Obama Chooses Artist For Coolest Official Presidential Portrait Ever

Barack Obama has chosen artist Kehinde Wiley to paint his presidential portrait for the Smithsonian, and it will probably end up being the coolest portrait of a president there (okay, Kennedy’s is pretty cool, too). Wiley, who is the first black artist to paint a presidential portrait for the Smithsonian, paints black men and women in the style of classical paintings, often in front of a millefleur tableau. 

And because the paintings are based on works from Renaissance and Baroque eras, many of Wiley’s subjects are seen on horseback. Which might be a cool as hell choice for Wiley to make with Obama’s portrait, even if it would result in some Republican eye-rolls.

Though Wiley often paints ordinary men and women, he isn’t a stranger to making portraits of famous people. Previously he’s painted the Notorious B.I.G., LL Cool J, Big Daddy Kane, Ice T, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, and Michael Jackson.

Michelle Obama also picked a black painter, Baltimore artist Amy Sherald, with her own striking contemporary style. Both paintings will be unveiled next year, according to Jezebel.

“The Portrait Gallery is absolutely delighted that Kehinde Wiley and Amy Sherald have agreed to create the official portraits of our former president and first lady,” said Kim Sajet, director of the National Portrait Gallery, in a statement to The Los Angeles Times. “Both have achieved enormous success as artists, but even more, they make art that reflects the power and potential of portraiture in the 21st century.”

Definitely worth a trip to the museum, right?

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This Soup Broke A Food Bank's Record For The Oldest Can Ever Donated

The Cardiff Food Bank in the UK regularly accepts donations of canned food to distribute to those in need. 

Sure, giving money is almost always more effective than going to the store to buy canned food yourself, but if you’ve got some extra groceries hanging around your kitchen and can’t really afford or have time for a supermarket run, it’s still an awesomely kind gesture to donate some long shelf life treats.

Unless they’re 46-year-old cans of kidney soup, that is.

Someone set a record with the Cardiff food bank for donating what is quite possibly the oldest piece of canned grub in the food bank’s history.

People were stunned that someone would actually do such a thing.

Others thought that the ancient can might be worth something.

Others used the unbelievable donation as a reminder of food bank rotation policies.

Apparently donating way too old cans of food is a common practice. Watch this woman open a 35 year old can of corn that surprisingly, still looks edible. But you’d probably have to pay me a lot of money to test whether it really is or not, however.

If you’re going to donate cans instead of cash, just try and make sure the food is for human consumption.

Unless, you’re trying to make headlines with your shameful food donating behavior, that is.

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20 Of The Weirdest Items Pawn Shop Employees Have Ever Seen

The pawn shop is a magical place. It’s a store filled with treasures and each of them has a story to tell. Sure, most of them are really sad, but it is a story nonetheless.

Of course, there are some items that never make it to the pawn shop. These items are way too weird and the kind of thing only their current owner would ever want. While you might think their story would never get told, these items are still really easy to learn about. All you have to do is ask the pawn shop employee. 

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This Woman With A Missing Limb Wrote The Best Tinder Bio Ever

The internet came across the best Tinder bio possibly ever this week, and, well—see for yourself. It was created by a woman who is missing one arm.

Of course, everyone fell in love with her.

But the real fun happened when Lauren—the creator of the profile—discovered that her Tinder profile had gone viral.

“I got home pretty drunk, and I don’t remember typing it up really,” she told BuzzFeed in an interview. “I just woke up to someone DM’ing me a Reddit post asking if it was me, and I was like damn, I guess it is.”

Lauren lost her arm in a moped accident, she told BuzzFeed, and has used social media to help cope with her disability. 

“For a while, I wasn’t okay with the jokes,” said Lauren. “But then I started telling the jokes, and it’s kind of helped.”

She’s basically out of everyone’s league. 

[h/t BuzzFeed]

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The 28 Most Embarrassing Things Parents Have Ever Put Their Kids Through

Embarrassing your children is the most important thing you can do as as parent. You know, after feeding them. And I guess making sure they are are safe is important, too. Of course, you are also going to want to make sure you instill some good values in them, as well. And you have to make sure they have a roof over their head. That seems kind of similar to making sure they are safe, but it feels different enough where it is worth mentioning. 

And if you have two kids, you are going to want to make sure they get along with each other. Also, make sure that they both are fed and are safe. Really, I guess this is the same list as before just doubled. I mean, they only need one roof but…

Whatever. My point is that embarrassing your kids is the most important thing a parent can do. Or maybe it is in the top five most important things. You know what? Let’s call it ten. 

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These Parents Did The Best Thing Ever After Their Daughter Got Her First Period

Periods have been stigmatized for all of modern history, and only recently have things started to slide back into the ‘hey this normal and has been happening for as long as we’ve been a species’ mindset. 

Heck, even commercials for period products still feature some weird mystery blue fluid in them, because showing even a hint of blood makes many uncomfortable. I mean imagine if they were done this way instead:

Today, when little girls become big girls, they usually get a talk and go shopping for overpriced feminine hygiene products. One family took a different approach.

period cake 1
Twitter

period cake 2
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Twitter

For Brooke, crossing into womanhood came with cake. Because her big sister posted it online and because this is the internet, it became hugely popular with the masses, to no one’s surprise.

Plenty of folks are warning her of what’s to come, but for now, Brooke seems to be enjoying the temporary internet fame.

Congratulations Brooke’s parents. You’ve just set the bar.

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Marine's Response To Daughter Asking For Pride Flag Is Best Thing Ever

This Christmas, Twitter user Dakotah from Ohio decided to add something special to the gift list that she gave out to family — a gay pride flag. And this morning, she got it. Along with a pretty touching letter from her father, a retired marine.

Dakotah took to Twitter to share the letter…

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Twitter

People were touched by the response, with Dakotah’s tweet acquiring some 15,000 retweets and 45,000 likes. 

She explained further…

And people were pretty touched by the whole thing.

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This Poor Dog Got One Of The Worst Haircuts We've Ever Seen And It's Hilarious

I’ve had and seen some pretty disastrous haircuts in my time. But this poor dog takes the biscuit. Twitter user Lindsay Martin recently decided to share the butchering that her dog went through after her mom told the groomer “to keep it long on the top.”

Here’s Wembley before his haircut…

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Twitter

And after…

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Twitter

Unsurprisingly, Martin isn’t very happy.

Especially because her mom won’t let her fix it…

Twitter seemed to love it, though.

Martin seems anything but pleased about what happened to poor Wembley.

But was quick to reassure people that he’s doing just fine and clarify that she still loves him, bad haircut or not.

And he does seem happy enough…

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This Is Worse Than Any Pimple Popping Video You've Ever Seen Before

Welcome. If you’re reading this right now, then you’ve also spent hours upon hours on YouTube looking at everything from cyst and blackhead extractions to human bot fly and tapeworm removals. And you like it. I’m glad that’s the case.

You see, this video is pretty special. I’ve seen plenty of cyst extractions that have emptied out a peanut butter jar’s worth of hard pus and keratin from a person’s back. I’ve also seen people coat their mirrors in a layer of greasy discharge from a neck, jaw, or forehead pimple. It was always pretty neat to watch.

This one however, is a game changer. Suddenly, the violator is in a person’s mouth. He can feel it. He can taste it. Brandon wrote on Reddit that his tongue was in pain for a few days, and after finding the lump and seeing pus/mucus ooze out, he went to the dentist who ultimately told him that his salivary gland had a blockage and a salivary stone was forming.

When it was ripe for the picking, he did us a favor and recorded the removal for us to see. He pushes his tongue to the roof of his mouth and exerts some pressure. This is the result: 

Gross.

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Tattoo Artists Came Clean About The Worst Tattoos They've Ever Given

I’ve heard hundreds of stories about tattoos people regret getting, but a recent thread on Reddit asked tattoo artists on the site, “What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever given someone?”

A few vets chimed in on pieces they’ve done in their early days, and other uses shared stories from friends in the industry.

A lot of stories echoed this one, with the customer refusing to listen to the advice of the artist

I did a cover up that I wasn’t proud of, but that’s what the client wanted. A couple came in to the shop asking for a cover up of an ex bf. She showed me and surely enough, a big guy’s name on her side hip. The good part was it was done in a light blue ink, easy to cover.

I already started getting ideas in my head of what to cover it with. Guy steps in and says, “No. We just want a star over it”. The name was about 5-6 inches long and I explained that a star that big would have to be, at least… 8 inches big to fully cover the name. Both said yes to this.

My boss walks over and gets on my ass for not suggesting something else, but I explained to him that that’s what they wanted. Both looked at him and nodded. By the time it was done, this small, petite girl had a blue star covering her entire hip area. It looked cheap, tacky, ghetto mad, just stupid. After that, I refused to do cover ups if the client doesn’t listen to reason.

 MRW I finally catch a Magikarp in PokemonGo and see you need 400 candies to evolve it...

Some used to the tattoo as an extension of their entrepreneurial spirit

Asked my artist this. He told me that years ago some stripper came in looking to have vines and roses tattooed on that would come out of her butthole and curl up her back. He asks why not just get the roses on her back and butt, but she insists it must come out of her anus. He reluctantly does the tattoo for a a high price and said it looked pretty good too. But curiosity got the better of him after a while and he asks why she insists on having it come out of her butthole.

Her response was both the strangest and smartest reasoning I could have heard for such a tattoo. She would dance and she figured the guys would ask “hey how far does that tat go” to which she could say “for ten bucks I’ll show you”. So the dudes pay up a ten spot, she shows her asshole real fast and done deal. She’s richer and they looked at an asshole. My tattoo artist is not proud of that job.

This one was actually heartbreaking

I also asked my artist this question while I was in the chair. His story is actually kind of sad – he was working in a shop somewhere “down south”, and they used to have this Eastern-European sounding guy come in a lot with a string of beautiful Asian girls. The girls would get the same tattoos he had – they stopped serving him after this happened a few times.

The first time they assumed it was a couple tattoo, second time that he has poor judgement, but after that it started to look a lot like a human trafficker marking his “property”. He said one of the girls didn’t even know the tattoo was permanent. He probably regrets tattooing some of those girls.

One user actually requested a bad tattoo, and wrote about his experience of getting shut down

Best interaction I had was with an artist who told me no on a coverup.

I have a big cross and prayer on my arm. I don’t regret it, but I feel like i’ve outgrown it a bit. So I went to this guy and he was skeptical. He said it would have to be the perfect idea to pull it off. So I told him about an idea I had for a totem pole.

A few sketches later and he and me sit to draw over it all with sharpie. I loved it. I thought it was amazing. I couldn’t wait. I asked him when we could start. And he told me he wouldn’t. He told me I could have an amazing tattoo somewhere else, or a “Meh” cover up and this was too good of an idea to waste on something that wasn’t stellar. He explained that it could work, but there would be lettering from the prayer in negative spaces which would fuck it all up.

I thought I would be upset or disappointed, but he earned all of my business forever for being honest about the entire situation.

We start the full calf sleeve in November.

Many were subject to tattoos that didn’t have much thought put into them…

My sister in law just put a Pokemon valor tattoo on someone’s neck.

At all

The worst tattoo I’ve done is “An” beside his butthole and then “s” on the other side of it.

Unfortunately, when being a tattoo artist is your job, sometimes you need to do whatever pays the bills

I asked the tattoo artist this question while I had mine done. Someone he worked with got an estimate request for a vagina to be tattooed onto his taint. She gave him an estimate thinking he’d think it too high and moved on.

Turned out the other places he went to first quoted him higher, so he accepted. The guy I was talking too said he’d walk by her cubicle and see her bent over with the guy’s legs up, and she said she was fine the first hour or so until she took her first break. Then it was torture for her to finish

 

And a few stated that if people were going to spend money on a bad tattoo, they may as well be the ones to collect it

I’m coming into this thread real late, but I’m a Tattooer, and I have two that come to mind. The first one was “FUCK LOVE” across a Hispanic guys knuckles. I guess he had just broken up with his girl, and was really heated. Tried to talk him out of it, said his mind was made up, figured he might as well spend his money with me, and get it done nice. Gave him what he wanted and sent him home.

The other one was on a biker girl that got “Property of (guy’s name)” on her lower back. Talking huge though, literally half her back. Same deal as the last one. Might as well get it done right and might as well be the one that makes the money. Apparently her and the guy had only been dating for two months, and she had just had a baby with another guy. Even asked her when the guy went outside to smoke if she was sure, and that she could back out if she wanted to and made sure she wasn’t getting pressured into it.

She was just genuinely down as fuck for the guy, absolutely stoked to get that tattoo. Hope they’re still together cause there’s no way in fuck that giant tattoo is getting covered.

But most at least knew what their tattoo meant

Not an artist, but one of my friends asked for ‘Love, Laugh and Live’ in Chinese script; it took a few days before someone pointed out to her that she actually had ‘Please choose one of the tattoos below’ in Chinese script on her right arm.

(h/t reddit)

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