So she might be coming from a totally good place, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not a completely idiotic idea. There are better ways to teach children about consent. And I can tell you that my toddler already has a strong sense of personal autonomy. Just watch him wriggle away from random kids at the park who want to hug him or push off of relatives who give overbearing smooches – he’s got autonomy to spare.

And I’d wager plenty of other kids do as well. What do you think?

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Guy Texts His Girlfriend Some Hilarious Ground Rules Before They Watch 'Infinity War' Together

Guy Texts His Girlfriend Some Hilarious Ground Rules Before They Watch ‘Infinity War’ Together

We all have that one movie we really, really want to see. The one we’ve obsessed over for months or sometimes years. We’ve watched the trailers, read all the fan theories, and monitored director changes. Of course we bought pre-sale tickets before post production even began.

Now there’s nothing wrong with going to see that movie alone, but there is usually a special someone you want to tag along that makes the movie watching experience that much more enjoyable.

Just as long as they follow some basic guidelines and protocols, of course.

Usually, those guidelines are unspoken rules and if you have to really spell them out for the friend you’re bringing along to see the movie you-just-can’t-wait-to-see, then chances are they weren’t your first choice to bring with you to watch the film anyway.

However, some people want to be extra, super, specific, clear, and open about what they expect from their movie-watching experience. Like this guy who is very, very, very much looking forward to Marvel’s Infinity War. So much so that he texted his girlfriend an extensive list of ground rules she is expected to adhere to while they watch the movie.

And while they seem excessive, it’s kind of easy to understand why he’d do it. Pretty much all of the Marvel movies that were released since the Edward Norton Hulk film have been leading up to this.

He goes all-in from the first couple of rules. He made it very clear that he doesn’t want the experience tainted by questions or any kind of lovey-dovey business.

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Now those might seem a bit extreme, but they’re easy enough to understand, I hate it when people ask me questions, especially during a movie I’m watching for the first time myself.

But rules 4,5,6 are when the requests get a little over the top. Just a little.

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I mean I get where the guy is coming from, don’t you hate it when you’re excited about something and the person you’re with doesn’t care as much as you do? Here’s hoping his SO is good at faking tears, and having a lawyer handy.

He shows just how serious he is about watching this film with rule #6 though. Mass shootings be damned, he will make it to the end of Infinity War.

But, if she abides, she gets to have her favorite ice cream afterwards. I guess that’s reward enough for subduing a deranged psychopath with a gun, right?

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Some people honestly saw where the guy was coming from.

Other guys were just nodding their heads saying, “yup”.

Joke or not, there were some Twitter users who weren’t tickled pink by the boyfriend’s texts to his boo.

And some had problems with just some of the rules and restrictions.

Still, it seemed like there were more people who thought the man’s demands weren’t all that crazy.

How would you feel if someone invited you for a movie and (half-jokingly) sent over those demands? What would you say?

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Sia Releases Nude Pic Of Herself Before Someone Can Sell It

Celeb nude photo leaks are an unfortunate casualty of our entertainer-worship. There’s a huge market for these candid, private photos of actors, actresses, musicians, and public figures, like “The Fappening” back in 2014, when a huge hack resulted in tons of celebrities having naked pictures of themselvesleaked online.

The “skin trade” of entertainers probably won’t be curbed any time soon, but there are some people battling against it. Some are attempting to classify stolen nude photos as a sex crime, while others are using a different kind of approach.

Like Sia, who, when she discovered that someone was attempting to sell nude photos of herself to her fans, decided to tweet the picture instead.

The pop star mega-genius who writes for the likes of, well, pretty much everyone, posted a watermarked image of her naked bottom on her Twitter account with the following message:

Obviously, everyone on Twitter was a fan of the tactic for multiple reasons. The first, being Sia’s sheer audacity and ability to remove any power that the blackmailer had.

For others, it was because they were digging that Sia was clearly digging her own body.

For others, Sia’s move was the ultimate power play.

By demonetizing this creep’s way of making money, they’ll possibly have to hijack another celeb’s photos to steal. But just imagine: If the human body becomes desexualized and people start realizing that having meaningful relationships is where the real action is at, will pervs like this have a leg to stand on in the future? Sounds like Sia gets it.

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Airline In Finland Will Start Weighing Passengers Before They Can Board

Finnair plans to start weighing passengers before they board their flight in an effort to work out just how much extra weight their planes are carrying. It’s no secret that waistlines across the industrialized world are expanding, the average American man weighs 15 pounds more now than he did 20 years ago. 

This rapid rise presents a problem for Finnair, who are currently balancing their planes based on estimates from the European Aviation Safety Agency, which were made eight years ago, according to The Sun.

According to the old estimates, the average male passengers weighs 185 pounds, while the average female weighs 144 pounds. However, the average Finnish man is 2 pounds heavier than that estimate, and the average Finnish woman is 11 pounds heavier. 

The airline wants to stick between 100 and 150 of its passengers on the scales before every flight to get a better idea of how much the average customer weighs. 

They’re not planning on penalizing anyone they consider overweight, though. However, the program could cut operating costs by giving them more exact estimates on just how much fuel every flight needs. 

Sami Suokas, manager of customer processes at Finnair, said:

Suokas revealed that they’re starting now because passengers tend to fluctuate in weight between summer and winter. 

This isn’t the first time an airline has weighed passengers. Hawaiian Airlines weighed passengers for six months in 2016 on their route between Honolulu and the American Samoa. 

Samoans have one of the highest rates of obesity in the world, and the airline won the right to put passengers on the scales to save fuel and prevent accidents despite numerous complaints to courts from passengers.  

Hawaiian Airlines have since completed their study. 

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Man’s Sarcastic Last Words Before Being Hanged Emerge Online, And People Can’t Even

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Man’s Sarcastic Last Words Before Being Hanged Emerge Online, And People Can’t Even

Daniel Summers, self-described “medicine & health columnist” and “cranky pediatrician,” recently found religion.

He found his patron saint, anyway:

Twitter

Here’s Klaas Meijer’s original tweet:

Twitter

A little history lesson, courtesy of Wikipedia:

Thomas de Mahy, marquis de Favras (March 26, 1744 – February 19, 1790) was a French aristocrat and supporter of the House of Bourbon during the French Revolution. Often seen as a martyr of the Royalist cause, Favras was executed for his part in planning against the people of France and is known for saying ‘I see that you have made three spelling mistakes’ upon reading his death certificate.

Ring any bells? No?

Well, old Thomas got some newfound respect on Twitter, because spelling is serious business:

Summers chimed back in:

And Twitter learned about another badass:

Summers heard from the “well, actually” crowd:

So he clarified his intentions:

And he summed up the unexpectedly epic thread nicely:

Maybe Thomas wasn’t such a great guy IRL, but for spelling geeks? He’s our jam.

H/T: WikipediaTwitter

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These Pictures Of Disney World Abandoned Before Hurricane Matthew Are Super Creepy

To give you an idea of just how severe Hurricane Matthew is, Disney World is closing down in preparation of the mega storm, something the theme park hasn’t done in over 11 years.

But the happiest place on Earth is only made happy by the throngs of parents being dragged by their shouting children in unforgivable heat all while trying to avoid spending a fortune on a bottle of soda or a huge lollipop.

Because without people, the happiest place on earth is just downright creepy.

What makes these photos even creepier is when you consider that over 500 people have already been killed by Hurricane Matthew in Haiti.

Which is insane, because every time you hear the name Matthew, you probably think of Broderick, or Matt LeBlanc.

Or Chris Matthews, who, despite having a program called Hardball, isn’t the first person when you think of something intimidating.

It’s just so eerie.

Unreal. (h/t hellogiggles)

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These Stories Of Horrible Roommates Offer Some Red Flags To Look For Before Signing A Lease

Roommates. When moving somewhere, having one is taken into consideration for no reason other than to increase our quality of life. The average American spends roughly one-quarter of their paycheck on rent and utilities, and having that extra 12.5% of your income freed up by splitting the month to month costs of simply existing with someone seems like a no-brainer. That is, of course, until you hear the nightmare stories people have about roommates.

Thankfully I’ve had a pretty positive experience with all of my roommates in college, but not everyone I knew was lucky. The worst I’ve experienced was having a suitemate that you could smell through the walls. As bad as that was, I wasn’t the one that had to live with him, and my roommate and I were treated to several late night rants by his roommate and some very high-end air fresheners in our shared bathroom that said roommate also purchased as a form of mercy for us and anyone that visited the suite.

Others weren’t so lucky. Perpetual house guests, bad hygiene, fighting, late with rent, and letting filth pile up were among the dozens of nightmare stories I’ve heard from friends on the topic. 

User ShallowTits on Reddit asked the community, “What are ‘red flags’ for roommates?” If you’re planning on sharing a place with one anytime soon, you’re definitely going to want to add these to your list.

  1. The number one offender that all refuse to deal with is the Kidult

    Mom moves him in while he watches. Mom sets his room up while he stares into his phone. Mom shops grocery andcooks it for him while he complains he’s hungry. Mom fills the fridge with pre-cooked meals while he eats. Mom cleans up everything and leaves.

    Congratulations! Now you’re his mom.

    juicius

    This is my most hated kind of person. Unfortunately it usually ends up being men. My #1 red flag for male roommatesAND potential boyfriends is if they are going from their mommy to me. Because inevitably you become their new mommy which is fun in exactly zero ways.

    Then there’s the problem of learned helplessness. You’ll ask them to do X, Y or Z chore and they go “oh I don’t know how” or they’ll give a half hearted attempt to prove to you that they can’t do it, so that you’ll have to from now on, etc.

    I WILL NOT DO IT. I was not born with the ability to cook, clean or organize. I had to learn it on my own, and so do YOU.

    blahblahblah539771

    This. I had to teach my boyfriend, who is 4 years older than me, how to cook for himself, do dishes, clean, etc. when we first lived together (with other people) towards the beginning of our relationship a few years back. I love him to death, and he’s a lot better at domestic things now, thank goodness. But 25 years as an only child getting doted on by his mom really did a number on him. Gotta nip that nonsense in the bud early.

    deesta

  2. Several Take The Opinion Of Their Favorite Roommate Into Consideration

    If your cat loves them more than it loves you.

    Sir_Jorbxnor

    No one will believe this, and it will get buried, but I want to share, so fuck it.

    My dog tried to warn us about my best friend’s ex.

    She was sitting on our couch (in my wife’s normal spot), and we were all talking in the living room. My chihuahua is the most meek, timid, antisocial dog I’ve ever had. She runs if the wind blows too hard. Well this timid dog, in the middle of all of us, ran up to the ex, jumped on her lap, and took a huge shit. Then jumped off and ran. It happened so fast that I assumed her asshole must have had road rash. Everyone just stared in amazement for half a second, before said ex flipped her lid.

    Fast forward six months, ex turned out to be a heroin addict that took my buddy for everything he had that wasn’t nailed down. Thanks, dog, you tried to give us a heads up.

    pissclamato

  3. Of course you get the stray case that makes you wonder if you can scrimp enough change to not need a roommate

    Writes their name on their food in the fridge, and eats your food because you didn’t write your name on yours.

    yellowbythedozen

    This made me laugh. Has this actually happened to you?! (Not at university yet)

    enomancr

    Yeah this actually happened. Years ago, a co-worker was looking to move out of his parents house, and around the same time my GF and I were looking on moving in together. He talked us into renting a house so he could move in with us, which ended up being the start of a series of mistakes that would play out over the course of our one year lease.

    We each bought our own groceries, and we never took anything from him intentionally (might have used margarine he purchased for toast a few times if we were out of butter at best), but because of this he would write his name in permanent marker on everything he’d purchase, including each individual cheese slice in a pack. One day I had picked up a couple of steaks for the GF and I for a special dinner I was planning, and when I went to make them, there was only one left in the fridge.

    Turns out because I didn’t write our name on them, they was considered “free game”.

    yellowbythedozen

  4. One user tried to have others learn from his mistakes

    Oh, man. I have a couple, all gained from painful experience:

    • If someone, before they live with you, constantly comments on how clean your/someone’s place is, when in reality it’s just normal and not that clean at all, take this as a sign that you have very different standards of cleanliness.

    • A little more personal, but- if the person has a history of many friendships lasting less than one year (without excuses like moving or switching jobs), or seems to have a long trail of people that they no longer speak to (orall their old friends are described as crazy psychos), or seems like the greatest person in the world but inexplicably has no friends whatsoever.

    • If someone tells you who they are, listen. For example, when my old roommate said casually in conversation, “Yeah, my mom and my sisters don’t think that I’m capable of feeling empathy, like I’m a sociopath. They used to say that a lot.” The same roommate also once told me that she’s never felt guilt before, and didn’t know what it felt like (she’s almost 30). She also had a restraining order served on her a couple days after she moved in.RED FLAGS.

    • If friends of your potential roommate come to you and ask you if you’ve really thought this through, and mention that maybe you don’t know this person as well as you think you do, listen to those people.

    • If you’ve noticed that this person doesn’t seem to respect the property or personal space of others.

    Those are the biggest ones I’ve experienced.

    Eshlau

  5. And this one is a lesson for the post-college crowd

    In my experience, if you live with a stranger, than sometimes there’s a mutual understanding to be on good behavior. You may never be close, but it may not be an awful situation, either. Sometimes it doesn’t work this way, but in my experience it does a surprising amount of time.

    If you live with a friends, expect every one of their flaws to go up by a multiple of at least 5x. They always are down to drink? Guess what, your house is going to be a party house. Is their car a mess? Guess what, your house is going to be a disaster? Is their homework always late? Don’t be surprised if the rent is late, too.

    And with family, make that 10 – 20x. I knew a guy who always on the lazier side that moved in with his cousin. He then proceeded to stop paying rent and looking for a job. Be very cautious moving in with family.

    HarrysonTubman

  6. This one starts as general advice and gets more specific as it goes.

    Kind of too late to call, but if there’s a fight on move-in day, the whole thing is going to be a fight.

    Also, if one person tries to impose a cleaning schedule or rotation. These things are always doomed for disaster I find, because then there’s documented blame to go around if one person slacks off, even if it’s for a good reason (overloaded with school work, extreme bout of sickness, works 12 hours/day, etc.).

    Finally, if she disappears for four hours and returns bragging about spending $ 200 on professionally done glue-on nails one day, then has her grandparents over the next day bringing food because she’s broke, she has absolutely no understanding of time or money and will not be able to empathise with you when you say you can’t afford the $ 10 it costs to buy a pack of toilet paper because your part-time Wal-Mart job barely covers your share of the rent and your bus pass. She will also eat your food despite labelling and try to flush hard stalks of celery down the toilet.

    Anna_Draconis

  7. Then there’s the in house social aspect of living with someone. Make it clear ahead of time if you’re looking for extended family or just someone to pay the rent on time.

    Drinking habits are a big one. If you have a roommate who’s alright sober but always a problem drunk, consider having to deal with that every time. I’ve had roomates who were great except their drinking was too much.

    Another is expectations. My old roommate thought we’d be that household that goes out every weekend and has grill nights. I just wanted someone to pay rent. While it didn’t cause major problems with me, our third roommate was roped in a lot of social events he didn’t like and caused a great deal of tension

    Lennsik

  8. One user was clearly more experienced than the rest and gave the most in depth advice in the thread

    Having had several roommates, in various housing situations (house, apt, dorms, single-roomie, multiple housemates), my advice would be:

    • At same job for 18 months or more preferably: This helps show financial stability and so you are less likely to get stuck paying extra shares of rent.

    • A reliable vehicle: You don’t have to help them get around.

    • Reasonably clean vehicle: How they keep their car is in my experience a good indicator of how they will keep their personal area.

    • Do you know them already?: Think of the thing that you dislike most about them. That thing they do, that even if they’ve been your best friend for 10 years, still makes your jaw clench. Can you live with that as a daily occurrence?

    • You will likely conflict over washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, and groceries/food. Do you have any idea how they handle themselves on these things?

    • Would you be okay spending time with someone who matters to you while this person is physically present? I’ve had roomies who interrupt 1-on-1 conversations to put in their thoughts, have horrible odor that permeated the apartment due to only showering once every couple days, and listen to their music loud enough that it interferes with other housemates media usage or family/friend visits.

    • Do they have a shitty significant other that you’re aware of? You’ll have an extremely high chance of also being exposed to that person’s crap also like extra bathroom mess, bottles of stuff in the shower, their clothing sitting around or ending up in your washing machine (assume you’re rooming in a house), cigarette butts if they smoke, sex objects, and so on.

    I’ve had my share of horrible roomies who stunk, left messes, had a live-in partner try to piggy back off of their share of rent, disrespected my family, and straight up opt’d not to pay rent thinking I’d be stuck paying for us both. Hopefully any of this helps someone avoid the same.

    RONINY0JIMBO

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This Is Worse Than Any Pimple Popping Video You've Ever Seen Before

Welcome. If you’re reading this right now, then you’ve also spent hours upon hours on YouTube looking at everything from cyst and blackhead extractions to human bot fly and tapeworm removals. And you like it. I’m glad that’s the case.

You see, this video is pretty special. I’ve seen plenty of cyst extractions that have emptied out a peanut butter jar’s worth of hard pus and keratin from a person’s back. I’ve also seen people coat their mirrors in a layer of greasy discharge from a neck, jaw, or forehead pimple. It was always pretty neat to watch.

This one however, is a game changer. Suddenly, the violator is in a person’s mouth. He can feel it. He can taste it. Brandon wrote on Reddit that his tongue was in pain for a few days, and after finding the lump and seeing pus/mucus ooze out, he went to the dentist who ultimately told him that his salivary gland had a blockage and a salivary stone was forming.

When it was ripe for the picking, he did us a favor and recorded the removal for us to see. He pushes his tongue to the roof of his mouth and exerts some pressure. This is the result: 

Gross.

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This Mom Wrote A Hilarious List Of 20 Things You Should Know Before 'Pushing Out A Baby'

Having your first baby is an exhilarating experience until you realize that you have to look after the thing for the rest of your life and sleep is but a distant memory. 

Bekki Pope is a mom and blogger who runs the Facebook page and she’s got some experience in the whole baby thing. So for all the novices, she decided to write a list entitled “20 things to know when you’ve just pushed out a baby,” and it’s pretty damn hilarious. 

1. The after pains. Pain. After. Who knew? When God designed women to give birth, he well and truly screwed us over….

2. Your first wee. Take a jug with you and pour it over your bits like you’re trying to be a star in some very disturbing porno. It helps.

3.. Your first poo. Do not panic. You are not having another baby. It just feels that way. But just remember the size of the thing you pushed out of the front bit, and the prospect of pushing out what’s in the back bit won’t be quite so daunting. Your bum is not falling out. Or it might be. If you have piles. Which you probably do…

4. Your baby looks weird. Like… Really weird. ‘Oh how cute/such a beautiful baby’ etc will be said at you and you’ll accept other people’s opinions, but to you it looks like a hairless slightly purple old grandad with dried blood and skin stuck to its wrinkly face.

5. Their downstairs bits are ridiculous. You will worry about the impact they will have on their lives should they stay like that. Boys little nuggets are the size of whole walnut whips, but their willies are the size of the walnuts on the top that nobody wants. Apparently this ‘swelling’ goes down soon. If it doesn’t, expect ‘big bollocks’ to be part of your sons school nickname.

6. Their first poo is not actually poo. It’s tar. The midwives sneak in over night, fill your baby’s nappy with treacle and then test you to see if you know to get rid of it, or to see if you decide to take one look at it and start googling ‘why do nappies come pre-filled with marmite?’

7. Your first shower will be like a scene from Carrie. It’s normal. It may feel like you’ll never be right again and that you’ll walk like John Wayne forever, and you might, but you’ll feel so much better for the shower. You’re literally washing away your sins. (If the baby was born out of wedlock anyway….)

8. Midwives like babies. They will come and pick yours up with no prior warning. They will squeeze their testicles, massage their tummies to make them crap, and fiddle with their face so much you’re sure the baby looks like it’s had botox when they give it back.

9. Your baby hates you. It’s not crying. It’s communicating with its master- the devil- about how successful their plan to destroy you is going. Seriously – it doesn’t actually hate you. It may seem like it never cries when anyone else holds it or that it enjoys keeping you up all night, but really, it is so dependant on you it’s embarrassing. Human babies are embarrassing.

10. You will say the word ‘latch’ more than you have ever said it in your life. And the idea of a tiny person casually sucking on your nipples suddenly becomes a reality. At this moment, you will feel like an actual proper mum.
And a cow.

11. There are people in hospital that can smell your vulnerability. They will take photos of your baby looking cute and then try and charge you a million pounds for it. They will scroll through the 50 photos they’ve taken of your baby in the same position, asking you to choose your favourites. and if you’ve got a partner like mine, that means you will have to re-mortgage your house by the time he’s done…

12. The hospital food is as bad as it is so that people decide they would rather be in pain and at home than eating ‘peaches and custard’. The custard is hot wee with a splash of breast milk mixed in, and the peaches are body parts that have been soaked in sugar over night. And don’t eat the chocolate mousse. Just don’t.

13. It farts. It burps. It hiccups. It makes weird noises in its sleep that make you think you’re going to wake up and see Chucky in the cot- head spinning and laughing. You hope people know it’s the baby and not you. Not that you’d know if you were farting. Your sphincter muscle control is somewhat lacking at the moment.

14. Everyone you’ve ever met will want to come to the hospital to see you. People get overexcited about visiting hospitals. They feel VIP when they walk in to a ward. You are a VIP- a very in-pain person. And you look and feel like death. So only accept visitors if you are up to it. You’re still so high on drugs that making conversation with adults is like trying to sieve flour with a fishing net. Everything just pours out of you and none of the shit is stopped getting through…

15. Your tummy is now resembling a balloon that’s slowly deflating and feeling very sorry for itself. If you press it, you instantly conclude that it would make a fantastic trampoline for Stuart Little. Or that if you sliced it up right now, the hospital kitchen staff would use it and palm it off as nectarine jelly..

16. They want you on contraception straight away. Countless midwives will come and talk to you about how fertile you are and how likely you are to become pregnant again. They do however forget one crucial thing- you’re never having sex again. You never want to see a penis again. And if one comes near you, you’ll most likely destroy it for the sake of women everywhere. The end.

17. Everything’s angry. Your brain is angry, your eyes are angry, your tummy, your bladder, your bum. Your vagina isn’t angry. It’s f@&king livid. Give it a while to calm down but right now, you and she ain’t friends…

18. People ask you if your milk has come in yet, and you half expect somebody dressed in a cravendale costume to waltz through the door and stay with you forever, handing you milk as and when your baby needs it. Not true. What actually happens is that, about 3 days in, your boobs start to leak like they have forgotten they are breasts and now believe they are garden sprinklers. Whose garden you don’t know, but at the rate they start pouring out it must be the Queen’s…

19. They want you to go home ASAP. You are taking up valuable bed space and now you have delivered your stinky human bundle and they’ve checked it over to make sure it isn’t a live Picasso painting, you’re free to leave. Don’t. Not until you’re ready. Get all the help and advice you need before going home. Because once you’re at home, your baby is expecting you to know what you’re doing and you’ll wish you’d stayed longer at the hospital. If to only delay the car seat fiasco a little longer…

20. Stop worrying. You’re not superwoman. There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as perfect. You are your baby’s normal. You are your baby’s perfect. They aren’t judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It’s a piece of ‘oh my god I can’t do this’. You can. And everyday will get easier. Breath mummy.
You just grew and pushed out a mini Mitchell brother. There’s nothing you can’t do.

Except sleep.
You can’t do that anymore.

Pope’s list was pretty relatable, earning 80,000 shares and thousands of comments from other moms. 

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Joana’s Horde Guide Review – Read This Before Buying a WoW Guide

World of Warcraft guides are easy to come by. There are hundreds of differnt guides available for WoW players; however, not all of them are equal. Some are free, some are cheap, and others cost a bit of money. It can be hard for the average player to pick out a great one. If you’re looking for a good guide, then you must first do a bit of research and read reviews written by other players.

During your research, you’ll probably come across a lot of information about Joana s Horde Leveling Guide. This is what most players consider to be the #1 guide on the net. The first guide was for Horde players who wanted to take their characters to level 60. However, since the release of Wrath of the Lich King game, the guide has been updated with 61-80 information. There is also a Death Knight walkthrough available.

There’s no doubt that this is one of the best WoW guides. It’s no mere e-book that contains the same information as many others on the net. No, this guide has it all: videos, add-ons, interactive features, and more. There are over 35 hours of video footage that show all the secrets of leveling Horde characters. Whether you have a Blood Elf, Undead, Orc, Tauren, or Troll, these videos and manuals will take you from level 1 to 80 in no time at all! Every starter area is thoroughly covered.

One reason why your leveling will go so quickly is because all of your quests will be linked to Allakhazam and Thotbot. You can easily learn where to go and how to get there without having to look for solutions and leaving your game running in the background. You will be shown the shortest distance between any two locations, as well as all the flight paths. You’ll also be guided to all the flight paths without getting lost.

All in all, Joana’s Horde Guide is something that will benefit any WoW player, whether you’ve just started today or a year ago. You’ll never have to worry about getting lost or running out of gold ever again, as these tools, videos, and resources will help you beocme the Elite player you’ve always wanted to be!

Do you want to earn 5,000+ WoW gold in just one week? Do you want to level up your character from 1 – 80 within ten days? You can do so easily by getting yourself Joana’s Horde Guide! No matter what race and class your character is, you can become an elite player and dominate over others with a Top WoW Guide

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