Sammi Won't Be Returning To MTV's Jersey Shore Reunion–And Now We Know Why

The Jersey Shore is returning to TV, with everyone on it a little older and a little wiser. But it will probably still be an entertaining TV show:

But announcements about the returning cast had fans baffled. Where was Sammi Sweetheart on the list?

Well, according toUS Weekly, Sammi is living her best life as a person who already got rich off her first reality TV show and was not interested in subjecting herself to the drama again, especially in regards to her ex, Ronnie.

“Everyone was invited to come on the show but Sammi was the only one who didn’t want to. A big reason for that was because she didn’t want to be around Ronnie,” said a source. “She has been enjoying her life off of TV and didn’t want to change that.”

That totally makes sense, and kudos to her, but everyone is still really, really disappointed that the show’s central drama would be missing from the reboot:

Ronnie responded with surprising respect in a statement:

“I made a decision and she made a decision, there’s nothing I can really say about that,” he told TooFab. “It’s something she chose to do and it’s her choice. So you know, as someone who was around her forever, you gotta respect that. We all respect that and we just wish her the best. If she’s happy and she’s in an amazing place, God bless her, and we all really do just wish her the best and nothing but good things for her.”

Okay. Very mature. But…but:

Who will tell Ronnie to stop?!

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Michael Bay To Produce Live-Action 'Dora The Explorer' And We Don't Know How To Feel

Everything about Michael Bay movies screams machismo in my opinion. Models, cars, explosions, and models working on cars before exploding. That’s why his upcoming project is such a surprise. He’s producing the live-action Dora The Explorer movie. 

Not much is known about the project at this point but is is rumored to star a teenage Dora as she moves to the city with her cousin, Deigo. The movie is set to be written by Nick Stoller, who directed The Muppets, which might be the only thing that makes sense so far. 

The adaptation is scheduled to be released in 2019 but already the internet is wondering what this thing will look like. 

While there are still a lot of unknowns about this project I think there is one thing we can safely count on. 

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This Blogger Is Advocating For 'Sperm Smoothies' And We Don't Know How To Feel About It

In a world dominated by health experts, bloggers, and Instagram influencers endorsing ‘fit teas,’ it’s hard to know which health products to trust. We’ve been burned by one too many disgusting green shakes to blindly place our trust in health gurus. 

That said, we’re always intrigued by the newest health craze. And this woman has a recommendation that has certainly piqued our interest. 

29-year-old Tracy Kiss, a single mom, blogger, and personal trainer, is advocating for something a little more “out there” than your typical green smoothie: the sperm smoothie. 

That secret recipe she teases? The main ingredient is manly goodness, apparently. 

According to The Sun, Kiss “mixes the semen with fruit, seeds, coconut or almond milk – but is also happy to drink it on its own.”

We have a lot of questions. First of all, what does it taste like?

“Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating,” she reports. “He,” being her sperm donor, a healthy (and generous) friend who independently harvests and delivers his semen weekly. Don’t worry, he gets STI-tested regularly. 

Now, back to our main concern: why do this???

Well, Kiss contends that the, uh, all-natural smoothie can fend off viruses — and she drinks it every day. 

“I’d been feeling run down and had no energy but now I’m full of beans and my mood has improved,” she told Closer Magazine

It seems worth noting that a doctor interviewed for The Sun’s article insists that “there is absolutely no nutritional value to semen,” and perhaps vegans should seek out protein in traditional sources. 

But that isn’t about to stop Kiss, who, to her credit, is curious what her readers think about the practice. 

Using semen for nutritional purposes is nothing new to Kiss’ routine. She made waves for promoting her nonsexual ‘semen facial’ in 2014. 

She’s since defended the practice to Vice:

In relationships, you put fingers in holes, you taste things, and you don’t see it as cringeworthy. But when you take away the passion and say it’s scientific, people don’t like it.

A fair point, but we’ll wait until the real science comes through before we start looking for donors for this week’s health shake. 

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The 20 Best Mannequin Challenges You Didn't Know You Needed

As you may have noticed over the last few days, the #MannequinChallenge has taken over the Internet. 

High schools, sports teams, celebrities, friends groups, and even cats are staging freeze-frame scenes that make for some epic short videos. 

Granted, it began as another weird high school trend that we didn’t understand, but people have come up with pretty impressive videos since. 

Here are some of the best Mannequin Challenge videos that you never asked for, but desperately need, in your life:

  1. Destiny’s Child even reunited to bring us this gem.


    A video posted by kellyrowland (@kellyrowland) on

  2. This cheerleading squad dominated the challenge with their upper body strength.

  3. The St. Louis Blues showed off their impressive balance.

    The Blues’ mannequin challenge though…

  4. The New York Giants celebrated their big win.

  5. TCU football also did a victory challenge.

  6. Kevin Hart and his gym buddies slayed.

  7. And this very dedicated cat even took part in the fun.

  8. West Point’s gymnastics team dominated.

  9. And these volunteers made us hungry.

  10. These guys took the challenge to a whole new level.

  11. The Dallas Cowboys got in on the fun on their plane flight home.

  12. And an entire concert managed to keep still.

  13. One video needed a little musical improvisation.

  14. And one didn’t even need people at all.

  15. This entire high school participated.

  16. And this badass pole dancing class rocked it.

  17. This art class had no problem getting creative.

  18. Diplo’s attempt was pretty epic.

  19. This dance class was a real crowd pleaser.

  20. And an entire arena of fans pulled it off.

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This Mom Wrote A Hilarious List Of 20 Things You Should Know Before 'Pushing Out A Baby'

Having your first baby is an exhilarating experience until you realize that you have to look after the thing for the rest of your life and sleep is but a distant memory. 

Bekki Pope is a mom and blogger who runs the Facebook page and she’s got some experience in the whole baby thing. So for all the novices, she decided to write a list entitled “20 things to know when you’ve just pushed out a baby,” and it’s pretty damn hilarious. 

1. The after pains. Pain. After. Who knew? When God designed women to give birth, he well and truly screwed us over….

2. Your first wee. Take a jug with you and pour it over your bits like you’re trying to be a star in some very disturbing porno. It helps.

3.. Your first poo. Do not panic. You are not having another baby. It just feels that way. But just remember the size of the thing you pushed out of the front bit, and the prospect of pushing out what’s in the back bit won’t be quite so daunting. Your bum is not falling out. Or it might be. If you have piles. Which you probably do…

4. Your baby looks weird. Like… Really weird. ‘Oh how cute/such a beautiful baby’ etc will be said at you and you’ll accept other people’s opinions, but to you it looks like a hairless slightly purple old grandad with dried blood and skin stuck to its wrinkly face.

5. Their downstairs bits are ridiculous. You will worry about the impact they will have on their lives should they stay like that. Boys little nuggets are the size of whole walnut whips, but their willies are the size of the walnuts on the top that nobody wants. Apparently this ‘swelling’ goes down soon. If it doesn’t, expect ‘big bollocks’ to be part of your sons school nickname.

6. Their first poo is not actually poo. It’s tar. The midwives sneak in over night, fill your baby’s nappy with treacle and then test you to see if you know to get rid of it, or to see if you decide to take one look at it and start googling ‘why do nappies come pre-filled with marmite?’

7. Your first shower will be like a scene from Carrie. It’s normal. It may feel like you’ll never be right again and that you’ll walk like John Wayne forever, and you might, but you’ll feel so much better for the shower. You’re literally washing away your sins. (If the baby was born out of wedlock anyway….)

8. Midwives like babies. They will come and pick yours up with no prior warning. They will squeeze their testicles, massage their tummies to make them crap, and fiddle with their face so much you’re sure the baby looks like it’s had botox when they give it back.

9. Your baby hates you. It’s not crying. It’s communicating with its master- the devil- about how successful their plan to destroy you is going. Seriously – it doesn’t actually hate you. It may seem like it never cries when anyone else holds it or that it enjoys keeping you up all night, but really, it is so dependant on you it’s embarrassing. Human babies are embarrassing.

10. You will say the word ‘latch’ more than you have ever said it in your life. And the idea of a tiny person casually sucking on your nipples suddenly becomes a reality. At this moment, you will feel like an actual proper mum.
And a cow.

11. There are people in hospital that can smell your vulnerability. They will take photos of your baby looking cute and then try and charge you a million pounds for it. They will scroll through the 50 photos they’ve taken of your baby in the same position, asking you to choose your favourites. and if you’ve got a partner like mine, that means you will have to re-mortgage your house by the time he’s done…

12. The hospital food is as bad as it is so that people decide they would rather be in pain and at home than eating ‘peaches and custard’. The custard is hot wee with a splash of breast milk mixed in, and the peaches are body parts that have been soaked in sugar over night. And don’t eat the chocolate mousse. Just don’t.

13. It farts. It burps. It hiccups. It makes weird noises in its sleep that make you think you’re going to wake up and see Chucky in the cot- head spinning and laughing. You hope people know it’s the baby and not you. Not that you’d know if you were farting. Your sphincter muscle control is somewhat lacking at the moment.

14. Everyone you’ve ever met will want to come to the hospital to see you. People get overexcited about visiting hospitals. They feel VIP when they walk in to a ward. You are a VIP- a very in-pain person. And you look and feel like death. So only accept visitors if you are up to it. You’re still so high on drugs that making conversation with adults is like trying to sieve flour with a fishing net. Everything just pours out of you and none of the shit is stopped getting through…

15. Your tummy is now resembling a balloon that’s slowly deflating and feeling very sorry for itself. If you press it, you instantly conclude that it would make a fantastic trampoline for Stuart Little. Or that if you sliced it up right now, the hospital kitchen staff would use it and palm it off as nectarine jelly..

16. They want you on contraception straight away. Countless midwives will come and talk to you about how fertile you are and how likely you are to become pregnant again. They do however forget one crucial thing- you’re never having sex again. You never want to see a penis again. And if one comes near you, you’ll most likely destroy it for the sake of women everywhere. The end.

17. Everything’s angry. Your brain is angry, your eyes are angry, your tummy, your bladder, your bum. Your vagina isn’t angry. It’s f@&king livid. Give it a while to calm down but right now, you and she ain’t friends…

18. People ask you if your milk has come in yet, and you half expect somebody dressed in a cravendale costume to waltz through the door and stay with you forever, handing you milk as and when your baby needs it. Not true. What actually happens is that, about 3 days in, your boobs start to leak like they have forgotten they are breasts and now believe they are garden sprinklers. Whose garden you don’t know, but at the rate they start pouring out it must be the Queen’s…

19. They want you to go home ASAP. You are taking up valuable bed space and now you have delivered your stinky human bundle and they’ve checked it over to make sure it isn’t a live Picasso painting, you’re free to leave. Don’t. Not until you’re ready. Get all the help and advice you need before going home. Because once you’re at home, your baby is expecting you to know what you’re doing and you’ll wish you’d stayed longer at the hospital. If to only delay the car seat fiasco a little longer…

20. Stop worrying. You’re not superwoman. There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as perfect. You are your baby’s normal. You are your baby’s perfect. They aren’t judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It’s a piece of ‘oh my god I can’t do this’. You can. And everyday will get easier. Breath mummy.
You just grew and pushed out a mini Mitchell brother. There’s nothing you can’t do.

Except sleep.
You can’t do that anymore.

Pope’s list was pretty relatable, earning 80,000 shares and thousands of comments from other moms. 

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'Making A Murderer' Is Getting A Second Season, Here's Everything We Know

Remember earlier this year when everyone was losing their minds over Making A Murderer? Well, Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey are about to make a return. Netflix has confirmed that season 2 is currently in production. 

The new episodes will feature Avery’s new lawyer Kathleen Zellner as she takes on the case. In a statement, show runners Laura Ricciardi and Moira Demos said:

“We are extremely grateful for the tremendous response to, and support of, the series.

“The viewers’ interest and attention has ensured that the story is not over, and we are fully committed to continuing to document events as they unfold.”

There’s no word on when it will be released, or how many episodes we’ll get, so we’re just going to have to wait patiently for that. 

If you’ve forgotten the facts, here’s a quick run down. In 1985, Avery was wrongfully imprisoned for 18 years for sexual assault. He was set free in 2003 after advances proved that it was another man. But he Dassey were quickly accused and found guilty of murdering 25-year-old Teresa Halbach. 

Many believe that they were set up by police in Manitowoc County, Wisconsin, to avoid a $ 36 million lawsuit for the wrongful conviction. You can read more about that here

Fans are understandably excited by the show’s return…

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J.K. Rowling Told Us Everything We Need To Know About The American Wizarding School

In anticipation for the upcoming Fantastic Beasts, J.K. Rowling has written some background to the American School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Ilvermorny.

The houses for Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are each named after the favorite magical creature of the family members who founded the school. While we don’t yet know the complete personality profiles of each house, here they are: 

Wampus, which “favors warriors.”


One of two sons, Webster Boot, chose Wampus, because he was “argumentative but fiercely loyal.”


Horned Serpent, which “favors scholars.”


Mother to the family Isolt Sayre chose the Horned Serpent because she felt a kinship with the creature.

Pukwudgie, which “favors healers.”


The father of the family, James Steward, chose the Pukwudgie because Isolt made a joke about one once. Classic dad move. 

And Thunderbird, which “favors adventurers.”


The second brother, Chadwick Boot, chose Thunderbird, because they were “intelligent but often temperamental.”

The complete history of the school is here, but summarized the best snippets below:

Isolt was born in around 1603 and fled Ireland for America to escape her abusive aunt, Gormlaith Gaunt. The Gaunts are ancestors of Voldemort. 

In America she met James Steward, a muggle who saw her using magic. She had planned to kill Steward, but they instead fell in love and adopted two orphaned magical boys, Chadwick and Webster.

Isolt set up Ilvermorny for magical children and named it after her childhood home in Ireland. 

Ilvermorny runs in a similar fashion to Hogwarts because Isolt had read about the school in England. 

At one point, Isolt discovers that her wand belonged to Salazar Slytherin and contained basilisk horn. They buried the wand, but it soon sprouted a snakewood tree.

The robes of the school are blue and cranberry because Isolt wanted to be in Ravenclaw as a child and James loved cranberry pie. 

And yes, you can get sorted into your own Ilvermorny house if you don’t fancy going to Hogwarts after Brexit. 

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This Harry Potter Tattoo Can Only Be Seen If You Know The Magic Secret

There is an epic collection of Harry Potter tattoos in the world. The genre is like fan fiction that people permanently etch on their skin. Most are pretty beautiful, but still a lot to carry around with you forever. Like, Emma Watson is gorgeous, but do you want to be the canvas for her face?

Some of these tattoos are just simple and elegant nods to the popular series:

Some are…some are frightening. I’m just going to say that these scare me, though I fully support the right to do whatever you want with your bod:

Having seen the full gamut of what people can do, I didn’t expect to be surprised by anything new in the world of fan tattoos. Reddit user Littlefart (tee hee) has change that with this post:

Reddit: LittleFart

If you can’t tell from the picture, the only way to read the sentence, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” is by putting the tattoo under a blacklight. Then they magically glow. It’s really a Marauder’s Map with a secret code.

There is some back-and-forth argument in the comments about whether or not luminescent inks are safe for tattoos, but one commenter sums up my feelings about it:

Life is risk, baby! Get the goofy tattoo you want today, especially if you’re already up to no good. [h/t Someecards]

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