This 'Dirty' Guy's Response To A Mom Trying To Make An Example Out Of Him Is Perfect

This 'Dirty' Guy's Response To A Mom Trying To Make An Example Out Of Him Is Perfect

There’s this perception that human beings have and it’s that things that are “easier” are almost always better.

Which is true, for the most part, you shouldn’t waste your time on things that aren’t worth it when you aren’t spending as much time on other aspects of your life that are way more important. It’s like obsessing over the type of cheese you’re going to platter for a friendly get-together while you’re working a job you hate and your resume’s been collecting dust and needed to be updated three years ago.

You should absolutely be willing to get your hands metaphorically “dirty” in order to accomplish your dreams.

Especially if that includes actual dirty work. For some people, being successful isn’t defined as sitting in an office or behind a computer all day – they like working with their hands and getting the occasional grime on themselves. And it doesn’t make them any less of a person for enjoying that kind of lifestyle.

A lesson that Andy Ross hopes he imparted on a young girl and her mother during a visit to the store when he had some dirt on his face. He shared the message on Facebook, where it’s been shared over 163,000 times.

Andy writes that the child kept staring at his dirty face, which didn’t bother him, until the young girl’s mother tried to use him an example of “why you should stay in school.”

So I had a very interesting “educational” conversation with a woman and her daughter today. As I entered the store before I got home, a little girl kept staring at me. Which is fine. I know that kids are curious when they see someone, especially as dirty as I was. They ended up in front of me as I was checking out. Little girl still staring, her mother told her to stop staring. As they finished and headed towards the door, I hear her mom say quietly to the little girl “that is why you need to stay in school”. I figured this was a great time to educate this mother and her 7/8 year old daughter. The following is our conversation: 

First, I happen to be a very educated dirty man. I not only have a high school diploma, I also have a college degree and many medical certifications. So assuming that I am uneducated because of my appearance is actually quite ignorant in itself. 

Secondly, if you are telling your daughter to stay in school because I have tattoos up and down my arms, that will actually suppress her creativity and potentially hinder her imagination as she develops. Again, contradictory to your point ma’am. I am proud of my tattoos and artwork that Forrest Bateman put on my body. It’s a representation of my pride in my country and my service over multiple combat tours as a special operations medic. 

Third, if you’re referring that statement to the hat (not featured) I’m wearing because it features an elk, you might not understand it. I happen to co-own Evergreen State Outdoors and am proud to own an outdoors company and support my rights to hunt and responsibly be a gun owner. 

Finally, I chose to work in a construction industry. I am proud to say that I am apart of building America and I enjoy my job everyday. I tried working a desk job when I got out of the service and it wasn’t for me. I enjoy working with my hands and being outdoors. Subsequently, it comes with being dirty some days. I make good money, have benefits, and am able to provide for my family without issue. So my appearance reflects nothing to do with my level of intelligence or pursuing a higher level of education. 

I left the the two with a simple final statement of “have a good day and try not to judge people before you know anything about them. Good luck with her little girl” 

Today’s lesson for the day:

1- don’t judge people at first glance.
2-do what you love and enjoy and it’s never work.
3-blue collar jobs are the best jobs. They can pay great and it doesn’t always come with a price tag.
4-education is important, but college doesn’t guarantee you anything.
5- experience, hard work, and dedication allow you to be successful in your career path.
6-don’t be an asshole parent who raises their kids to be an asshole.
7- when attempting to insult someone’s intelligence and education level, don’t allow yourself to be out educated by said dirty man.
8- I need a shower.

People loved his post and the “lesson” he hopefully taught the young girl and her mother that day.

And of course, there were people who found a problem with the message he was trying to get across.

Equally insulting to people who work “dirty jobs” is the appropriation of “hard work culture,” something that former Dirty Jobs show host, Mike Rowe, talked about at length in this facebook post blasting “fake mud jeans.”

The part of the post that sums up his argument hits the nail on the head on people who “mock” hard work:

If Nordstrom’s wants to carry them, the description would read something like this:

“Finally – a pair of jeans for the hard-working gent who doesn’t want to actually wear them. The Borax Wash is so rugged and so manly, they don’t even need a human to hold them up! So sit back and relax, secure in the knowledge that your work pants can’t be folded or stored like other jeans. Show the world you mean business by owning the only jeans that can’t be worn! The jeans, that can stand on their own!”

$ 600 – only at Nordstrom.

And if you really wanted a pair of “dirty” jeans, you could just do this:

But I guess that would be too much “dirty” work for some people to handle.

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This Guy's Pre-Workout Amazon Review Lists All The Hilarious Side Effects He Felt

This Guy’s Pre-Workout Amazon Review Lists All The Hilarious Side Effects He Felt

One of the best (and worst) parts about the internet is that so much stuff is just plain made up.

Now you might be asking yourself, “How can that ever be considered positive?” And it’s true, there is a ton of fake news out there causing all sorts of havoc, so much in fact, that some people feel it helped get a former reality TV star elected President.

But, I would counter your fake news woes with the wonderful world of exaggerated Amazon product reviews that are almost always hilarious. I mean, just look at these amazing words of praise for the iconic three-wolf moon shirt.

That’s right, he called it “career development fertilizer.”

You can buy pretty much anything on Amazon and find out whether it’s good or not thanks to the retailer’s handy-dandy comments section. Coincidentally, people who actually take the time to read product reviews are prime targets for some lighthearted trolling/gifts of hilarity. Like the reviews that have been pouring in for this pre-workout powder.

Now if you’re unfamiliar with the world of fitness supplements, there’s one thing you need to know: it’s a lawless wasteland.

Because of that, it’s home to some of the craziest, “bro-science” claims you’ll ever hear. As a result, there are some MOs that lots of these supplements follow. And if you used to read Muscular Development and all the crazy bodybuilding magazines back in the day, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

The LIT pre-workout powder’s product description falls in line with the supplement lingo.

  • Clinically Dosed Pre-Workout
  • Built By Science. Driven By Obsession. Elevated Through Innovation.
  • If It’s On Our Labels, Then It’s In Our Bottles. Get Lit And Train With Focus, Power And Pumps.
  • Proven Ingredients. Proven Doses. Clinical Quality. Real Science. Real Results.
  • Summary:

Which may or may not have inspired people to write such hilarious testaments to the efficacy for this “pump” powder. Like Amazon user Dino2925’s review of the stuff.

Here it is, in full:

Walked into the break room at work for a glass of ice water. Noticed a container of this sitting on the shelf. Thought it might flavor my plain water reasonably well so I mixed some up. Blue Raspberry. I read the label as I stirred. “May cause flushing and tingling”. I smirked, thinking that wouldn’t be an issue. Background: 5’11”, 270 lbs. A walking wall that spends an inordinate amount of time lifting large weights. I don’t use supplements but am peripherally aware of their function. This is labeled as a pre-workout supplement. I figured that since I was going to the gym later, it couldn’t hurt.

The taste was delicious. Sour and refreshing. Within a couple minutes, my face went numb. I laughed, thinking maybe there was something to that warning label. Soon, the tingling spread to my arms, legs and chest. Then the itching started. The whole body itching that someone might experience after swimming in a lake of toxic waste. The label didn’t mention the itching. Then the caffeine kicked in. I think that the manufacturer forgot to mention that one of the secret ingredients was methamphetamine. Proprietary blend, with a sprinkle of cocaine. I literally couldn’t blink. Had I been surrounded by a group of angry police officers, I suspect the ensuing viral video would have been epic. One review mentioned that this product is ‘Fire’. That phrase went though my mind prior to reading it.

It took about two hours for the product to wear off. The itching was unnerving. Ten hours later and my tongue still hurts. I never did get to the gym. This product would likely be awesome during the first hour of a Zombie Apocalypse, as your situational awareness will be off the charts. You’ll feel as strong as a gorilla and the itching will keep you moving. I don’t know if sweating would help mitigate the itching but I suspect not.

When I get back into work on Monday, that container will still be sitting there. Calling me. Tempting me. Part of my brain will shout “Remember the itching!”. Another part will whisper “Remember the rush….” I’ll probably opt for a glass of water and think about zombies.  

The invigorating, itchy affair didn’t seem solely reserved for Dino, either. Other people testified to the fortifying effects of the powder.

Others think the pre-workout is so good that Jesus himself would use it.

Lots of the reviews comment on the fact that the product leaves you feeling “tingly,” but everyone pretty much unanimously agrees that it works.

Not sure I want to be itching/tingling all day just to have a slightly better workout, but I have to be honest, I do kind of want to try it now. Sorry Dino, your trauma has done little to dissuade me from wanting this product.

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This Guy's Christmas Card 'Hack' Is The Most Hilarious Way To Save Money

The presents are unwrapped, the tree has been thrown on the curb, and life continues into the new year until next holiday season. But between now and then there are a whole lot of other holidays and special occasions to be celebrated. If you’re the sort to send cards, you’re probably looking for the perfect illustration and sentiment to convey your feelings via the U.S. Postal Service.

But Twitter user Joe Heenan has another idea. Just use whatever you got! Heenan shared his altered Christmas cards that have been spruced up with nothing more than a black marker and some ideas. It’s a very economical way to celebrate the people you love in life:

Perfect for any occasion—except you should know, Joe, that same sex marriage is just called marriage now, especially if you’re congratulating somebody! But otherwise, a total hit:

A few people even had their own examples:

A wood burner is really reaching, but why not find all sorts of things to celebrate? Goodness knows I have enough unused cards lying around.

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We Can All Relate To This Pizza Guy's Refreshingly Honest 'Sick Note'

If you’re a mere mortal, you’ve probably woken up one morning knowing that going to work simply isn’t an option. Perhaps you had an extra drink (or seven) the night before and the throbbing headache and severe dehydration aren’t going anywhere. The hangover is here to stay for the next five hours. 

So what do you do? Tough it out and somehow make it to work? Not ideal. Make up some pathetic excuse that your boss will see right through? Also not appealing. 

So… Why not settle for honesty? Who knows, maybe someone will sympathize.

Business owner Blake Pendlebury chose this noble route when he needed to call in sick to work. 

After an eventful afternoon at a horse race — with a successful bet, no less — Pendlebury consumed quite a few drinks, rendering him way too drunk to go to work. So he wrote a sick note… On Facebook. 

Sorry Queensland, but you’ll have to settle for some other variety of pizza for one night. 

Well, we appreciate the honesty…. And we empathize. 

The racing event responsible for all this fun (and alcohol consumption) even got involved and congratulated him on his win.

Maybe we’ll take this approach from now on… No way it could go wrong. (h/t mashable)

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This Guy's Reaction To Exotic Animals Is The Purest Thing To Happen In 2016

If you look at any teenagers online profiles, it would be pretty easy to write off this generation of high school students as Instagram obsessed brats with no real passion for anything outside social media. However, for every kid glued to their iPhone, there’s a kid appreciating the incredible world around them. The latter are our hope for the future.

One of those hopes for the future is 17-year-old Jalen Brooks, a high school senior from Riverside, Illinois. A herpetologist came to his high school zoology class to show the students rare animals that had been confiscated from the illegal pet trade… And let’s just say, Brooks was pretty damn mesmerized. 

Classmate Jill Lojas tweeted a video of Brooks’ epic reactions to the presentation. 

Clearly, Brooks could NOT handle the majesty of the animal kingdom. 

“It began when he pulled out the biggest duck species there is! I was super intrigued,” he told BuzzFeed News. “After that,  then he pulled out the largest python I’ve ever seen and I lost it.”

Twitter is now “losing it” over Brooks’ enthusiasm. TBH, it’s just so pure and refreshing.

The video has been retweeted nearly 140,000 times — and it’s getting the meme treatment. 

As if the story isn’t adorable enough already, Brooks’ account of the whole thing is priceless. “He pulled out a series of crazy reptiles that were honestly dinosaurs in my opinion,” he said. “Then he pulled out the largest python I’ve ever seen and I lost it.”

Some people were equally impressed by the animals, and they wondered why their zoology classes weren’t this cool. 

It didn’t take long for the memes to start flowing in. 

The newfound Twitter fame has even landed Brooks some A-list followers, including NBA star Stephen Curry. 

Jalen, never lose your sense of wonder. 

jalen
twitter

2016 sucked, but the world is still magical.

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Cop Ignores Guy's Arrest Warrant To Drive Him 100 Miles To Reunite Him With His Family

Whenever you hear distressing news, it’s like the laws of the universe don’t apply to you. When my wife was pregnant, I suddenly became a hyper aware driver; I don’t think I’ve ever made it that fast to the hospital before in my life.

So when Mark Ross found out early Sunday night that his teenage sister tragically died in a car crash, he hopped in a friend’s car and told him to gun it.

Ross didn’t own a car and needed to quickly get from Indiana to Detroit to be there for his family.

Naturally, they were driving fast. And naturally, while driving through Ohio, they got pulled over. Because everyone gets pulled over for speeding in Ohio.


quickmeme

What’s worse is that Ross’ friend was driving with a suspended license, so he was arrested and his car was towed, basically getting screwed over for trying to help his friend out.

Ross worried that he would be arrested too because of a petty warrant, but Michigan officials refused to pick him up because of the distance. Ross then broke down crying.

“I explained to the officer that my sister had died and that I needed to get to my mother ASAP. I broke down crying, and he saw the sincerity in my cry. He reaches over and began praying over me and my family.”

So Sgt. David Robinson of Ohio State Highway state patrol did something amazing. He drove Ross over 100 miles to Detroit to be with his family. Ross was stunned.

“Everybody knows how much I dislike cops, but I am truly grateful for this guy. He gave me hope.”

Officers: more of this and less shooting unarmed people, please.

I just hope there was leniency for Ross’ friend who put his neck on the line trying to do a solid for his buddy.

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