Cards Against Humanity's Email Exchange With a Glitter-Loving Customer Is Hilarious
If you know anything about Cards Against Humanity, then you know first and foremost that the card game manufacturer is well-versed in the ways of trolling. Remember the Cards Against Humanity Saves America pack?
Or how about their “Prongles” joke where they started selling the most blatant rip-off of the world’s favorite canned potato chips?
For all of their publicity stunts, the game’s creators also work on improving the game itself with expansions and add-ons, like the Cards Against Humanity Pride Pack.
The additional set of cards doesn’t just pack a whole bunch of LGBT-themed irreverent jokes and offensive set-ups, it was also supposed to come with a bunch of glitter. You know, for extra fabulousness.
The Pride Pack was such a big success that the CAH peeps eventually ran out of glitter, so some orders were shipped without the shimmery, sparkly extra.
Something that bummed Kaitlyn Johnson out so much that she emailed the games’ customer service reps to ask them if they could pretty please send her some glitter.
And it didn’t take long for them to get back to her with this positively ominous message.
When Kaitlyn came home one day she saw a letter from the game manufacturer in her mailbox.
She ended up getting an apology card in the mail that was completely covered in glitter.
And when I say covered in glitter, I mean, covered in glitter. Can you think of anything more colorfully annoying that opening up an envelope only to be assaulted by bits of sparkles, everywhere?
It wasn’t just the one small envelope that they sent, either.
That was just the tip of the shiny iceberg.
They sent her another, larger envelope, too.
Now she has more glitter than she knows what to do with.
No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you, the Cards Against Humanity crew actually sent Kaitlyn an entire, Costco-sized bag of glitter. Well, if Costco sold glitter, that is.
Here’s the thing: Although Cards of Humanity had already sent her an ungodly amount of glitter, Kaitlyn decided to get into the trolling business herself.
She took a screenshot of their gift, and asked them if that was the best that they could do.
They heard her challenge loud and clear and decided that it was time to really impress her.
An envelope wasn’t big enough to contain the CAH team’s second glitter onslaught on Kaitlyn.
No, that isn’t an old TV set full of static, that’s an enormous mound of glitter.
Finally, Kaitlyn tapped out and admitted that they got the best of the email-glitter exchange.
The Cards of Humanity team reminded her that they did indeed warn her, and Kaitlyn knew it, too.
Now I’m just biding my time until they release a peanut butter Cap’n Crunch extension pack. Until then, I’ll just keep my house glitter-free.
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Woman’s Ex Still Sends Loving Birthday Cards To Their Dog Every Year
By Mustafa Gatollari
2 hours ago
I can’t imagine what it would be like to share custody of a child with an ex. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t ever get divorced or split up – as Louis C.K. said, no one’s ever left an amazing relationship just because. That would be horrible.
But I don’t know if I’d be a big enough person to put my pettiness and anger to the side in order to have a mature, separate relationship with my ex for the sake of our children.
Or if I had to share pets with them, either. Because pets are basically fluffier versions of children that you don’t have to start a college fund for, right?
Which is why I admire this girl’s ex so much.
Homeboy still gets their dog a birthday gift card, two years after they’ve broken up.
Just look at this awesomeness.
He even included a touching message in the card.
Sorry for the late birthday gift. Work has been hectic. So I didn’t get a chance to get you something on time. Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you got spoiled on your special day. I also hope you’re doing well. Knowing you, I’m sure you haven’t slowed down and are just as much of a handful now as you were when we first got you. Usually this is the part where I tell you some story of how you got on my nerves like when you chewed up my credit card and then hid it. (I still have that card by the way) or how you did something incredibly adorable or funny like your first ever bath. But to be honest as precious as those memories are to me it’s the little thing I tend to think about the most.
Those times where me and you would just chill on the couch and watch TV. How you would be up every time I got up early in the morning to see me off to work. The play fights we would have together. Those pictures your mom would send me of that absolutely pathetic/adorable face you would make every time as you watched her leave for work. These are the things I will remember the most.
Watching you grow up from a puppy that fit in the palm of my hand to the overgrown big dog that you are now was nothing short of an adventure, and I loved every moment of it. There is honestly not one time where thinking of you has failed to put a smile on my face. I will forever be
great grateful to you for that. Thank you. I wasn’t able to get you something for Christmas so I added a little extra to your card. Try not to destroy your new toys too quickly 🙂 I love you, Buddy. There isn’t a day that I don’t think of you. As always, continue to take care of yourself and your mom.
Continue to be there for her like you were for me.
I miss you Buddy. See you when I see you.
The touching gesture understandably got some serious love from Twitter.
Petco even reached out.
Apollo seems to be digging his adoration as well.
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Twitter user Morgan Svobodny recently decided to share the Christmas card that her brother, Zach, photoshopped and sent to everyone in their family on her behalf.
In the card, Zach claims that Morgan is now in love with rapper Chief Keef, and adding that she’d dropped out of college after discovering that she was pregnant with his child.
That picture is actually a superb photoshop of these two individual images…
Twitter was understandably impressed with Zach’s photoshop skills…
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To those of us who are, let’s say, “vertically challenged,” being tall sounds like a pretty sweet deal. There’s the potential to be a basketball star or a runway model, the likelihood that you’ll never be picked last for any gym class event, and the assurance that you’ll always be able to see over people’s heads at a concert. The downside, however, is constantly dealing with people asking the same three questions every day of your godforsaken life.
Giving your exact measurements, reporting your basketball history, and commenting on the weather probably gets old after a few years.
Logan, a very tall high school senior from Holly Springs, North Carolina decided to streamline the process by answering FAQs on a business card — which a classmate promptly tweeted for the world to see.
“I’m 5 feet tall, so I obviously noticed he was much taller than me,” Logan’s civics partner, Heather told New York Magazine. “I asked him how tall he was and he said ‘6’7′ and my exact next words were ‘really?’ so he pulled out his wallet and handed me that card.”
We must admit, it gets the job done.
Heather’s photo of the card was retweeted over 35,000 times in 2 days.
And, in case you were needing a visual, this kid is really tall.
Logan purchased the business cards online and has no regrets. “I bought 100 for $ 10,” the 17-year-old, whose card supply is running low, explained.”Best investment yet.” He estimates that people ask him about his height between five and ten times per day.
…In all fairness, though, he did play basketball in the past.
Obviously, the Internet still had questions.
But tall people everywhere were inspired.
They’d do pretty much anything to avoid talking about their middle school basketball careers.
As for Heather and Logan, they’re hoping something good will come of this Internet fame.
The two are working together on a class project, so perhaps some Twitter support won’t hurt. “It’s a project for a presidential election and hopefully we’ll win because of this,” Logan said. (h/t new york magazine)
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