This Guy Posts Fake Ads All Over His Neighborhood And They're Hilarious

The Internet is full of trolls, but some very special people get away from their computers and go out to their communities to troll their neighbors in real life, the way people did before technology took over. Artist and comedian Alan Wagner is just such a genius, and though his images do eventually find their way onto his Instagram account, they’re meant to baffle casual strollers who encounter them out in the world.

Wagner seems to use a mix of found images and visuals he creates with Photoshop. His graphic design skills range from hand-written scrawls to old-school typography that makes his signs and advertisements look like they were ripped out of a psychopath’s textbook published in 1986. In other words, they’re perfect.

Take, for example, this extremely creepy ad for blood removal that specifies the service will deal with no other bodily fluids:

How about discovering your destiny through your kneecap?

He also files missing person’s reports. In this case, he’s found someone’s missing person.

Here’s a sign helping the elderly become even older:

Here’s a normal dog and trombone exchange. Oh wait, it’s the “trobmone,” actually:

Some of these ads are a pretty big commitment, like this one on the side of a bus stop:

But they’re all useful. Who doesn’t need a car impersonator to enliven a party?

Maybe you’ve always wanted to meet a woman who breathes dust, if just to convince her to stop:

Some are a bit NSFW:

Or tell a really compelling two-part story:

Stories of lost love and wasted food product:

And family dramas:

There’s also attempts at product-testing on the cheap:

And some run-of-the-mill health issues:

Even though they’re all jokes, Wagner really has thought of something for everyone. He will tap into your deepest nightmares and make them very, very funny.

Mother’s milk for good Internet boys and girls.

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Everyone Is Looking For This Man Who Had A Complete Meltdown Over People Speaking Spanish

Everyone Is Looking For This Man Who Had A Complete Meltdown Over People Speaking Spanish

With Donald Trump in office, discrimination and violence is on the rise. In fact, a lot of it is government-funded. The Immigration and Customs Enforcement office have hugely increased arrests since he took office, entering schools, homeless shelters, domestic violence court cases, hospitals. This viral video horrifying people shows what happens when a huge Trump supporter thinks he can turn the power ICE has to destroy people’s lives to his own petty uses.

Activist Shaun King shared a video taken at a Fresh Kitchen in midtown Manhattan of a man having a total meltdown because two workers were speaking to one another in Spanish. 

He escalates into saying they’re probably undocumented and supported via his tax dollars by welfare. Yes, they’re clearly employed, but this racist won’t be defeated by logic. 

He then threatens to call ICE on them, again, for the “crime” of speaking a second language. He tops it all off by calling one of the women fat.

The video is horrifying for so many reasons, it’s hard to choose just one.

But it didn’t take long for the dude to be discovered. King alleges that the man is an attorney named Aaron Schlossberg, and his day just took a turn.

RIP your mentions.

This sort of viral fame isn’t great for business, either.

A lot of people were reminded of the recent video of a white woman who called the police on a group of black people barbecuing food in Oakland.

Some people said they were surprised that someone who lives in Manhattan could be so shocked and horrified by someone speaking Spanish, but racism is everywhere:

The man in question has possibly ripped the phone cord out of the wall by now, since he may have an anger-management problem. Yet, he’s still safer than all of the men, women, and children in the hands of ICE. And that’s Trump’s America.

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People Can't Get Over The $168 Price Of These 'Extreme Cut Out Jeans'

I never got the idea of walking around in jeans with holes in them.

Maybe I don’t get fashion or style, maybe it’s because I’m the child of immigrants who were very concerned with not looking shabby. But whenever I’d watch Beverly Hills 90210 and I’d see a character rocking ripped denim, I would say to myself, “What is wrong with them? Do they think that looks cool?”

And maybe there is something to be said about the “rough and tumble” look. 

I’d argue that the above person would probably look great in everything (great abs), but I could get some pants with a little bit of a tear in them.

But apparently, people need more holes. Like, a lot more holes. Which may be why Carmar debuted their “Extreme Cut Out Jean.”

Described as a “high rise pant with large statement cutouts on front and back,” these jeans look like you decked out your washing machine with razor blades and tossed a pair of Levis in there.

Not only do these bad boys not cover up any major part of your body and you’re apparently required to wear a one-piece bathing suit “underneath” it, they also cost a whopping $ 168.

Now you might say to yourself, “Well, the sides of these pants must surely offer some level of protection against the elements?”

But they don’t.

And if the sides don’t offer up any protection, then surely, surely, surely the back of the pants might offer up a buffer against wind and rain?

No such luck. Just a whole lot of exposed booty. 

One would ever argue that these loose, thin strips of cloth make these things annoying and dangerous to wear. They can easily get snagged on things, trapped in subway doors, handles, gate hooks. I mean what if a cat sees this strip of cloth and thinks it’s a toy?

People roasted the jeans after seeing them pop up online.

Maybe you could wear these things to the beach for some reason…I guess?

But $ 168 for them?! Really?!

I mean I guess there are some functional benefits to wearing these.

But it’s easy to see why so many people hate them.

People are having a hard time to even figure out how to wear these.

In what situation could anyone wear these $ 50 trousers? If it’s a sunny day, then you’re going to get weird tan lines on your legs as a result, plus your butt will be sweaty from having fabric clinging to it all day. If it’s a bit cold, then you’ll be freezing because half of your legs will be exposed.

I’m starting to think that designers intentionally create stuff like this to give themselves some brand recognition, because it’s hard to believe that there are enough people out there buying stuff like this. But then again what do I know? I buy a lot of my clothes at Costco.

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Everyone Is Having A Nostalgia Party Over Old Answering Machine Messages

Remember answering machines? If you said “no,” you’re too young, go away. Grow up a little. One day, the phone you’re using to read this will make no sense either.

But for the Olds, there’s a new fun game called #90sAnsweringMachineMessages for you. It’s pretty much what it sounds like. What’s a message you would leave or receive on your old message machine? What did people get when they called you and no one answered? A ton of nostalgic references, that’s what.

You may know some of these:

Though some people are sharing more literally what their voicemail message actually was in the 1990s:

Others had a warning from the future:

They also referred to some specific other technologies time forgot:

But my personal favs now are the same as they were then:

If only someone would call…

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This Grandpa Sent The Best Burn To His Granddaughter Over Text

Grandparents and technology are a volatile mix. Some take to it immediately, some don’t, and some are good at it because they’re so bad at it. Like Twitter user @amielmchugh’s Granda. That’s Scottish for grandpa.

She shared a text from her dear old grandfather that is simultaneously a guilt trip and a denial of her very existence:

Someone who seems to know the old fella chimed in with more classics:

If you couldn’t tell, that message was about compost:

Don’t try telling @amielmchugh this convo is a fake:

It seems like her gramps is pretty exhausting, so enjoying his occasional texts is a nice highlight in the turmoil:

People definitely recognize this situation, if not with grandparents, then in their own lives:

But seriously, don’t come for Amie:

Because she is just as savage as Granda.

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Wendy's Just Roasted McDonald's Over Their Ice Cream Machine And We're On Their Side

Ever wandered into a McDonald’s on a warm summers day for some refreshing ice cream only to be told that the ice cream machine isn’t working? You’re not the only one. In fact, there’s an entire meme that centres around McDonald’s ice cream machines not working…

These are all classics, by the way. 

And now, the fast food joint behind everyone’s favorite Twitter account, Wendy’s, has got in on the action. In a reply to a tweet about Fisher-Price’s McDonald’s Soda Fountain, which includes an ice cream machine, Wendy’s delivered this burn…

Someone needs a visit to the burn unit. This isn’t the first time that the geniuses behind Wendy’s Twitter account have roasted McDonald’s. Here’s a reply to a tweet that McDonald’s corporate account probably didn’t mean to send out…

And Wendy’s also went on the warpath in response to McDonald’s announcement back in March that quarter pounder burgers in the majority of their restaurants will be cooked with fresh beef by mid-2018. 

McDonald’s just can’t catch a break. Social media users seemed to enjoy this latest burn even more that those last two. 

It even made some people hungry. 

For many, the winner was clear. 

This user is even planning McDonald’s funeral. 

Get these people a pay rise. 

Others were just as brutal as the red-haired girl herself. 

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People In France Are Rioting Over Discount Nutella

Americans tend to either see the French as elitist and a representation of everything intellectual, snobby, and fancy that they despise, or they love them for exactly all those reasons. Actually, the French are just like people everywhere—crazy for sales.

A French supermarket called Intermarché offered a huge deal on the country’s national breakfast spread, Nutella, and things went sideways really fast.

Some stores faced a line of 200 people waiting to burst in and get as much 70 percent discount Nutella as they could find, and there is insane riot footage of everyone trying to grab as much as they can:

“Seriously? All this for some Nutella?” the caption reads. Yes, my friend. Tout ça pour du Nutella.

People caught the stampede for spread from every angle:

Look at the smiles on the faces of people escaping with armfuls of discount Nutella:

But because it’s France, it was described as being like an “orgy.”

On employee told NDTV, “People just rushed in, shoving everyone, breaking things. It was like an orgy. We were on the verge of calling the police.”

Honestly, if your orgy involves this much screaming and pushing, you should call the police. The key party has gotten out of hand.

People have very different perspectives on this Nutella hysteria, which directly correlate to their own enjoyment of it/Francophilia.

Other supermarkets seem to be baiting consumers??

And what’s especially crazy, is that CNN International reports this isn’t even the first reported incident of Nutella violence. In 2015, an elderly man says he was punched in the face after complaining another customer took too many Nutella waffle samples. 

Folks, that was in America. We’re as bad as they are. Worse, because we have a whole holiday dedicated to trampling people for sales—it’s called Black Friday and don’t act like you haven’t gone crazy for deals in your life.

They also reported that in at least one Intermarché location, the police were called after “altercations” broke out.

So, what have we learned?

The passion, the flavor, the spread. France.

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This Thread About All The Weird Stuff Kids Freak Out Over Is Priceless

Being a parent means traveling everywhere with a small, irrational human who at any point might completely lose their chill. There are also joys to parenting, but this thread started by Twitter user @SparkyROAR is definitely focused on the “losing their chill” part.

@SparkyROAR posted a photo (taken with the parent’s permission) of a kid lodging a silent protest against his color coordinated accessories:

But it was taken with absolute admiration for the child’s commitment:

Everyone commiserated with how odd child behavior is, but also how funny?

Then the stories from parents of all the things that have been upsetting their little weirdoes came out:

Also, many responsible adults pointed out that usually when kids are having a freak out, it’s because they’re tired or hungry and too stressed out to express that verbally. It is duly acknowledged that it’s perhaps not nice to laugh at a kid in distress, even if it seems to be over something ridiculous. But being a parent is also hard, and if you can’t laugh about your kid wanting to lick the plunger, you just might cry, too.

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H&M Store In South Africa Trashed Over 'Coolest Monkey' Sweatshirt

But outrage had already gone international. And over the weekend, protesters aligned with South Africa’s Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) political party, which is a “radical, leftist, anti-capitalist and anti-imperialist movement,” according to their website, trashed a store at Sandton City Shopping Centre in Johannesburg.

Images uploaded by shoppers and journalists show protesters outside the store as well as images of the store after it was allegedly trashed by members of the group. 

In a statement to local radio station Jacaranda FM, the EFF’s Donald Mabunda said: 

According to News24 journalist Alex Mitchley, the group gave the store 24 hours to close its doors permanently. The group said they will continue to protest indefinitely if the store fails to do so. 

Mabunda claimed to Jacaranda FM that the store has since been closed adding that they are willing to sleep at the shopping center until they can meet with a H&M representative. 

Sandton City Shopping Centre issued this statement on Twitter: 

The incident was met with both acceptance and outrage online. 

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Mom Shares Picture Of Her Daughter On The Beach And Gets Slammed Over Child's Skin

Mom bloggers and Instagram influencers are very popular on social media, but part of the job is receiving a lot of scrutiny for how you’re doing as a parent. One woman just got put through the gauntlet after posting an innocent picture of her kid enjoying a beach day.

This is her daughter Winter (thus, life with Winter):

Winter is more camera shy than her mom. Then there’s the wee babe, Wilde, who has not yet developed the motor functions to crawl away from branding opportunities:

As a mom Instagram model, Jones shares a lot of pic of the kids enjoying surf and sun, but one picture of Winter recently kicked up a controversy. It showed Winter walking along the beach, appearing very tan:

According to Metro.uk, Jones woke up to discover the post had been flagged and removed.

Apparently, the image had been littered with comments about Winter’s skin tone, like, “It’s disgusting to see how dark your daughter’s skin in,” and “Have you heard of suncream? How about you start using it before your kid looks 40 at four. Horrible mother.”

Jones believes the image was flagged because people were disparaging her daughter’s skin. She posted a follow up on Instagram telling the haters to step off:

In the caption she wrote:

The comments were full of supportive people who tan easily:

The feedback was so positive that Jones followed with another pic of Winter having a blast on the beach:

In the caption, Jones says that she’s incredibly grateful for the response, and states that her family is of Aboriginal descent, which is partly of why Winter’s skin tends to tan quickly rather than burn:

“So the past 48 hours has been pretty crazy for me. I didn’t expect to get the response I have from my post. I want to say a huge thankyou for everyone writing to me, I appreciate your support and kind words. It’s lovely to see that majority of people writing to me are against online bullying. In regards to the photo I posted I can totally see both sides of the ballpark now. I saw no problem with the photo I chose to post because there was no inappropriate parts showing, just Winters side profile. I just want to say though that I do respect even the people who have wrote into me disagreeing with my post but I thank you for going about it in a tasteful way and not shaming my child for her skin colour. We are of Aboriginal decent and we are proud of our heritage. I have learnt a lot from this experience and I won’t change the way I post but I will be more mindful of what I choose to share online. Thankyou once again for connecting with me and sharing your own stories. I’m making my way through my messages and will get back to every one of you.”

Look, nothing is keeping this family off the beach:

They got an umbrella, they got sunscreen—now everyone else should get a life!

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