If you’re a mere mortal, you’ve probably woken up one morning knowing that going to work simply isn’t an option. Perhaps you had an extra drink (or seven) the night before and the throbbing headache and severe dehydration aren’t going anywhere. The hangover is here to stay for the next five hours.
So what do you do? Tough it out and somehow make it to work? Not ideal. Make up some pathetic excuse that your boss will see right through? Also not appealing.
So… Why not settle for honesty? Who knows, maybe someone will sympathize.
Business owner Blake Pendlebury chose this noble route when he needed to call in sick to work.
After an eventful afternoon at a horse race — with a successful bet, no less — Pendlebury consumed quite a few drinks, rendering him way too drunk to go to work. So he wrote a sick note… On Facebook.
Sorry Queensland, but you’ll have to settle for some other variety of pizza for one night.
Well, we appreciate the honesty…. And we empathize.
The racing event responsible for all this fun (and alcohol consumption) even got involved and congratulated him on his win.
Maybe we’ll take this approach from now on… No way it could go wrong. (h/t mashable)
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The hardworking statisticians at Pornhub are back at it with new reports about our online habits, and we couldn’t be more grateful to them for their life-changing contributions to our understanding of human behavior.
Their newest findings? “Pizza porn” is spiking in porn searches everywhere, leaving us to wonder exactly what happens to the pizza delivery person during the “money shot.
“Pornhub has nearly 2000 videos with pizza in the title, and each month people search for pizza porn more than 500,000 times,” the insights team writes.
While the standard “pizza delivery guy” remains popular in porn, the search terms related to pizza are certainly broadening.
“Amateur pizza dare.” There are a lot of possibilities with that one.
It’s safe to say you’re more likely to consume pizza porn than your parents.
Clearly, there’s an age correlation between pizza porn popularity and age — the cheesy goodness is most popular among viewers ages 18 to 24 and least popular among viewers ages 65 and up.
While pizza porn viewing does span across gender, men are more likely to search for it. Bet you never saw that coming, right?
So where does your state rank in pizza porn consumption?
Arizona and Utah really like their porn hot and oily (and cheesy). Mississippi, on the other hand, isn’t feeling too hungry.
As it turns out, pizza porn has become a global phenomenon.
Romania and South Korea lead the world pizza porn consumption. Apparently, that cheesy goodness isn’t in very high demand in Japan, though.
It all makes sense. There’s nothing sexier than pizza.
Perhaps some videos take it too far? To each their own, we suppose…
We’re thinking pizza for dinner tonight. You?
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