Reporter Shares Excerpt From Trump's Speech To The Navy–And Everyone's Perplexed

There may be literally nothing more confusing in this country than President Trump.

How do you even mix up the biggest loss of USA life in 100 years with a convenience store?

And in his speech to the US Navy, MSNBC reporter Kyle Griffin noticed that there was not one coherent thought to be found in Trump’s word salad.

INVISIBLE PLANES, Y’ALL.  INVISIBLE PLANES.  SO GOOD YOU CANT SEE THEM.

“I said, ‘That helps.   That’s a good thing.'”

Yes, this is all fun and games, but Trump is playing with lives here.  The US armed forces depend upon a Commander-in-chief to make informed decisions about their equipment as well as their plan of approach; and unless Trump is living in the DC Universe with Wonder Woman, there’s a good chance that plane is simply not invisible.

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This Tall Kid Made Business Cards To Answer Everyone's Dumb Questions About His Height

To those of us who are, let’s say, “vertically challenged,” being tall sounds like a pretty sweet deal. There’s the potential to be a basketball star or a runway model, the likelihood that you’ll never be picked last for any gym class event, and the assurance that you’ll always be able to see over people’s heads at a concert. The downside, however, is constantly dealing with people asking the same three questions every day of your godforsaken life. 

Giving your exact measurements, reporting your basketball history, and commenting on the weather probably gets old after a few years. 

Logan, a very tall high school senior from Holly Springs, North Carolina decided to streamline the process by answering FAQs on a business card — which a classmate promptly tweeted for the world to see.  

“I’m 5 feet tall, so I obviously noticed he was much taller than me,” Logan’s civics partner, Heather told New York Magazine. “I asked him how tall he was and he said ‘6’7′ and my exact next words were ‘really?’ so he pulled out his wallet and handed me that card.”

We must admit, it gets the job done. 

Heather’s photo of the card was retweeted over 35,000 times in 2 days. 

And, in case you were needing a visual, this kid is really tall. 

Logan purchased the business cards online and has no regrets. “I bought 100 for $ 10,” the 17-year-old, whose card supply is running low, explained.”Best investment yet.” He estimates that people ask him about his height between five and ten times per day.

…In all fairness, though, he did play basketball in the past. 

Obviously, the Internet still had questions. 

But tall people everywhere were inspired. 

They’d do pretty much anything to avoid talking about their middle school basketball careers. 

As for Heather and Logan, they’re hoping something good will come of this Internet fame. 

The two are working together on a class project, so perhaps some Twitter support won’t hurt. “It’s a project for a presidential election and hopefully we’ll win because of this,” Logan said. (h/t new york magazine)

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