These Recipes From Kids Will Make Your Stomach Hurt From Laughing

Kids say the darndest things and cannot be trusted with fire, so they make bad people to follow in the kitchen. But we still love hearing their ideas about food, because they’re so imaginative. Food is more a supply from the craft store than something you would eat.

This is dangerous for the digestive system but good for laughs. Twitter user Jordan Adams shared a cookbook from his nephew’s pre-k class, and they’re the perfect example of the delirious minds that want to serve you actual mud pies:

Ethan’s Eggs sound delicious, but they are missing one key ingredient: eggs.

Ariana’s Macaroni involves time at the pool, which I am on board with.

Joe’s Tacos took a really fast turn. He does NOT want tacos.

And Sebastian’s Pancakes sound delicious, but they’re pretty pricey:

Though they would never eat any of these recipes in a million years, people love them:

And find them pretty relatable, actually:

It’s like demented Ratatouille in here.

Getting recipes from kids is a pretty common thing, because it’s always funny. Some people shared their own weirdo recipes from school, which they’ve held onto all these years in case they want to give themselves food poisoning someday:

Maybe even on Thanksgiving:

And teachers everywhere love compiling them:

We need them!

Keep me laughing, kids, as I eat this boring sandwich that is made with bread instead of two skateboards, or something.

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People Can't Stop Laughing At How Ridiculous Their Pets Look When They're Sleeping

One of the things I admire most about my cats is their ability to sleep anywhere—on the bed, behind the toilet, draped over the shoe I’ve been looking for for the last twenty minutes. They just have the capacity for bone deep relaxation. And sometimes it looks really, really weird.

A popular Japanese hashtag that loosely translates to “be an untidy sleeper” is circulating on Twitter right now, and it shows just how freaky animals get when they’re chasing that REM sleep:

These animals are all supposedly okay. They’re just ridiculous, not in comas. But if you saw a person looking like this on the couch, you’d scream:

This rabbit food was set to stun (I checked, the rabbit on this person’s timeline is FINE):

Animals don’t care where they land:

Or if they’re scaring the crap out of you:

Or what corner of the cage they’re crammed into:

But, again, they’re okay!!

Even if it seems like they’re trying NOT to be okay:

And then, in the snap of your fingers, they’re ready to play again.

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Everyone Is Laughing At Guy Who Stared At Girl's Honey Buns Too Long

Wes, or @foxmccloud82, is a Twitter user who has a very awkward way with the ladies. He recently shared a conversation with a woman from his class—it seems like they have been assigned as partners for a project, and she’s a little suspicious of his interest in her:

According to the text exchange, she thinks he was giving her the eyes in class even though he’s got “a girl.” 

He has denied it with the strongest language and with the weirdest excuse: he was just looking at her honey buns. 

Ahh, the old Honey Bun Excuse. Well, he makes a compelling case.

At the very least, this story is extremely relatable. Everyone has salivated over a honey bun in their life:

Personally, I don’t think anyone owes you a honey bun. If I see someone walk in with three, I assume it’s because they need three. I don’t need to know why. But folks are still offended on his behalf:

Though some are genuinely curious about his actual girlfriend. What does she think about this story?

Wes is famous, regardless of how true his story was, and no one has thought about honey buns this much in ages. Great viral marketing campaign:

Wes seems to not exactly have the smoothest way with the ladies, in general.

Maybe he should consider handing out pastries?

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Man Shares Awkward Photo Of President Trump At Turkey Pardoning–And We Can't Stop Laughing

On Tuesday, Donald Trump held that bizarre annual pre-Thanksgiving tradition that is the pardoning of the turkey.

David Mack, a writer for Buzzfeed News, made the event way more entertaining when he posted this photo on Twitter:

His followers were quick to jump in.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all.

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Actor Jason Segel Is Taking Photos Next To Small Doors And People Can't Stop Laughing

It’s hard to say exactly where actor Jason Segel is right now. I’m guessing Europe. Maybe England or Belgium. Somewhere that a lot of house were built hundreds and hundreds of years ago, where being tall meant breaking five feet. At 6’4″, Segel isn’t going to fit into any of these tiny doors without bending over, but the pics he’s been taking of his wanderings through Tiny Towns are amazing:

When a bit is good, it’s good:

What a great series! We’re really hoping it continues throughout whatever vacation or shoot he is on, but all of Segel’s photos are pretty good. 

Here he is looking small, for once, next to this giant artichoke:

But the doors are the big hit:

And all the How I Met Your Mother gifs we can handle:

Marshall did hang around a lot of doors, come to think of it.

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Jesus Lookalike Perfectly Trolls Anti-Gay Protesters And Twitter Can't Stop Laughing

A Jesus lookalike is doing God’s work and putting homophobes in their place. He arrived at an anti-LGBTQ rally this past Thursday, July 20th, with a customized sign making it clear how he felt about the entire situation. He really nailed it:

It turns out the picture was taken in during a PRIDE parade in Seoul, South Korea!

Just like a real Jesus, this lookalike was all about spreading the love. Good job, sir – continue shutting down hate with your tolerance and caring! 

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People Are Sharing Things That Santa Once Told Them And We Can't Stop Laughing

This year has been a long year, and with Christmas coming up, we’re finally winding things down with last minute holiday shopping and improvised travel plans with people named Lauren that still have no idea what it means to pack their things ahead of time so we can leave on time, but that’s beside the point.

While the rest of us responsible travelers were sitting around and waiting for everyone else to make this holiday weekend the stress-fest we knew it would be, the #SantaOnceToldMe hashtag surfaced and people used it to share some holiday cheer. And jeers because, you know, it’s the internet, but mainly cheer. Check them out.

  1. Let’s start off with something positive

  2. Here’s the Twitter we know and love

  3. Mind = Blown

  4. All we ever did was wreck him.

  5. Last minute tip:

  6. We’ve all had our suspicions

  7. Oof

  8. Also explains why he doesn’t mind the cold

  9. I guess cashew milk will have to do

  10. Well that’s a little different

  11. Hmph

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