Sammi Won't Be Returning To MTV's Jersey Shore Reunion–And Now We Know Why

The Jersey Shore is returning to TV, with everyone on it a little older and a little wiser. But it will probably still be an entertaining TV show:

But announcements about the returning cast had fans baffled. Where was Sammi Sweetheart on the list?

Well, according toUS Weekly, Sammi is living her best life as a person who already got rich off her first reality TV show and was not interested in subjecting herself to the drama again, especially in regards to her ex, Ronnie.

“Everyone was invited to come on the show but Sammi was the only one who didn’t want to. A big reason for that was because she didn’t want to be around Ronnie,” said a source. “She has been enjoying her life off of TV and didn’t want to change that.”

That totally makes sense, and kudos to her, but everyone is still really, really disappointed that the show’s central drama would be missing from the reboot:

Ronnie responded with surprising respect in a statement:

“I made a decision and she made a decision, there’s nothing I can really say about that,” he told TooFab. “It’s something she chose to do and it’s her choice. So you know, as someone who was around her forever, you gotta respect that. We all respect that and we just wish her the best. If she’s happy and she’s in an amazing place, God bless her, and we all really do just wish her the best and nothing but good things for her.”

Okay. Very mature. But…but:

Who will tell Ronnie to stop?!

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There's Now A Tumblr For Every Contestant From MTV's 'Next'

Lane Moore is a comedian who is famous for her Tumblr collections, like Male Feminists of Instagram. Somewhat obsessed with romance and dating, it seems obvious that she’d be attracted to the early reality TV show Next, a show where sexy singles basically Tinder swiped each other before such a thing existed. Except it was in person. On MTV. 

Why would anyone subject themselves to such a situation? Probably so that years later, someone could remind them what their three “interesting” facts about themselves were:

In an email with Distractify, Moore explained why she took on the daunting task of screen-capping all these lonely hearts for her new Tumblr collection, “Hotties of MTV’s Next,” 

“I’ve always loved shows like Blind Date and Next so much. I grew up on them. In late 2015, I started rewatching Next obsessively and I’d forgotten how incredible those three facts on there were and started posting some clips on Vine, etc. It was a show I forgot I loved and I wanted to remind others of its joy. 

Whoever took that interview with the daters and boiled it down to like ‘loves bees named Gabe, wet himself at his mom’s wedding two years ago, wants kids’ is an unsung hero. I can’t wait to post the like 200 screen caps I have.”

She’s right. They’re glorious.

After reading so many of those in a row, I’m starting to suspect the producers of Next didn’t actually want to help these kids find love! You can watch an episode below and decide if this was all for our entertainment or not:

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