Woman Wants Parents To Ask Their Babies For 'Consent' Before Changing Diapers
I remember being five years old and hate, hate, hating having to hang my coat up in the closet. I screamed to my mother one day that if I ever had kids of my own, after the millionth time she bothered me about hanging my coat up, that I would never ever ask my kids to clean up after themselves because it was the absolute worst and in no way fun.
I eventually came around because mom and dad were the boss of me and although I still lazily throw my clothes on the floor, more often than not I get embarrassed enough to not want to live like a slob and put them where they belong.
But my own childhood words are biting me in the butt right about now because my son also loves causing a mess. His idea of “playing” with blocks is to dump them all over the floor, kick them around for no longer than six seconds, then resume stomping around my apartment, pretending to be a T-Rex.
My toddler is just a giant bag of enthusiasm and stubbornness and I’m constantly trying to work to reroute that stubbornness into non-garbage social behavior. Yes he cries, yes he throws tantrums, yes he wants to have chocolate and gummy bears (which he refers to as “purple snacks,” regardless of their color) before he’s had an actual meal, but I don’t relent.
Now I don’t claim to be an expert on parenting, and I guess we’ll have to wait a couple of decades to see how my toddler and new baby daughter eventually turn out. But I have to admit I scoffed to myself and shook my head after I saw this headline where sexual consent expert, Deanna Carson, said that parents should ‘ask’ their baby’s permission before changing their diaper.
There’s an obvious joke to be made about this and it’s that babies can’t really understand a gosh darn word you say or really signal whether they approve of something or not. If they did, my daughter would answer with a cooing, “I AM” every time I ask with sugar in my voice who the cutest baby is.
The ABC’s “expert” advises parents to seek their child’s consent before changing their nappy. Add to list of things officially beyond parody. https://t.co/wxvftPCx8r
But after the hullabaloo of that ridiculous headline died down, Caron’s “real” point was made and on the surface, it seems like a totally reasonable one: to train children from a young age about the importance of consent.
Waiting for their response is supposed to instill a sense in the child that their response is an important one and is supposed to give them a greater autonomy over their bodies when they’re older.
“If you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye-contact then you’re letting that child know that their response matters,” Deanne Carson said. https://t.co/euB8mbO5hJ
Now there are a lot of people who think that sounds good. Heck, even I did for a second.
No, she’s saying you should ask the baby if it’s OK. To get kids used to the idea that their bodies are their own. “Deanne acknowledged babies would not be able to answer but said it’s still important.”
sure but….i also understand the upset. this is a really bad way to make that point. babies can’t consent! period. telling people to ask consent before changing their baby is like a parody of the real argument.
i think she wants to encourage a conversation about consent amongst kids, but has made a mockery of it by taking it to the extreme. babies can’t consent to anything. ever. they’re babies! their safety and survival needs are assumed. this is NOT a mainstream view of sex educators.
I don’t ask my son if he wants to go to the bathroom, I pick him up and take him to the toilet and try to make going number 1 or number 2 into a fun game. There are some days he would fight me tooth and nail begging to get off the toilet, kicking and screaming. Then, five minutes later, he pees his pants. Whenever I asked him, previously, if he had to pee, he’d say no, then come rushing to me minutes later saying, “pee pee, pee pee” with already wet underpants.
My 1-month-old infant cries hysterically when there’s poop in her diaper, signaling to me that something is wrong. I put her on her changing table and then start singing our family’s, “let’s change the stinky diapey” song, removing her stanky clothes and poo-soaked diaper. She hates that just as much and starts wailing. So if I asked her consent before removing her diaper and she disapproves of it and I do it anyway, aren’t I just teaching her that no matter what she says or does, her consent ultimately doesn’t matter, and with someone who loves her unequivocally?
She is fairly stupid though. Because the nappy has to be changed no matter how the baby reacts, so if they react negatively, the message they’ll receive is that their consent is irrelevant. By this woman’s own logic, that is – which is bad logic.
You can’t let most adults do whatever they want, let alone give children a “say” in what they want to do. My son will eat bananas, grape tomatoes, and Maria cookies all day if I asked him what he wanted to eat. He’d sit in front of an iPad for hours. Oftentimes, he doesn’t even know what he wants. For two weeks he begged me everyday to go to the zoo. The day I hyped him up to go, he was ecstatic, then, at the last minute, he said, “No ZOO!” and then threw himself on the floor like a big drama queen.
30 minutes later, when we were at the park walking around, and he saw the animals and other kids playing, he was an overjoyed little nugget. I mean I can’t count the number of times I did something as an adult that I thought I didn’t want to do that ended up being awesome.
I see her point. But I’m not sure it actually helps parents with this idea if you train them to just ask in a rote way and yet do what they were going to anyway regardless of the response. Put the focus on areas of consent that are truly possible and meaningful.
So she might be coming from a totally good place, but it doesn’t mean that it’s not a completely idiotic idea. There are better ways to teach children about consent. And I can tell you that my toddler already has a strong sense of personal autonomy. Just watch him wriggle away from random kids at the park who want to hug him or push off of relatives who give overbearing smooches – he’s got autonomy to spare.
And I’d wager plenty of other kids do as well. What do you think?
Henry Warren’s son Sam recently lost a tooth, and Warren decided the tooth fairy needed to respond in a way that encouraged his son to get better at dental hygiene. The resulting letter will prepare Sam for a lifetime of dealing with dodgy gym membership contracts.
After the ingenious letter went viral on Twitter, Henry Warren spoke to BuzzFeed about Sam’s reaction to the tooth fairy’s correspondence. Apparently, Sam was “rather chastened,” but “one is never too young to be exposed to petty bureaucracy.” After all, the Warren family is British, and it apparently is the British way.
“Whilst the tone may have come across as a touch harsh, we think people should take the time to appreciate how hard it is being a tooth fairy in Theresa May’s Britain,” said Henry. “The Department of Tooth Fairies (DoTF) has not been immune to austerity. Barry’s hours are long, the pay is poor, (the free dental is obviously a plus) but overall it’s a tough gig.”
“We’re sure that Barry was just processing the tooth through the proper channels,” Henry said. “He’s a stickler. One has to be these days.”
From the Twitter response, it seems like Henry is inspiring other parents to take similar action. Pity the poor children who will get similar letters from pedantic tooth fairies in the future.
Embarrassing your children is the most important thing you can do as as parent. You know, after feeding them. And I guess making sure they are are safe is important, too. Of course, you are also going to want to make sure you instill some good values in them, as well. And you have to make sure they have a roof over their head. That seems kind of similar to making sure they are safe, but it feels different enough where it is worth mentioning.
And if you have two kids, you are going to want to make sure they get along with each other. Also, make sure that they both are fed and are safe. Really, I guess this is the same list as before just doubled. I mean, they only need one roof but…
Whatever. My point is that embarrassing your kids is the most important thing a parent can do. Or maybe it is in the top five most important things. You know what? Let’s call it ten.
A 7-month-old baby in Belgium tragically passed away as a result of the strict diet his parents fed him, which was entirely glutton and lactose free. The parents, identified only as Peter S., 34, and Sandrina V., 30, self-diagnosed their child with food allergies without ever consulting a doctor. According to public prosecutors:
The parents determined their own diagnosis that their child was gluten intolerant and had a lactose allergy. Not a single doctor had a dossier about Lucas and child protection services did not know about them.
In court, the parents claimed they never took their child to a doctor because they never noticed anything wrong. The mother added that sometimes Lucas (the child) would gain a little weight, then lose it, which “she thought was natural.” Van Meirvenne, the parents’ attorney, told the court:
Lucas had an eating disorder. He got cramps when he was fed with a bottle and his parents tried out alternatives.
The 7 month old weighed just 9.47 pounds when he died in 2014, which is half the size of the average baby his age. The child’s autopsy revealed his stomach was completely empty, and his official cause of death was ruled dehydration and malnutrition.
The mother and father ran a natural food store in the town of Beveren in Belgium, and insisted on putting their son Lucas on an alternative diet that included quinoa milk. Doctors warn that such a diet is generally unsuitable for such young children.
In the days leading up to his death, Lucas was gasping desperately for air. Finally beginning to suspect something was wrong, his parents drove him to a homeopathic doctor on the other side of the country instead of the nearest hospital. Seeing the child’s condition, the homeopathic physician told them to take Lucas to a real hospital immediately. The child was pronounced dead upon arrival.
Both parents are now facing up to 18-months in prison for their role in the death of their son. A message to parents: if you suspect your child has an allergy, get a second opinion. From a doctor.
The retail giant has always been known as a family-friendly establishment, with shopping carts that are super child-friendly, the brand’s partnerships with UNICEF, and positive, kid-focused fitness campaigns.
Now, Target’s decided to go and become even more awesome for families. They’re officially putting “Nursing Nooks” in their stores for moms who want to take a load off and feed their kids while they shop.
The popular Facebook page, Breastfeeding Mama Talk, shared a photo from a local Target that puts one of the breastfeeding stations on display.
The post received over 7,000 shares and 21,000 likes, with commenters applauding the fact that the nook was out in the open and not tucked away in a corner.
People started posting photos of more breastfeeding stations in other Target stores.
Target representative Kristy Welker said in an interview with Scary Mommy that the lounges could become a staple in Target locations everywhere.
“In late 2016, we began testing designated nursing rooms at two stores in Minnesota. We will continue to evaluate guest feedback on this test to determine broader rollout to additional stores and we always appreciate hearing from our guests about how we can better meet their needs.”
Do you think Target should make the jump and put them in all stores?
It’s fair to say that Education Secretary Betsy DeVos isn’t the favorite cabinet pick of the recently elected Donald Trump. She barely scraped past the Senate, with rebelling Republicans joining forces with Democrats to tie the vote at 50-50. Vice President Mike Pence was given the deciding vote, the first time ever a vice president has done so for a Cabinet nominee.
But many teachers and parents are worried that DeVos, who has donated millions to the Republican party, will increase the use of school vouchers and as a result, defund public schools. During her hearing, she also avoided a question on whether schools should be forced to make adaptations for children with disabilities.
And this discontent is no more obvious that on DeVos’ first visit to a school since her confirmation. DeVos was set to visit Jefferson Middle School in Washington on Friday, but was forced to make a hasty retreat to her car after parents and teachers blocked her from entering.
“Keep giving money to senators and buying your way to the position,” ABC reported one protester as shouting. As DeVos was whisked into her car by one of her staff, they continued: “I hope you’re proud of yourself. Go back. Shame! Shame! Shame!”
The protest was organized by the Washington teachers union, and included teachers and parents.
Betsy DeVos to arrive in less than 30 min. Parents and retired teachers now walking to front door of Jefferson Middle in SW, DC. @wusa9pic.twitter.com/AaoK208R2Y
Periods have been stigmatized for all of modern history, and only recently have things started to slide back into the ‘hey this normal and has been happening for as long as we’ve been a species’ mindset.
Heck, even commercials for period products still feature some weird mystery blue fluid in them, because showing even a hint of blood makes many uncomfortable. I mean imagine if they were done this way instead:
Today, when little girls become big girls, they usually get a talk and go shopping for overpriced feminine hygiene products. One family took a different approach.
Doctors say had the bullet been a few inches over, the shot could’ve pierced Cameron’s vitals, resulting in a fatal wound. Thankfully, the bullet was removed from Cameron’s arm and he’s expected to make a full recovery from his injury.
Dustin Compton, Cameron’s father, posted about the ordeal and is pleading with others to not fire their guns into the air in residential areas.
I want everyone to know that this is what happens when dumb people decide to shoot their guns off on new year’s. This is Cameron Eli Compton he is my and Jaime Stclair 2 yr old son. He was shot tonight around 10:30pm on 22nd and Griffiths. I was leaving a service call to fix the heat and when his mom was putting him in his car seat when a bullet hit him in his shoulder. Thank God it’s not fatal. Pray for my son and pray even harder for the idiot that done this. I hope if someone knows anything they will do the right thing. Happy New Year everybody from me Jaime and Eli
Dustin says knows that finding the person who shot his son is next to impossible but understandably wants them found and punished as their negligence almost killed his son. (h/t kfdm)
I remember nearly every detail, down to the socks he was wearing, when I first brought my son home from the hospital. The way I gingerly put him in the car seat. The way my wife kept looking at him as she sat in the back of the car. His little polar bear onesie and how the flowers in the vase tipped over and got water all over my laptop, breaking it. Me being angry for two seconds then looking at my son’s face and forgetting all about it.
I still have the clothes my baby boy was wearing that day tucked away. I can’t wait to show him that blanket and outfit in the future. And who knows? If he has a kid one day maybe they can use the same outfit and blanket, but that’s years from now.
Most likely the blanket and clothes will be lost or destroyed from now until then, but I admit that if I lost that t hing now, I’d be crushed.
Just like this family was to discover that the homemade blanket they brought their baby girl from the hospital in went missing.
So her parents put out the word in hopes that their blankie would be found.
Today at brunch (McGuire’s) somewhere between our walk inside, while we were eating, or our exit out of the restaurant, our precious girl’s blanket went missing. (This is the blanket she sleeps with every night and was brought home from the hospital wrapped in). Unaware of this until we made it home, I rushed back to McGuire’s with no luck, searched the whole restaurant up and down along with the parking lot. I know social media is big nowadays so every share means a lot and we would really like to have the blanket returned, no harm no foul on whether it was accidentally picked up and forgot about or whatever may have happened to it. Please share this and hopefully this hand-made, sentimental blanket can be returned to the rightful owner, contact me if it is found, thank you all. Corey Ness – (850)-293-2176! ?
People began sharing their message, but so far, it hasn’t turned up.
Halloween is the holiday when couples can shine — they get to rub everyone else’s singledom in their faces and flex those creativity muscles with cute and punny couple costumes! And, let’s be honest, the best couple costumes tend to be sexually suggestive in some way.
…But usually, X-rated couple costumes are relegated to college parties and bars. That’s why everyone is loving 22-year-old Brooke Bogin’s parents’ Halloween costume.
The 22-year-old senior at James Madison University tweeted the following photo of her parents, complete with an explanation for their costume:
Mom and Dad before their Halloween party. He’s a dill pickle. She’s a female deer. Together they’re a “dill-doe.” And also my heroes. pic.twitter.com/4BMqGU5eNu
That’s right, her middle-aged parents were a “dill-doe.”
“This is one of the first years they are ’empty nesters’ so they have a lot more time to devote to fun things like this party they went to,” Bogin told BuzzFeed. “I always joke that they have more of a social life than I do!”
Obviously, she had to reward her parents’ creativity with a Twitter shoutout.
“I thought the idea was hilarious and I was really proud that they are my parents and doing something so witty, so I just wanted to share it with my friends,” she said. “I’ve always tweeted funny things that happen with my family and my parents always joke, ‘You’ve got to tweet that’ when something funny happens.”
As it turns out, the rest of Twitter was also pretty proud of her parents — the photo was retweeted over 20,000 times.
@b_bogin I wish I could hear the conversation where they came up with this.