Everyone Is Freaking Out About Killer Sex Robots

Today, The New York Post announced that hackers might be able to someday reprogram sex robots and use them for murder. And the general consensus on Twitter seemed to be “good.”

Apparently, cybersecurity lecturer Dr. Nick Patterson said in an interview with Star Onlinethat sex robots are actually much easier to hack into than computers or phones are. “Hackers can hack into a robot or a robotic device and have full control of the connections, arms, legs and other attached tools like knives or welding devices,” he said. So, um, don’t add knives or welding devices to your sex doll.

“Once a robot is hacked, the hacker has full control and can issue instructions to the robot,” Patterson continued. 

Believe it or not, sex robots are already a very real thing, thanks to companies like RealDoll (which has one of the most fascinating, creepy Instagram accounts I’ve ever seen—think 50 percent sex doll wet teeshirt shots, 50 percent technicians holding fake eyeballs). So this future is already theoretically possible.

In the dolls’ defense, however, you can’t get them pregnant, so let’s just say that sex is risky no matter what.

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Everyone Loves This Dog Walking With A Bag Of Dog Food In Texas

Over the weekend and continuing into this week, the people of Houston and its outskirts have been battered by an unrelenting storm. Conditions are extremely serious, with deep floods displacing hundreds of thousands of people. 

“We are not out of the woods yet,” Elaine Duke, the acting Homeland Security secretary, said, according toThe Washington Post. “Harvey is still a dangerous and historic storm.”

Conditions are terrifying, and seeing the difficulties of the city under the circumstances has been heartbreaking. That may be why this photo of a self-reliant dog has gotten so much traction. Taken in a town called Stinton, near Corpus Christi, the image shows waterlogged streets and one lone, resilient pup trekking through the street with an entire bag of dog food:

It turns out the dog’s name is Otis, and this is a story with a happy ending. Otis belongs to the grandson of a man named Salvador Segovia. Segovia’s grandson and his parents left Stinton when the storm hit looking for shelter, but Segovia stayed and agreed to check on Otis. He told the Boston Globe that he left Otis in a screened in porch with food and water, but noise from the storm must have scared him so he burst out. Poor pooch!

‘‘I stuck my head out yelling and yelling, and no Otis,’’ Segovia said. ‘‘The following morning, I got out and kept yelling, circled the block and everything, and nothing. We didn’t know where Otis was.’’

Tiele Dockens, who snapped the viral pic, ended up following Otis to see if he was okay, and went with him practically to his front door. She saw Segovia out searching and pointed Otis out to him.

‘‘This lady comes by and tells me, ‘Is that your dog coming down the road?’” Segovia said. ‘‘And I turn around, there comes Otis, and he’s carrying food!’’

Otis then set down the food and took a rest—he’d had a wild night.

Apparently, Otis is fairly well-known in the small town, and often runs off alone, even stopping in at the local Dairy Queen for a free burger.

‘‘Otis is a smart dog,’’ Segovia said. ‘‘He knows where to go pick up a treat.’’

Segovia thinks Otis got the bag of food at the local lumber and building supply store, because the owners there often feed him.

‘‘I’m thinking he picked up that dog food and he knew where it was,’’ Segovia said. ‘‘Nobody was there to feed him, and he picks up the dog food.’’

May Otis serve as a mascot to Texas in this time of serious trouble. He made it home, and we all hope every citizen of the city will as well.

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Everyone (Even Elon Musk) Has Feelings About This Cat That Got Stuck In A Tesla

Over the weekend, YouTube user S U faced a problem that (presumably) no human being has dealt with before: a cat was stuck inside his Tesla. He heard a cat meowing and traced the sound back to his car. What made this situation extra weird? He didn’t have a cat.

So he posted a video asking for help:

Fortunately, he was able to bring his Tesla Model X into a service station after what I assume was a very strange call. They were successfully able to get the stray cat out. But she did not want to leave. 

The car’s owner named the kitten Tessie and she is doing much better now. They gave her a some water, and eventually one of the rescuers was able to find her a new home. In a third video, “S U” said, “Her weekend obviously had a rough start but she probably had the best end of the weekend ever.”

Tessie has been getting a lot of attention online. Even Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk was talking about her. 

And the rest of the internet followed suit. 

As cute as this is, let’s just hope that Tessie learns to stay away from cars from here on out. 

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Guy Paid Stranger's Parking Meter And Everyone Thinks He's A Genius

Guy Paid Stranger’s Parking Meter And Everyone Thinks He’s A Genius

A car insurance salesman took a twenty-five cent gamble that is paying off in a huge way. A Reddit user posted an image of a note he found on his car reading, “I paid your parking meter for you … imagine what else I’m willing to do to protect your car.” Attached was a business card for a man who was identified as Andrew Cooney, who sells insurance in Rochester, Minnesota.

Marketing mastermind

The poster captioned the note, saying, “Got caught up and couldn’t pay my meter today,” and labeling Cooney as a “Marketing Mad Man.” Cooney confirmed to Mashable that this is indeed one of his many strategies for attracting business, but he probably never thought it would lead to being on the front page of Reddit. The comments in Cooney’s favor are wildly enthusiastic:

Though of course, there are plenty of suspicious people on Reddit, who were quick to suggest the whole thing is a scheme. I mean, it kinda is, but probably not one that Cooney thought would get THIS big:

If Cooney did post this image to Reddit himself, he’s even more of a genius than we all initially thought. That’s also a much cheaper form of advertising than going up and down Rochester’s main street filling meters. My hat’s off to him, either way.

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Girl's Phone Charger Goes Into Her Foot And Everyone Is Grossed Out

Growing up, I was always a messy kid. Many of us were, and it always seems to get worse as we approach our college years. For one Nebraskan native, her reluctance to clean her room came at a price.

This is what her room looked like.

messy1
Twitter

And this is what happened.

messy 2
Twitter

Yea, it’s in there pretty deep.

messy 3
Twitter

She took pictures and posted a PSA on Twitter. Her post took off both for the picture of her room and for her new foot piercing.

Reactions were all over the place, but first and foremost, how did this even happen?

Ouch. Twitter didn’t let her off easy. Folks expressed their disgust at her injury…

And the current condition of her room.

Still, some felt sympathy for her. A prong on the bottom of your foot isn’t something that slides in all that smoothly after all.

But just as many people had no sympathy for her at all.

People made their jokes, of course.

And some folks used their excellent observational skills to help drive home just how dirty her room was.

But ultimately, she made out OK.

A photo of a clean room has yet to surface, but there were plenty of comments suggesting that she just clear a walkway through the room and pile things on the side instead.

We’re living in the future.

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Michelle Obama Delivered Her Final Speech As FLOTUS And Everyone Got Weepy

All good things must come to an end: most TV shows, fast food binges, and the fabulous reign of FLOTUS and Queen of Our Hearts Michelle Obama. 

Obama delivered her final speech as first lady on Friday at an event honoring the 2017 School Counselor of the Year, a ceremony that she introduced in 2015 to honor distinguished high-school counselors

The audience members weren’t the only ones crying — FLOTUS herself got pretty emotional as she bid farewell to her adoring public. 

Throughout her speech, she echoed the values espoused throughout the Obama presidency. 

Michelle Obama Delivers Final Speech At The White House
getty images

Diversity, she reminded the audience, is “not a threat to who we are. It makes us who we are.”

…Perhaps a sentiment directed at the upcoming administration?

“Lead by example,” she told the young people in the audience, “with hope, never fear.”

Yes, FLOTUS. 

We can expect a final address from her husband  (who we’ll miss almost as much) President Barack Obama on January 10th in Chicago.

The Obamas will be vacating the White house in just two weeks. 

~Downs eight pints of ice cream and sobs~ 

You can watch her full speech below (about 17 minutes into the video).

We’ll miss you, Michelle. 

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Wendy's Is Trolling Everyone On Twitter And It's Great

Wendy’s Twitter account has been on fire since their absolutely savage to a guy who said their burgers were frozen went viral earlier this week. They’re done putting up with your nonsense, and they’re not afraid to show it.

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Recommended article: The Guardian’s Summary of Julian Assange’s Interview Went Viral and Was Completely False.

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Corona Beer Founder Makes Everyone In His Tiny Home Village A Millionaire

Back in August, Antonino Fernández, the founder of the Corona beer empire, died at the age of 98. And in news that has just recently emerged, he left a little surprise for the residents of a poor town in which he grew up. 

Cerezales del Condado is a small town of 80 people in Spain. When Fernández was growing up as one of 13 children, his family battled poverty. Like many children in the area, he had to drop out of school at 14 so he could help his family by working in the fields. 

But this week, the town had jubilant celebrations after it emerged that Fernández had left every single person in the town 2.35 million euros ($ 2.5 million) in his will. That’s a total of  $ 210 million if you’re counting.

village-large_trans++iyqoT1SBB9va1sGv7GIjEgZahjoHOaSdYp5wt5RPc5I

Maximino Sanchez, who owns a bar in the village, told the Diario de León newspaper: “We never had any pesete (money) before. I don’t know, what we would have done without Antonino.”

Following the devastating Spanish Civil War, Fernández moved to the town of Leon in northern Spain, where he married his wife Cinia González Díez.

Fernández moved to Mexico in 1949, at age 32, to work in the warehouse of his wife’s uncle. He worked his way up through the ranks, becoming CEO in 1971, and eventually using that position to found Corona, one of the biggest beer companies in the world.

This move is no surprise to those who knew Fernández, the billionaire was honored by the former King of Spain for charitable deeds. His most notable was the establishment of a service that helped disabled people look for work. 

The village is also getting a brand new cultural center, paid for out of his inheritance and a local non-profit foundation with 300 employees is getting an undisclosed amount of money. 

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30 Couples Costumes That Won’t Make Everyone Else Roll Their Eyes

Can you think of any holiday more romantic than Halloween?

Valentine’s day, sure. 

But can you think of an other holiday where you and your significant other get to stay up late and get drunk? Okay, yeah. New Year’s Eve. Good point.

Well, what about a holiday where everyone just eats and eats and eats? I guess that sounds more like Thanksgiving now that I am thinking about it.

Well, here is something that only Halloween has going for it. Costumes. No other holiday has that. Unless you count those ugly Christmas Sweaters, or overly patriotic clothing for Fourth of July, or… Nevermind. 

Just trust me. Halloween is unique and these costumes are somehow bearable considering they’re coordinated. 

  1. This scandal

  2. The Cookie Monster after dark

  3. Oh, no.

  4. Little Red Riding Hood with a tragic ending

  5. Aww

  6. Bit chilly for this costume, no?

  7. They are lucky they found each other

  8. Clever girl

  9. I am sure they have a loving relationship

  10. This night also ended with explosive diarrhea

  11. Yes!

  12. Couple notes…

  13. That cat is gonna eat the other cat

  14. Nothing strange about this

  15. It loses all value once you take it out of the box

  16. My sun and stars

  17. Couples that dress up together, stay together

  18. Hey, I’m not your friend, buddy!

  19. Deep cut.

  20. You better take care of her

  21. While partying they drank red rum

  22. Hey. At least you can laugh about it.

  23. What a blast!

  24. If I had a quarter for every time…

  25. A very sexy costume

  26. Yum

  27. BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE! BEETLEJUICE!

  28. Who would ever break these two apart?

  29. For the more artistically inclined

  30. And lastly, the spookiest thing you will see all Halloween

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Clowns Have Started 'Clown Lives Matter' Because Everyone Is Threatening To Shoot Them

In case you’ve been living under a rock, there are a bunch of pranksters going around dressed as clowns threatening to kidnap kids and generally trying to frighten people. Just today, a knife-wielding clown wearing big floppy shoes chased a teenager through a New York subway station. And earlier this week, a boy in Arizona claimed that he was cut by another knife-wielding clown

In response, some users on social media have been threatening to shoot any clowns that approach them. 

Unsurprisingly, professional clowns are getting pretty fed up with the pranksters and the potentially deadly response they’re generating. 

To combat the trend, the clown community in Tucson, Arizona, have decided to organize a “Clown Lives Matter” march for next week.

More than 100 clowns are expected to come to the protest according to organizers, while a flyer for the event explains the reasoning behind it.

“This is a peaceful way to show clowns are not psycho killers. We want the public to feel safe, and not be afraid. So come out, bring the family, meet a clown and get a hug!”

Jordan Jones, known professionally as Snuggles the Clown, works in Screamland Farms in Frederick, Maryland. He started the Clown Lives Matter movement to show pranksters that they’re putting the lives of professional clowns in danger. Snuggles told FOX:

“Everyone took this as a joke but it’s really become serious now, and I just want all these teenagers to know that it’s not a game anymore. You’re ruining my job and other actors around the world.”

“They go outside like myself the other day I went outside for a photo shoot and people were driving by taking pictures saying they are going to call the cops because they profiled me as one of the clowns in the woods.

And he says that the recent attacks aren’t just worrying him. 

“You know my family they fear for my life now. My sister, she don’t want me doing this anymore.”

He hopes that marches like those in Tucson will help people take the profession seriously.

“They need a positive role model like myself. Yes, I’m in the clown suit, but at the end of the day I’m a brother, I’m a nephew, I’m an uncle, I have a family.”

“I think it’s really negative. It’s becoming very, very serious and I don’t think a lot of people know how serious it’s becoming.”

But people don’t really know how seriously to take the movement. 

Police forces across the country have condemned the clown sightings, saying that pranksters are wasting valuable resources. 

“There are many other emergencies and calls for service that troopers and other first responders need to get to without being misdirected to a prank,” Connecticut state police said in a statement. 

That statement followed several lockdowns at schools in various states when clowns were spotted nearby. A 13-year-old student in Texas was arrested on terrorism charges after posting a “clown’s hit list” featuring the names of several classmates on social media.

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