Everyone Is Having A Nostalgia Party Over Old Answering Machine Messages

Remember answering machines? If you said “no,” you’re too young, go away. Grow up a little. One day, the phone you’re using to read this will make no sense either.

But for the Olds, there’s a new fun game called #90sAnsweringMachineMessages for you. It’s pretty much what it sounds like. What’s a message you would leave or receive on your old message machine? What did people get when they called you and no one answered? A ton of nostalgic references, that’s what.

You may know some of these:

Though some people are sharing more literally what their voicemail message actually was in the 1990s:

Others had a warning from the future:

They also referred to some specific other technologies time forgot:

But my personal favs now are the same as they were then:

If only someone would call…

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This Woman Is Regretting Buying Something Hilarious At A College Party

We’ve all done something that we’ve regretted in college. But that’s okay, because college is probably the last chance at being young and free that you’re going to get. And over the weekend, Twitter user Annie Swartz of Texas Tech did something that probably seemed like a good idea at the time, and would probably be considered an equally great idea by many people, day or night. 

Swartz is well known for finding all the animals at parties. Whether it be a chicken or a puppy. 

But over the weekend, Swartz went way too far when she found one animal. 

Yes, she purchased a goat. No, she doesn’t still want the goat now that the party is over.

Somehow, this is a relatable tweet for some people. 

Others were just wondering how someone can accidentally buy a goat. Or why this is a problem. 

People really like goats, apparently. 

A lot of people seem to think this will happen to them. 

Would you accidentally buy a goat? 

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Mom Throws Husband A Vasectomy Party And The Snacks Are Really Something

Washington state is home to one of the most supportive marriages on the Internet. Kimberly Hemperly and her husband Jason are going viral for sharing their wise decision to take family planning into their own hands. After two kids, they’re shutting off the sperm factory. Jason is getting a vasectomy. But it’s not sad! 

They even threw a party to celebrate.

Hemperly shared pictures of their family fiesta, which included all sorts of vasectomy themes treats and visual aids to drive home the theme:

Naturally, people love this show of support. Hemperly toldBored Panda that the party was a total surprise, and Jason was delighted and touched.

“I really just wanted to show my support and appreciation to my husband for doing what he did, because not many men offer to go under the knife,” she said. “The procedure is much harder for the woman, and since I’ve had 2 C-sections with rough recoveries, he ‘took one for the team.’ It’s pretty cool of him to do something like this for me.”

Hemperly provided treats like bananas, Ding Dongs, “super seed” pumpkin seeds, and what looks like a rubber glove full of green popcorn:

She made a cake with a headstone dedicated to Jason’s sperm:

And I don’t know what these are, but they look absolutely disgusting:

She also made shirts for the kids that read, “Swim Team Survivor 2017,” and one for Jason that says, “Time To Retire The Swim Team.”

Getting a vasectomy is a great choice if you’re done procreating, and has a fairly quick recovery period. It’s actually a great option for birth control, but clearly one with some emotional ties. It’s nice that this couple got each other’s backs like that. 

And their fronts.

Jason does look a little sad, but it also seems like he’s got his hands full.

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Trump Threw A Hannukkah Party Last Night–And The Guest List Left People Enraged

Rarely one to take the high road, President Donald Trump decided to use this year’s White House Hannukah party to send a very partisan message by not inviting the majority of Jewish House members — Democrats — to the festivities.

A mere 300 guests attended, instead of the traditional 1,700 bipartisan attendees.

Fresh on the heels of Trump’s controversial declaration that Jerusalem is now the capital of Israel, the Republican Jewish Coalition and America First Action (Trump allies) hosted the White House’s version of the “Festival of Lights” in a room flanked by Christmas trees and evergreen garlands. The event featured the lighting of a small menorah by Trump’s young grandchildren, who are being raised in the Jewish faith by his daughter, Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner. 

As you can imagine, this did not sit well with liberals:

Some Twitter users tried to help us envision the intimatefête:

The two Jewish members of Congress who were invited, out of 30 Jewish congressional leaders, were Republican Representatives Lee Zeldin (NY) and David Kustoff (Tenn). Trump also left Reform Jewish leadership and progressive Jewish activists, many of whom have been critical of him or his policies, off this year’s guest list.

Jewish organizations in attendance included those with far-right leanings, like Zionist Organization of America President Morton Klein who, according to the New York Times, had himself been excluded from the annual White House shindig during Obama’s presidency. 

The NYT reported:

“He did not invite people who have been hostile to him,” Mr. Klein said in an interview. He should know. After being invited to the 2009 White House Hanukkah party during President Barack Obama’s first year in office, Mr. Klein was later cut from the guest list after condemning the former president in scathing terms. (Last year, Mr. Klein referred to Mr. Obama as a “Jew-hating anti-Semite.”)

Hold up! Speaking of Obama, let’s not forget this gem:

Twitter users remembered — and they had the receipts:

Actor and comedian Roseanne Barr tweeted in fawning support of Trump:

And was treated to an immediate smackdown:

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Cop Responds To Noise Complaint At Party By Teaching Kids How To Salsa

Cop Responds To Noise Complaint At Party By Teaching Kids How To Salsa

When cops show up to a party, they’re usually not partaking in it.

Your first reaction is probably to hide whatever contraband is in your home that shouldn’t be there, and then turn down the music and try to look as respectable as possible.

You sit there and nod your head as the officer warns you about the noise complaints and then get prepared to put in as much partying as possible before the neighbors call the cops again and you’re forced to shut down the party.

But it doesn’t always go down like that. There are some cops who are awesome, like this salsa-loving officer.

Leslie Sapp posted a video of the San Antonio cop who showed up to an event held by her kid’s dance club: NXG Dance Crew. The kids were in the middle of a dance battle.

Instead of shutting down the event, the officer asked to play a song and then joined in on the fun.

View post on imgur.com

He even got Sapp’s daughter involved in the fun and taught the kids in attendance how to salsa. 

“As a parent, especially these days, there is a lot of negativity in the world when it comes to cops, and he broke that stereotype. He didn’t have to take his time to do that and could have just (gone) in and shut it down,” Sapp said.

Sapp’s daughter said that the officer’s positive attitude changed her perception of local law enforcement.

The video quickly spread on Facebook, with tons of commenters giving props to the officer.

What a cool cop. (h/t ksat)

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People Love This Little Girl Who Dressed Up As Cindy Lou Who For A Grinch Christmas Party

T’was 2 days before Christmas,
And all through the night,
Folks kept retweeting this,
Because it made them smile bright.

But what @BigAnt_Szn couldn’t have known,
Was that her tweet would go viral,
Due to the photos shown.

cindy lou
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

A photo for reference,
For those who do not know,
Why so many on Twitter,
Loved her costume so.

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Twitter

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Twitter

But there was one user,
Who was rather perplexed,
By how this little girl,
Managed to do this to her head.

That’s when @BigAntSzn replied to the dude,
Despite his phrasing being a little bit rude,
As far as how they managed to get her hair to stand up,
It turns out that they simply used a small cup.

Pretty neat all around.

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Student Returns A 16-Year-Old Envelope Filled With Cash And Gets A Donut Party In Return

Overall, our moral compass was better when we were kids. The latest proof comes in the form of what 11-year-old Elijah from Eureka, CA did when he found an envelope that contained some cold hard cash and opted to do the right thing.

Elijah is enrolled in a primary class for handicapped students in Glen Paul School, and was brushing up on some pre-vocational skills with his teacher, and that day’s task was learning how to shred documents.

He came across an envelope dated 16 years ago, and found a wad of cash in it. Together with the help of his teacher aide, Rachel Cardoza, they managed to trace the contents back to Western Chainsaw, a local business that shreds their documents using Glen Paul’s pre-vocational program.

When John Hague, the owner of Western Chainsaw, received word that they found and wanted to return the money (which turned out to be fuel money from an old truck rental program they once had), he was ecstatic.

western card
Humboldt County Office of Education

“It was really heartwarming. You don’t see a lot of that kind of honesty any longer. To have them teaching these kids that, I think it’s a great thing.” Hague said.

He was so pleased that he showed up to Elijah’s school with three boxes of doughnuts for his class and a $ 500 check from his company to the school. The children, in turn, made him thank you cards, which he said he would be proudly displaying on the walls of Western Chainsaw.

(h/t Times-Standard)

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This Harry Potter Birthday Party Made Pretty Much Every 'HP' Reference Possible

In a world where ‘Harry Potter’ reigns supreme, it’s not uncommon to have a Harry Potter-themed birthday party. In fact, most 2000s kids have attended at least one party where fake glasses and scars were required. However, not all Wizarding World parties are created equal. 

Imgurian  might take the cake (poor pun intended) for the most intricate birthday party that even J.K. Rowling herself would envy. “I’ve never had a surprise birthday party, let alone a Harry Potter themed party,” she wrote. “I’m stationed in Germany and leaving to go back to the US 5 days before my birthday. My friends decided to throw me a birthday party before I leave, and the party they threw was so amazing!” 

As any true ‘Harry Potter’ fans will see, “amazing” is actually an understatement. 

Guests began by running through platform nine and three-quarters.

intro
imgur

“I cried. A lot. I can’t believe they did this all for me. They truly are my family away from home,” she wrote. 

We’d cry too… Check out the extravaganza. 

Then they hopped on the Hogwarts Express. 

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imgur

The whole set up was pretty impressive. 

spread
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letters
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3brooms
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There was even a sorting hat cake and golden snitch treats. 

food
imgur

…All provided by Honeydukes, of course. 

honeydukes
imgur

Wizarding world newspapers (and important HP quotes) were framed on the walls. 

walls
imgur

Not all the decorations were cutesy, though. 

forbidden forest
imgur

The Chamber of Secrets is no joke. 

Bathroom
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Guests came in costume. 

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…Some more sinister than others.

Tattoo
imgur

That had to have taken some time. Do they even make dark mark flash tats?

All we have to say is: A+ attention to detail. 

details
imgur

J.K. Rowling would be proud. 

Only question is: how will her friends top this next year?

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Guy Accidentally Gets Added To Bachelorette Party Group Message And Plans The Entire Thing

Luke Price, a 26-year-old from London, recently got added to a group chat called ‘Nikki’s Hen Party’ after one of the mothers entered in a wrong number.

Instead of letting them know their mistake, he decided to see how much he could get away with while they thought he was ‘Anna the Slamma.’ Anna just wanted to go to the spa and get wasted.

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Luke told Metro that he managed to keep the charade up for two days before one of the girls called his number and heard his voicemail. 

“My intention was to keep going in the hope I could get the ladies something for their hen party. But I’ve messaged the group admin, she was sweet and saw the funny side.”

Looks like Anna the Slamma won’t be able to tag along. 

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