A Vegan Discovered That Mayo Has Eggs In It At The Worst Possible Moment

Folks like to mock vegans, probably because a lot of them are pretty preachy about their lifestyle. But I gotta give it up to anyone who is strongly committed to their moral compassing, especially when that compass points them away from delicious, delicious cheese.

It’s not that easy to eat vegan in this world, especially if you want to eat at a fast food franchise or anywhere affordable. So, this story of a woman who faced vegan-defeat at a Subway sandwich shop is both funny and tragic.

A Subway worker named Gabriel Caulfield-Bohlken wrote about their encounter with a confused vegan on Facebook, and Reddit user u/Gresh66 also shared this tale on the Jokes subreddit, though it’s more like a Greek tragedy:

So I work at Subway, yesterday I had a chick come in, she told me she wanted a Veggie Delight. As I went to get the bread she asked me if I could change my gloves cause she was vegan and I had been handling meat. I did that, no problem, perfectly reasonable request. I get her bread, toast it and put all the veggies she wants on it, I start to wrap up her sandwich when she says, “can I get some mayo?”

I look at her, she’s looking at me, I pick up the mayo, I’m waiting for her to be like haha jk.

Nothing.

Me: “You know mayonnaise has eggs in it right?”

THIS. GIRL. JUST. STOOD. THERE. SILENT.

She stood there for a second.

V: “N-no it doesn’t, I get mayo every time, are you sure?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, mayo has egg whites in it.”

I felt so horrible, she stood there with such a distraught and defeated face, I had shattered this poor girl’s world.

I had a couple people waiting so I had to get this lady out of here.

Me: “Would you like the mayo on it ma’am?”

V: “Sure, go ahead.”

She sounded so done, so defeated,

So I gave her her mayo, wrapped her sandwich up and charged her for her sandwich, she was silent the whole time. She took her sandwich and started walking out.

Me: “Thank you for coming, have a nice day!”

She just looked at me, sighed, “yea, I’ll try” and walked out.

And that’s the story of how I taught a vegan that mayonnaise is, in fact, not vegan.

Damn. I feel that. She’s trying so hard to stick to her beliefs, and she thinks she’s found this delicious vegan workaround. Yum! Mayo is so good! And it’s vegan? Wow.

Then BAM, reality check. All those days she went to bed feeling satisfied and successfully vegan, only to find out it was all a lie. That would be shattering. But, for the record, they do make a vegan mayonnaise, and it’s actually pretty good:

It just doesn’t seem like they have it at Subway.

Commenters are very into this story, but what’s funny about it is that it seems like a lot of people have no freaking clue what’s in mayonnaise:

People don’t know anything about anything, actually:

I’m actually scared for humanity:

But at least a few people appreciated the server’s honesty. Obviously, this girl had gone through a lot of Subway workers who were not so kind:

Or maybe they just had no idea what’s in mayo either? Seems to be a common problem.

Other vegans also weighed in to say they understood the woman’s reaction completely.

Hopefully she rallied and Googled “vegan mayonnaise” for those homemade sammies. We all deserve a little flavor.

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Pro-Trump Student Tries To Get Classmate Expelled—And It Backfired In The Best Possible Way

We hold “Dreamers” to higher standards than most American citizens.

Regardless of how you feel about undocumented immigrants or the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (DACA), it takes a special kind of hate to cheer for the deportation of people who came to the U.S. as children and have known no other country. In exchange for protected status, DACA participants, or “Dreamers,” voluntarily identify themselves as undocumented, promise to commit no crimes, and actively contribute to society via scholarship, military service or entrepreneurship.

With President Trump threatening to rescind the protected status of 800,000 young Americans, a lot of people are terrified — for good reason. A Transylvania University student, Taylor Ragg, targeted fellow student and “Dreamer” Paola Garcia on social media. Ragg, the kind of Trump supporter who probably sleeps in his Chinese-made Make America Great Again hat, publicly harassed Paola, saying he was going to “send her back.”

Ragg posted this screenshot (since deleted) in a Facebook group called “10th Crusade Enthusiasts”:

A wave of harassment and threats followed. Garcia said she received messages like, “I can’t wait to get your f*****g c**t a** gone,” and, “You and your n****r boyfriend need to leave.” One person sent a picture of himself filling out a Homeland Security tip sheet.

In response, Garcia gave a voice and a face to the real human toll of newly-emboldened white nationalists:

Ragg has deleted his Facebook account, probably a wise move since he became a poster child for racist bullying once the story made national news. University officials were not happy with the harassment or the negative attention, and they allegedly expelled Ragg. Ironically, the school can’t legally share details of their actions due to privacy concerns. 

This brief message from the school will have to do:

Will other bullies, racists, and white nationalists get the message?

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This Harry Potter Birthday Party Made Pretty Much Every 'HP' Reference Possible

In a world where ‘Harry Potter’ reigns supreme, it’s not uncommon to have a Harry Potter-themed birthday party. In fact, most 2000s kids have attended at least one party where fake glasses and scars were required. However, not all Wizarding World parties are created equal. 

Imgurian  might take the cake (poor pun intended) for the most intricate birthday party that even J.K. Rowling herself would envy. “I’ve never had a surprise birthday party, let alone a Harry Potter themed party,” she wrote. “I’m stationed in Germany and leaving to go back to the US 5 days before my birthday. My friends decided to throw me a birthday party before I leave, and the party they threw was so amazing!” 

As any true ‘Harry Potter’ fans will see, “amazing” is actually an understatement. 

Guests began by running through platform nine and three-quarters.

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“I cried. A lot. I can’t believe they did this all for me. They truly are my family away from home,” she wrote. 

We’d cry too… Check out the extravaganza. 

Then they hopped on the Hogwarts Express. 

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The whole set up was pretty impressive. 

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letters
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3brooms
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There was even a sorting hat cake and golden snitch treats. 

food
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…All provided by Honeydukes, of course. 

honeydukes
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Wizarding world newspapers (and important HP quotes) were framed on the walls. 

walls
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Not all the decorations were cutesy, though. 

forbidden forest
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The Chamber of Secrets is no joke. 

Bathroom
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Guests came in costume. 

HP
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…Some more sinister than others.

Tattoo
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That had to have taken some time. Do they even make dark mark flash tats?

All we have to say is: A+ attention to detail. 

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J.K. Rowling would be proud. 

Only question is: how will her friends top this next year?

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