Dad Shares Conversations With His 4 Daughters And They Are Hilarious

Kids are known for being unintentionally hilarious at times. Whether it’s because they don’t have a complete grasp on language yet, or just because they don’t fully understand the world. But in the case of James Breakwell, a comedy writer and father of three girls, it’s probably because his kids have inherited the comedian gene. Breakwell, aka @XplodingUnicorn, shares the hilarious conversations he has with his daughters on Twitter every day, and they’re pure gold. 

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Dragons > math.

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It’s worth it, though.

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Burn.

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They smell.

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Ouch.

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Do you want hyper inflation? Because that’s how you get hyper inflation.

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It’s serious.

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That’s how you get cooties.

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Vegetables are the worst.

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It definitely wasn’t me.

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Nightmare material.

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Not gonna happen.

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Preach, girl.

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She really likes cupcakes.

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We can relate.

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Do we have to do this every morning?!

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Call 911.

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It’s not a very good one.

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Here’s an insight into Easter from a very wise 7-year-old.

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Trust me, teach.

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It’ll be our secret.

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She’s just thinking of you.

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That’s day one information.

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Winner winner chicken dinner.

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Guy Texts His Girlfriend Some Hilarious Ground Rules Before They Watch 'Infinity War' Together

Guy Texts His Girlfriend Some Hilarious Ground Rules Before They Watch ‘Infinity War’ Together

We all have that one movie we really, really want to see. The one we’ve obsessed over for months or sometimes years. We’ve watched the trailers, read all the fan theories, and monitored director changes. Of course we bought pre-sale tickets before post production even began.

Now there’s nothing wrong with going to see that movie alone, but there is usually a special someone you want to tag along that makes the movie watching experience that much more enjoyable.

Just as long as they follow some basic guidelines and protocols, of course.

Usually, those guidelines are unspoken rules and if you have to really spell them out for the friend you’re bringing along to see the movie you-just-can’t-wait-to-see, then chances are they weren’t your first choice to bring with you to watch the film anyway.

However, some people want to be extra, super, specific, clear, and open about what they expect from their movie-watching experience. Like this guy who is very, very, very much looking forward to Marvel’s Infinity War. So much so that he texted his girlfriend an extensive list of ground rules she is expected to adhere to while they watch the movie.

And while they seem excessive, it’s kind of easy to understand why he’d do it. Pretty much all of the Marvel movies that were released since the Edward Norton Hulk film have been leading up to this.

He goes all-in from the first couple of rules. He made it very clear that he doesn’t want the experience tainted by questions or any kind of lovey-dovey business.

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Now those might seem a bit extreme, but they’re easy enough to understand, I hate it when people ask me questions, especially during a movie I’m watching for the first time myself.

But rules 4,5,6 are when the requests get a little over the top. Just a little.

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I mean I get where the guy is coming from, don’t you hate it when you’re excited about something and the person you’re with doesn’t care as much as you do? Here’s hoping his SO is good at faking tears, and having a lawyer handy.

He shows just how serious he is about watching this film with rule #6 though. Mass shootings be damned, he will make it to the end of Infinity War.

But, if she abides, she gets to have her favorite ice cream afterwards. I guess that’s reward enough for subduing a deranged psychopath with a gun, right?

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Some people honestly saw where the guy was coming from.

Other guys were just nodding their heads saying, “yup”.

Joke or not, there were some Twitter users who weren’t tickled pink by the boyfriend’s texts to his boo.

And some had problems with just some of the rules and restrictions.

Still, it seemed like there were more people who thought the man’s demands weren’t all that crazy.

How would you feel if someone invited you for a movie and (half-jokingly) sent over those demands? What would you say?

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Bath Bomb Turns Woman Into A 'Smurf' And The Photos Are Hilarious

Every holiday and birthday, you’re guaranteed to get at least one bath bomb from a relative who had no idea what to get you. Bath bombs are up there with socks in the generic gift category. Apart from turning the bathtub into a slip and slide for the next person who has to use it, they’re a pretty safe gift. 

At least that’s what Twitter user Rebekah Butler probably thought. She recently picked up a galaxy bath bomb from Kroger that she claims had some unintended effects.

Yes, she’s a smurf now. 

In a caption alongside the tweet, Butler claimed that the bath bomb “dyed” her skin. “I was in the bath for a solid 5 minutes and now I am a freaking SMURF,” she added. “So to everyone I snapchat, enjoy looking at my forehead till I am no longer a smurf.”

Butler wrote in a reply that she was shocked at first, but that she quickly got over it. 

And it does seem to be coming off pretty quickly. 

Butler says she’s going to contact Kroger about the bath bomb, and hopefully she’ll keep us all updated. 

People found the incident hilarious, of course. 

As it turns out, there’s a lot of GIFs that are perfect for this situation.

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Woman Makes Museum Exhibits Out Of Roommate's Stuff In Hilarious Prank

Roommates can either be the best or the worst, there’s just no in between. But we’re guessing that Ellen Huet, a writer for Bloomberg, is in the former category.  While two of her roommates were away on a trip, she decided to play a pretty amazing prank on them. 

Huet and the rest of the house grouped together to turn their room into a museum, so that future generations might have some insight on San Francisco life. 

I’m sure this won’t confuse people in the future…

This one could actually pass for the truth. 

Unsurprisingly, people found the photos hilarious. 

Who doesn’t have fun with lamination? 

History nerds were excited. 

Others wanted to pull the prank off themselves. 

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The Reviews For This 12-Foot Beach Ball Are As Hilarious As You Expect

There’s some pretty interesting stuff you can buy on Amazon. And along with them come hilarious reviews from people who have purchased them. The latest review to take the Internet by storm comes from this 12-foot inflatable beach ball, which seems like a pretty solid purchasing decision. 

“Measuring a ridiculous 12 feet from pole to pole, the Beach Behemoth is the largest beach ball you might ever behold,” a description of the ball reads. 

Reid Hamlin was one person who decided to give the ball a go, and after spending an hour inflating it, they seem to be regretting their decision. Their review reads: 

Other people also seemed to run into issues with the ball.

One user decided to take the ball to their son’s graduation party. It did not go well…

Well, that sounds terrifying. It didn’t seem to stop Reddit users from wanting one, though. 

Some want it for a prank. 

Others claim to have spotted the ball. 

Many commenters weren’t put off by the destruction, though. 

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This Woman Is Regretting Buying Something Hilarious At A College Party

We’ve all done something that we’ve regretted in college. But that’s okay, because college is probably the last chance at being young and free that you’re going to get. And over the weekend, Twitter user Annie Swartz of Texas Tech did something that probably seemed like a good idea at the time, and would probably be considered an equally great idea by many people, day or night. 

Swartz is well known for finding all the animals at parties. Whether it be a chicken or a puppy. 

But over the weekend, Swartz went way too far when she found one animal. 

Yes, she purchased a goat. No, she doesn’t still want the goat now that the party is over.

Somehow, this is a relatable tweet for some people. 

Others were just wondering how someone can accidentally buy a goat. Or why this is a problem. 

People really like goats, apparently. 

A lot of people seem to think this will happen to them. 

Would you accidentally buy a goat? 

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Wife's Dying Wish To Husband Ends Up Being A Hilarious Practical Joke

When Phedre Nicol was battling cancer in 2013 at the age of 69, she gave her husband, Nigel, strict instructions should she pass away. Those instructions? Keep watering the plants in their South Africa home. 

And when Phedre lost her battle in the same year, Nigel, now 73, started keeping that promise. And he’s been watering the ferns in their bathroom for years. Though he probably did wonder why there were puddles of water on the floor every time he watered them. 

Fast forward to 2018, and Nigel is moving into a retirement home. The ferns were still in such good shape, that he decided to pack them along with his belongings. Only then did he realize that how wife has been playing a prank on him this entire time. 

Daughter Antonia, a firefighter from London, explained the prank on Twitter…

Yes, Phedre has had Nigel watering plastic for a few years. Antonia explained to The Mirror that no one else was in on the prank…

Antonia explains that her father was so “overcome with grief,” he religiously watered the plants. The couple had apparently always been pranksters…

She goes on to explain what the discovery meant for her father…

And the reaction it got from social media was even more heartwarming. 

Nigel even reenacted the watering of the ferns for his new fans…

To say this is peak relationship goals is an understatement…

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These Women Played Hilarious Pranks On Men Who Creeped Them Online

It seems like there’s no way to stop men as a group from sending unsolicited pics or requesting nudes from women they barely know, but many ladies are taking them on one by one. Anyone faced with online or IRL harassment has strategies for avoiding difficult situations with creepers. Some are merely for safety, but some are also for kicks. If men won’t leave us alone, we should at least get to have some fun. 

Here are some of the creative ways women have figured out how to deal with the weirdoes who won’t take no for an answer—or who don’t even bother asking first.

Or try my favorite move of all: say no, and then block. Extremely satisfying.

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Woman Creates Hilarious Auction Ad For Wedding Dress And People Are In Love

Dealing with a break-up is never easy and people have different coping mechanisms.

Whenever I’ve gone through a split, I found hitting the gym harder than usual and cleaning up my diet helped put me in a good frame of mind. Usually I’m so upset that I don’t want to eat in the first place, and with all of the free time I have, those extra hours I put into working out came easily.

It might not be the healthiest way to cope, despite the obvious benefit of having a trimmer bod, and I probably would’ve had a better time with my break-ups if I had a sense of humor about being dumped or doing the dumping.

Like this New Zealand woman did when she penned a hilariously descriptive Trade Me (like craigslist) post auctioning off her wedding dress, which, as the item description indicates, she did after divorcing her husband.

That’s a pretty savage recap of the relationship and what she thinks of her ex.

As of now, the dress is sitting on a $ 665 AUS bid, and the poster’s unfortunately been forced to make comments on the dress private, as media outlets kept bugging her about the ordeal.

This isn’t the first time women have flocked to private seller sites to offload wedding dresses when their relationships didn’t pan out.

Like this guy was put on blast by his fiance after he allegedly cheated on her. 

Or this other woman who had a zinger for her own relationship in this candid wedding dress advertisement.

Her ex-husband eventually came out and gave his side of the story and the two ended things amicably. In fact, he even praised her blog and and industriousness in turning her own personal heartbreak into a positive.

So it’s nice to see that not all break-ups end with heaping spoonfuls of bitterness and loathing. I mean most of them do, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Right?

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This Guy's Christmas Card 'Hack' Is The Most Hilarious Way To Save Money

The presents are unwrapped, the tree has been thrown on the curb, and life continues into the new year until next holiday season. But between now and then there are a whole lot of other holidays and special occasions to be celebrated. If you’re the sort to send cards, you’re probably looking for the perfect illustration and sentiment to convey your feelings via the U.S. Postal Service.

But Twitter user Joe Heenan has another idea. Just use whatever you got! Heenan shared his altered Christmas cards that have been spruced up with nothing more than a black marker and some ideas. It’s a very economical way to celebrate the people you love in life:

Perfect for any occasion—except you should know, Joe, that same sex marriage is just called marriage now, especially if you’re congratulating somebody! But otherwise, a total hit:

A few people even had their own examples:

A wood burner is really reaching, but why not find all sorts of things to celebrate? Goodness knows I have enough unused cards lying around.

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