BRB, Nutella Is Now Hiring Taste Testers at Its Factory in Italy

There’s no such thing as a perfect jo— or is there? Nutella is now looking for taste testers to come to their factory in Northern Italy and get paid to eat the addicting chocolate hazelnut spread. 

The Ferrero Company is looking for 60 taste testers to be exact, and the part-time position will require four hours of Nutella eating weekly, which can be spread out over the course of two days (pun intended). A competitive salary is also included for the gig and the best part: no experience necessary. The only requirements are that candidates not have allergies and are familiar with using a computer. 

Here is the complete job listing, which was originally posted on Openjobmetis: 

We are looking for people who would like to learn how to taste cocoa, hazelnut grains, and other semi-finished sweet products.

A paid training course (beginning in September and lasting three months) will aim to educate the sense of smell and taste and improve the ability to express in words what will be perceived with the tasting of semi-finished products.

At the end of the course, candidates deemed suitable will be hired with a long-term supply contract with a part-time commitment of two days per week of two hours.

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We're not even sorry.

So, where can you sign up? If you’re willing to relocate to their headquarters in Alba, Piedmont to work in the adult version of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, the chosen ones will start on September 30. Candidates will first undergo a three-month course to hone their senses of taste and smell, according to La Reppublica. After that, the top 40 will make up two tasting panels of judges. 

So, in a nutshell, Nutella needs candidates who aren’t highly educated in nutrition or taste to spend two days a week tasting their products — and get paid for it. We can bet there will be no shortage of aspiring employees (because who doesn’t love Nutella). Employers need only to look on Twitter for a handful of qualified and willing participants. 

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This isn’t the only dream job that has popped up recently that validates our love of junk food.  Remember when a discount retailer in the UK was hiring for a “Chicken Nugget Connoisseur,” to taste test their range of frozen food products? Or when Doritos was looking for an in-house taste tester and “superfan” abroad to eat and pitch ideas for new creations?  

“We know our fans are like no other and are bold enough to prove their loyalty to the temple of tortilla,” the company wrote at the time. “We want to reward this dedication which is why we’re offering up one year’s bragging rights to the most devoted Doritos Superfan in the UK. This prestigious honor offers a once in a lifetime opportunity to be at the forefront of the crunch revolution.” 

However, there were some requirements for the job including but limited to, a minimum 2 years Doritos-eating experience and the ability to eat well under pressure. 

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New Yorker Cartoon Perfectly Illustrates The Hiring Cycle In Trump’s White House

The New Yorker is one of our most respected publications, and for good reason — they occasionally foretell the future.

Case in point: 

On Wednesday, they published this brutally satirical cartoon:

Then, in accordance with the prophesies, it came brutally true.

Within just a day or two, we learned that White House Chief of Staff, Reince Priebus, widely seen as among Trump’s trusted inner circle, was let go following a blow up between him and the new White House Communications Director, seen below sizing Priebus up in the Oval Office.

Praise for the clairvoyant cartoon flooded the comments on Instagram.

Start the clock. We anxiously await The New Yorker’s inevitable next piece of illustrative clairvoyance.

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These Guys Are Hiring A 'BBQ Dad' From Craigslist For Their Summer Parties

With summer holidays coming up, you’ll be going to a lot of barbecues. Hopefully, your dad, or another dad you know, will be manning the grill at said barbecue in order to tinge the meat with that perfect dad char—but if not, make like a couple of 20-something Spokane, Washington jokesters and try to hire a “BBQ Dad” over Craigslist.

The post has been deleted, but to help these guys get their barbecue dad, we will happily reprint what the ad says here:

While most of us know how to operate a grill, none of us are prepared to fill the role of ‘BBQ Dad.’

The party will take place June 17th from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.

What does a “BBQ Dad” do, exactly? Duties include:

Grilling hamburgers and hot dogs (whilst drinking beer, of course)

Bringing your own grill (subject to change, but meat will be provided by party planners)

Referring to attendees as Big Guy, Chief, Sport, Champ, etc.

Talk about dad things like lawnmowers, building your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc.

The perfect candidate will meet the following qualifications:

A minimum of 18 years experience as a father

A minimum of 10 years grilling experience

An appreciation of cold beer on a hot summer day

*Bonus points if your name is Bill, Randy or Dave.

Apparently, the guys who put up this ad have already received some job applications from BBQ Dad-wannabes. “His name is Jerry but he said we can call him Dave or Bill,” one of the Craigslist posters told a local news outlet. “There was one guy Stan who sent us a message but then he stopped replying.” But they’re really holding out for Bill Murray, who honestly would probably do this…This seems like his kind of thing.

Also, in case you’re wondering, according to the Huffington Post, these pranksters would like to be identified as “The Boys,” and they found the photo that they used in the ad by picking one of the first things that came up when they put “grill dad” into Google Image search. Their post went so viral that they eventually met the guy from the image.

Their stock photo grill dad is perfect, but all of the image search results truly speak to me.

 Regardless of age, creed, or polo shirt color, all dads love the grill.

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Trump Supporters Are Boycotting Starbucks For Hiring Refugees And Twitter Can't Stop Roasting Them

Following President Trump’s executive order banning immigrants and refugees from several Muslim-majority countries, outraged businesses have voiced their opposition to what they believe to be a discriminatory and damaging policy. Lyft, for example, pledged to donate $ 1 million to the ACLU over the next four years, and executives at Netflix, Apple, and Facebook have spoken out condemning the policy — citing adverse impacts on their companies’ talent pool. 

Starbucks is the most recent business to join the resistance to the immigration ban. On Sunday, CEO Howard Schultz announced that the coffee giant is committed to hiring 10,000 refugees at store locations worldwide

Starbucks Reports Sharp Increase In Quarterly Profits
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“We are developing plans to hire 10,000 [refugees] over five years in the 75 countries around the world where Starbucks does business,” Schultz wrote in a statement released to Starbucks employees. “And we will start this effort here in the U.S. by making the initial focus of our hiring efforts on those individuals who have served with U.S. troops as interpreters and support personnel.”

Many Trump supporters, furious about the company’s decision, took to Twitter to encourage Americans to boycott Starbucks. 

The anti-Starbucks messages ranged from outrage over the hiring of refugees over veterans to fear that refugees would actually poison the coffee. 

Starbucks supporters, however, are roasting the hell out of the boycotters — criticizing their logic and bigotry. 

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19 People Reveal Their Experiences Hiring An Escort

Most people are sexual beings, and we all get needs from time to time. And thanks for the internet and a little site called Backpage, hiring an escort is pretty easy. Now getting the actual person in the ad is always touch and go. You think you’re calling over a George Clooney looking dude and you end up with George Clooney if he was addicted to meth and ripped all his glorious hair out.

All of the politics of escorts aside (human trafficking is a disgusting business), if you’ve ever thought of hiring a prostitute to help you take care of your urges, you may want to hear these confessions from these people who’ve already enlisted the services of hired help.

  1. I had sex with a prostitute yesterday and it was the best sex I
  2. first time with an escort.. paid up front but was too nervous and couldnt finish... fml
  3. I hired an escort and we had sex. Afterwards she gave me my money back and her phone number, then told me "do me more often, and it
  4. I just had sex with a hooker now I feel really bad :( felt good though :)
  5. I hired a hooker to go out with me for valentine
  6. I paid for time with an escort even though I really can
  7. I slept with a prostitute and Im not sure if I should tell my girlfriend :/
  8. I hired an escort. After we had sex I didn
  9. I slept with a prostitute again today. So disgusting! So disappointing :(
  10. I slept with a prostitute... my wife chose her
  11. I had sex with a hooker then had sex with my best friend after
  12. I once hired an escort only to find out it was a friend of mine. We still had sex.
  13. My first kiss and sex was with an escort. That will be forever in my mind.
  14. Years ago when I was in Amsterdam I paid for a prostitute. I was so creeped out by what I was doing I couldn
  15. I spend a wonderful hour with an escort today. Judge me but it
  16. Last night, I had sex with a prostitute before coming home to my wife. I kissed my wife with the hooker still on my lips.
  17. I hired an escort. I thought I would regret it but I don
  18. I hired a prostitute to have a three way with me and my wife.... on our wedding night.
  19. Just had sex with an escort for the first time. Least erotic orgasms I

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