Cards Against Humanity's Email Exchange With a Glitter-Loving Customer Is Hilarious

Cards Against Humanity's Email Exchange With a Glitter-Loving Customer Is Hilarious

If you know anything about Cards Against Humanity, then you know first and foremost that the card game manufacturer is well-versed in the ways of trolling. Remember the Cards Against Humanity Saves America pack?

Or how about their “Prongles” joke where they started selling the most blatant rip-off of the world’s favorite canned potato chips?

For all of their publicity stunts, the game’s creators also work on improving the game itself with expansions and add-ons, like the Cards Against Humanity Pride Pack.

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The additional set of cards doesn’t just pack a whole bunch of LGBT-themed irreverent jokes and offensive set-ups, it was also supposed to come with a bunch of glitter. You know, for extra fabulousness.

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The Pride Pack was such a big success that the CAH peeps eventually ran out of glitter, so some orders were shipped without the shimmery, sparkly extra.

Something that bummed Kaitlyn Johnson out so much that she emailed the games’ customer service reps to ask them if they could pretty please send her some glitter.

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And it didn’t take long for them to get back to her with this positively ominous message.

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When Kaitlyn came home one day she saw a letter from the game manufacturer in her mailbox.

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She ended up getting an apology card in the mail that was completely covered in glitter.

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And when I say covered in glitter, I mean, covered in glitter. Can you think of anything more colorfully annoying that opening up an envelope only to be assaulted by bits of sparkles, everywhere?

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It wasn’t just the one small envelope that they sent, either.

That was just the tip of the shiny iceberg.

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They sent her another, larger envelope, too. 

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Now she has more glitter than she knows what to do with.

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No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you, the Cards Against Humanity crew actually sent Kaitlyn an entire, Costco-sized bag of glitter. Well, if Costco sold glitter, that is.

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Here’s the thing: Although Cards of Humanity had already sent her an ungodly amount of glitter, Kaitlyn decided to get into the trolling business herself.

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She took a screenshot of their gift, and asked them if that was the best that they could do. 

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They heard her challenge loud and clear and decided that it was time to really impress her.

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An envelope wasn’t big enough to contain the CAH team’s second glitter onslaught on Kaitlyn.

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No, that isn’t an old TV set full of static, that’s an enormous mound of glitter.

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Finally, Kaitlyn tapped out and admitted that they got the best of the email-glitter exchange.

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The Cards of Humanity team reminded her that they did indeed warn her, and Kaitlyn knew it, too.

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Now I’m just biding my time until they release a peanut butter Cap’n Crunch extension pack. Until then, I’ll just keep my house glitter-free.

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Waitress Throws Gross Customer Like a Sack of Potatoes After He Gropes Her

There’s a certain type of creep who’ll go out of their way to harass or grope waitresses and waiters

I’ll never get people who think that they can invade someone’s personal space without being annoying, rude, or disgusting. Like people who slink up to you and put their arms over your shoulders, or nudge up in your business to see what you’re eating, or look at your computer screen when you’re working when they have no idea if what you’re looking at is something you’d rather people not see. No, I’m not just talking about weird NSFW videos, but yeah, those totally fall under that umbrella as well.

Even worse are those who think it’s OK to just touch/grope you out of nowhere, especially in situations where it’s completely uncalled for. If you’re drunk in a club, and you like the way someone’s grinding on you, you grind back. If you’re partying and vibing with another person, and they start getting handsy and you like it, then get handsy back.

But if you’re a patron at a restaurant, then I’m sorry, but the only thing you should be putting your hands on is a chicken club sandwich, not your server’s butt. 

And because I’m well-endowed in matters of the posterior, I’ve gotten my fair share of booty slaps, and each one got me angrier than the last. People always have the same dumb grin on their face after they do it, too.

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And as much as I want to knock whoever out unconscious after they put their hands on me, I don’t. It’s a combination of fear and just convincing myself that “it’s not worth it.” But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see them hurt or watch their hands get eaten by a trash compactor.

That’s why it’s extremely rewarding to see how young waitress, 21-year-old Emelia Holden, takes matters into her own hands after a grabby customer thought he could be slick and pat her butt as he walked by.

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Holden was busy taking a customer’s order, with her back turned to the grimy groper who tried to cop a feel as he passed by.

Then, this happened.

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It takes Holden only a matter of seconds to grab the man’s shirt, put him in a headlock, and then slam him to the floor. His back hits the service cart and gets the attention of other customers in the restaurant.

It didn’t stop there, though. Holden talks to her co-workers and asks them to call the police. 

Holden says that she purely reacted on instinct and did what she felt was best. She also says that she has a message for other women who are subjected to harassment in the workplace:

“I just did what I felt was best. I took the guy down and had my co-workers call the police. All that I want from my experiences is for women to know that it’s okay to stand up for yourself. You have every right to wear what you want and you most certainly have every right to defend yourself.”

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Holden’s actions led to the perv ultimately getting arrested for his behavior. Once the police arrived and took a look at the surveillance footage in the restaurant, they cuffed him.

“As soon as the cops saw the CCTV footage, they immediately arrested the man. He sat in jail until Monday so in my opinion, he got what he deserved.”

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Holden isn’t the only waitress who made headlines recently for standing up to a sexually harassing customer.

65-year-old Clarence H. Locke Jr. slapped 23-year-old Denny’s waitress Jayme Adair on the behind after being seated in a booth with his wife. After his spouse went up to use the restroom, Locke went and did this.

The woman from Rome, NY said that she had never encountered sexual harassment in the workplace before and was in “shock” over Locke’s actions.

“I was in shock. I have never had anything like that happen to me before. The customer and his wife came in together. I didn’t recognize him by his face but when he walked in he said, ‘Hello Jayme.’ His wife went to the restroom and I went over and got the couple’s drinks.”

“As I went over to take his order, he reached as far as he could just to reach me and smack my butt pretty hard. I froze up. It was degrading and embarrassing, and completely out of the blue. I froze up. It was degrading and embarrassing, and completely out of the blue.”

“So many women go through this and it is not fair. I did nothing wrong and I did not deserve that.”

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Locke Jr. could face up to three years in jail as forcibly touching someone is classified as a Class A misdemeanor.

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Restaurant Goes Above And Beyond After Sick Customer Adds Special Note

On Friday, Feeley’s Fish and Chip Shop in Belfast, Northern Ireland, received an order from someone who didn’t want any food, they just needed some cold and flu tablets. The restaurant posted the order ticket to its Facebook page, and of course, they obliged.

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The customer, who didn’t want to be named, ordered a pizza and begs the delivery person to visit a supermarket on their way to the house to pick up some medicine. The note reads:

“Will you please stop in [pharmacy] spar on the way and get me benylin cold and flu tablets,” she wrote in her unusual request. “I’ll give you the money, only ordering food so I can get the tablets I’m dying sick.”

The chip shop obliged, and people on Facebook seemed to love the good customer service. Their Facebook post attracted some 14,000 likes and 3,500 shares.

One of them was from the customer, who confirmed that the medicine had indeed arrived. 

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The act has since gone viral, with hundreds of commenters saying that they’ll order from the fish and chip shop.

“Our news and radio shows here in south Australia are talking about this great service travels far haha,” one commenter wrote. 

“Haha! We’re getting this news here in the Philippines. First time I’m hearing about Feeleys in the other part of the planet. Nice news,” wrote another.

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Recommended article: The Guardian’s Summary of Julian Assange’s Interview Went Viral and Was Completely False.

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