Aliens Might Be Real And It Seems Like People Are Too Busy To Care

Over the weekend, The New York Times released an exhaustive report on a secret and not fully declassified government program that studied U.F.O sightings within the Department of Defense that seems to indicate there have been documented alien visits to our planet. 

The reports says there have been many sighting of aircraft, as well as recovered materials that include alloys that don’t exist on earth and which had “strange effects” on the people who handled them. Whatever.

Perhaps this would be big news literally any other year, but with the pressing and overwhelming issues in politics, culture, and abroad, the most anyone seems to be mustering for aliens being real is a “meh.” Folks are responding with less fervor than they do to a Trump tweet, perhaps because a tweet from Trump is more likely to start a nuclear war. If aliens have been visiting, that’s fine. But did they vote third party?!

Until a space ship literally lands on the White House and crushes the entire Trump administration, I don’t think anyone will really get as excited about this as they should be. We want to see them, if you know what I mean.

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Jimmy And Billy Kimmel Ask Congress To Fund Health Care For Kids After Second Surgery

When Jimmy Kimmel’s son Billy was born earlier this year, the comedian revealed that his newborn son was born with a heart disease that required open heart surgery just days after entering the world.  

At the time, the comedian slammed the Republican healthcare plan, which has since been shot down, pointing out that after the further surgeries his son will require, Billy would probably have exceeded his lifetime allowance and be uninsurable if it weren’t for the Affordable Care Act (ACA), dubbed Obamacare.  

And last week, Kimmel took a break from a show so that he could be with Billy as her underwent a second surgery. On Monday’s show, the two made a triumphant return to the show after the successful operation. 

Kimmel took the opportunity to ask Congress to renew CHIP, or the Children’s Health Insurance Plan. The program provides coverage to the kids of families who don’t qualify for Medicaid, and also don’t have health care from their employer. 

The bill has typically had bipartisan support, but Kimmel accused Congress members of using the bill as a bargaining chip to attempt to pass their tax plan. CHIP’s budget ran out in October, and so far, Congress hasn’t approved any further funding

Kimmel appealed to viewers to call their Congressional representatives and ask them to renew CHIP before they go any further with tax negotiations. 

You can watch the full segment below: 

People on social media were understandably touched by the emotional return. 

Well, that was emotional. 

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Mourning Dog Takes Care Of Stuffed Animals Like Her Own Puppies

HELP, MY HEART!! Look at this good dog. She’s trying so hard to take care of her puppies, but her puppies are three stuffed toys:

BuzzFeed reports that teen Twitter user Xavier Hernandez shared an image of his dog with her replacement family, captioning it, “So my dog was pregnant and she lost all 3 of her puppies so my mom bought her these toys and she thinks they’re her puppies.” Xavier told them that the dog’s name is Twinkle, and her puppies died during their birth. She seemed depressed after her loss, and Xavier’s mom gave her the three toys thinking it might help comfort her. Apparently, she bonded to them right away.

“She didn’t do anything without them and wouldn’t let anyone touch them,” explained Xavier. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, my face is melting faster than the polar ice caps. On the brightish side, Xavier does seem to think Twinkle is doing better, and taking care of her toys has lifted her spirits. But it’s still freaking killing everyone on the Internet:

Twinkle, Twinkle, little star, you are the best dog by far. Cuddle your baby toys close, cuddle your doggos closer.

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