These Parents Wrote The World's Funniest Letter From The Tooth Fairy

Henry Warren’s son Sam recently lost a tooth, and Warren decided the tooth fairy needed to respond in a way that encouraged his son to get better at dental hygiene. The resulting letter will prepare Sam for a lifetime of dealing with dodgy gym membership contracts.

After the ingenious letter went viral on Twitter, Henry Warren spoke to BuzzFeed about Sam’s reaction to the tooth fairy’s correspondence. Apparently, Sam was “rather chastened,” but “one is never too young to be exposed to petty bureaucracy.” After all, the Warren family is British, and it apparently is the British way.

“Whilst the tone may have come across as a touch harsh, we think people should take the time to appreciate how hard it is being a tooth fairy in Theresa May’s Britain,” said Henry. “The Department of Tooth Fairies (DoTF) has not been immune to austerity. Barry’s hours are long, the pay is poor, (the free dental is obviously a plus) but overall it’s a tough gig.”

“We’re sure that Barry was just processing the tooth through the proper channels,” Henry said. “He’s a stickler. One has to be these days.”

From the Twitter response, it seems like Henry is inspiring other parents to take similar action. Pity the poor children who will get similar letters from pedantic tooth fairies in the future.

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Twitter's 19 Funniest Excuses To Get You Out Of Jury Duty

I served on a jury shortly after graduating college. It was fine, because I didn’t have a job at that point and didn’t have anything better to do. 

However, if you were to ask me today to serve on a jury I would do whatever I could to get out of it. I have too many other things on my plate to worry about small stuff, like the pursuit of justice. I could simply say that I don’t think I can be impartial and that normally gets you off pretty quickly. But that seems boring so I think I’ll use one of these more creative responses. 

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22 Funniest History Facts You Never Learned In School

I will preface this by saying our sources from the time are sketchy at best, so this may not have happened, but I digress:

We all know Charlemagne yes? King of the Franks and all that. Well, while he did a great deal for the Frankish legacy, he wasn’t the first independent Frankish king. That honour went to a guy named Childeric, and this dude must have been fine as fuck because his sexual escapades are insane.

So Childeric was actually king twice, but he never got usurped – nope, he was instead exiled, not for killing anyone or shit like that, just because he fucked so many of the Frankish noble’s wives. Genuinely, the sources tell us he was banished because all the lords realised that their wives were all cheating on them with the same dude, and so told the king to fuck off. So he duly did, and ended up in the court of another barbarian king as an ally to him. During this time, he got into the royal court, got chatting with the king’s wife, and you guessed it, diddled the lass. Following this, rather than keeping it a thing on the down-low, Childeric straight up declared that he was marrying the wife, ran off with her, and brought her back to the nobles that thought they were finally rid of the horny bastard.

Fortunately for women everywhere, this queen seems to have had a bit of mettle, because nothing else is written about him running off with any other important women. Instead he had a son, a lad named Clovis, and thus began the rise of the Frankish Empire that spawned modern day Germany and France.

So two modern European nations have a grandfather who was just a massive horny fuck.

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The 31 Funniest Tweets About The Second Presidential Debate Of 2016

If you thought the first presidential debate was bad, then you weren’t prepared for the show the free world was just treated to.

Between Trump’s surprise pre-debate guest panel, his (admittedly hilarious) quick quips, and constantly giving answers to questions he wasn’t asked, you could tell from the moment that they started the debate that he came to fight, and boy was it a show.

When both parties met on stage, the customary handshake was declined. The first half hour was akin to relatives arguing at Thanksgiving dinner. The famous Trump sniffle also returned, along with a potential 3rd candidate that crashed the party by landing on Hillary’s face, and the entire 90-minute SNL-esque event leaves us all wondering what to expect in 10 days, when the third and final debate takes place.

People had plenty to say on Twitter tonight, mainly because there was plenty to comment on. They’ll be talking about this for days.

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17 Of The Funniest Reactions To Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston's Breakup

If you were taking bets on how long it’d be before Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston broke up and put your money on 3 months, get ready to cash in. TMZ and E! News have confirmed that the pair has split because Tom wanted the relationship to be more public than Taylor wanted. Unsurprisingly, the people of Twitter aren’t exactly having a hard time believing that Hiddleswift is no more. 

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