Best Buy Will Officially Stop Selling CDs And People Are Freaking Out

The last time I ever saw someone buying a CD was at Wal-Mart. While waiting in an unnecessarily long line to get a pint of midnight Ben & Jerry’s because I lost my self respect a long time ago, I saw someone in front of me with even less self respect.

In the overflowing shopping cart, on top of some And 1 neon green sandals and several microwavable dinners, were various country music CDs. I don’t remember all of the artists, but Toby Keith was front and center.

I was baffled: the last time I remember ever buying a CD was when I went to a Coconuts the day Sam’s Town from the Killers dropped. That huge disappointment was the end of the compact disc era, as far as I was concerned, and yet here this man was, in 2017, buying his music on a dead medium.

Even though I have a CD player in my beater Corolla, I used it only once, as a joke, when my best friend Chris Conroy found a Space Hog CD in his apartment that we listened to and summarily tossed from the car on a short road trip during this past summer. I’m sure the majority of people reading this aren’t jamming to tunes bumping from an old Sony Walkman, and yet still, store shelves and precious retail space is reserved for a bunch of compact discs no one will ever buy.

So it only makes sense that Best Buy has let music suppliers that it’ll no longer be carrying compact discs.

Apparently the news isn’t sitting well with some people, especially because they’re still going to carry Vinyl versions of albums.

The nostalgic, old-school appeal of Vinyl is understandable. Plus, when you have something on Vinyl, it looks like a piece of art you can hang in your home. But at the end of the day it’s all about business: Vinyl is coming back: the numbers don’t lie.

If people are freaking out about CDs going the way of the cassette, it’s probably because I, like other folks my age, probably feel old as hell.

I mean, I remember walking around the CD section, snooping track selections and trying to learn about new bands from the dude behind the counter.

Some people are arguing that CDs carry longer, live versions of tracks – ones that can’t be purchased on iTunes.

Others are just saying, “about time.”

Then the all-important juggalo demographic weighed in on the news.

Some people actually brought up some legitimate points about why this is a bad thing. But then again, you could always order them off Amazon. 

If you really want to listen to music on a CD, you could always burn them yourself and make yourself a sweet mix.

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify

This Beaver Ruthlessly Trashed A Store Selling Fake Christmas Trees

I’m not going to pretend I know what this beaver was thinking when he broke into a store but I’m going to anyway, because it’s fun.

Charlie the beaver bust into a dollar store in Charlotte Hall, Maryland, because he heard a terrible rumor: they were selling fake trees.

1
twitter

Being a beaver, he saw that as a personal affront. It’s like inviting your Italian friend over for a “traditional meal like Nonna used to make” for him to later on discover that you used canned sauce in the plate of spaghetti and meatballs in front of him. It’s downright unforgivable.

Upon breaking into the store, old Charlie was first horrified, then angered to discover that the rumors were actually 100% true.

2
twitter

Nothing could sate his wood-lust as he absolutely decimated all of the displays that stood in his path.

3
twitter

Authorities were quick to point out Charlie didn’t go berserk until after he noticed the trees were fake. Coincidence? I think not.

He was ultimately caught and put in the care of a wildlife rehabilitator.

But fake trees should be on guard: there’s a beaver out there who’s had it up to here with your deception. You never know which fake piece of wood’s going to be next on the receiving end of Charlie’s wrath.

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify

These Christmas Tree Baubles Are Already Selling Out And You Can Probably Guess Why

If you can believe it, 2016 is nearly over and there’s only a few more holidays before we start what will hopefully be a slightly more calm year. And with Halloween just around the corner, it might seem odd to you that a certain Christmas decoration is already flying off the shelve.Nothing says Christmas like a vulva. That’s why one genius on Etsy has decided to start selling

What is it? Well, as we all know, nothing says Christmas like a vulva. That’s why one genius on Etsy has decided to start selling Christmas tree decorations shaped like vaginas

vagina-ornaments-1-e1477059334222
Etsy


Feltmelons
 is selling the baubles, which come in a wide variety of vibrant colors. And yes, they’re all handcrafted with love.

vagina-baubles-4
Etsy

And yes, they come complete with a jingling Christmas clitoris. There are also different sizes available if you don’t think that having a massive vagina on your tree is appropriate. 

vulvamas
Etsy

Believe it or not, they’ve been selling hundreds of these things from as early as August. And customers are very satisfied with their purchases. One customer even went as far as to call them “vagtastic.”

If you want to oblige, you can find them here

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify

The Creepy Clown Controversy Has Forced Target To Stop Selling Clown Masks For Halloween

Thanks to the recent clown reign of terror that’s been haunting communities across the country (and our nightmares), Halloween just got a lot less fun. 

A Target spokesman emailed the following statement, regarding the retailer’s clown masks this Halloween:

Given the current environment, we have made the decision to remove a variety of clown masks from our assortment, both in stores and online.

So it looks like we won’t be seeing this face on Halloween. 

So what exactly is the “current environment” that makes clown masks so undesirable this year? 

It all began this summer with the first creepy clown sightings in South Carolina, where people reported a clown trying to lure children into the woods…You know, like any good horror movie begins.

Things only got worse from there. Clown disasters started sprouting up all over. Two high schools in Alabama went into lockdown last month after social media threats surfaced from a clown spotted lingering around campus. Then, in North Carolina, a 20-year-old was arrested for terrorizing people while wearing a clown mask and carrying a hatchet. 

Professional clowns (like, ones without axes and homicidal tendencies) have not been thrilled with the new widespread distrust of people in weird makeup and big red noses. 

Some clowns even organized a Clown Lives Matter march which was shut down due to death threats (and people generally being outraged that clowns would try to piggyback off of Black Lives Matter). 

The crisis hasn’t just damaged Halloween and circus clowns, though. It’s even affected a fast food empire. 

mcd
getty images

Even Ronald McDonald, the beloved clown face of obesity,  has been forced to maintain a low profile

TBH, we’re glad that there will be fewer clown masks this Halloween… So if we see one, we know it’s a legitimate homicidal maniac.

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Distractify

Selling the Last Funny Content Farm

Selling the Last Funny Content Farm
It's rare to think about a website that is just known for 'being funny' now. Most media companies that reach Millennials started in a niche like music, technology, or fashion, but have eventually hedged their coverage into EVERYTHING. These big box …
Read more on Motherboard

Raptors' DeRozan, Lowry share funny story about 3 a.m. McDonalds trip
Raptors' DeRozan, Lowry share funny story about 3 a.m. McDonalds trip. Toronto Raptors point guard Kyle Lowry (7) talks to guard DeMar DeRozan (10) against the New York Knicks at Air Canada Centre. Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports. By Bryan …
Read more on FOXSports.com