Millennials Had The Best Responses To Article That Says They Should 'Just Work Longer'

Millennials Had The Best Responses To Article That Says They Should 'Just Work Longer'

Pretty much everything costs more now. I’m not just talking about inflation, I’m talking value.

Apparently, according to this Politico article, you’re expected to just work longer, instead of, you know, affecting laws to make sure that the top 1% doesn’t horde even more of the wealth that they already control.

The gut reaction many people had to the article was a simple one:

People weren’t buying the whole “suck it up” and “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” argument.

Probably because the bootstraps are exorbitantly overpriced and you need to finance a pair to own that incurs impossible interest rates designed to keep you in economic slavery forever.

Some people suspect a “baby boomer” wrote the article. You know, someone from a generation where working a single job (no side hustles required) was enough to purchase a home and have a spouse live at that home and take care of the kids.

The article had people responding with all sorts of dark jokes.

While others broke down what the writer’s argument was, in its essence.

But then there those who started serving up facts – and it’s that millennials, despite being ridiculously educated, knowledgeable, and skilled, are underpaid when compared to previous generations.

Never mind the fact that many basic tasks can be solved (and usually are) with computer automation. So you have people sitting around at jobs, who could be innovating, performing mindless tasks.

The fact that it’s “normal” for students to be tens, and in some instances, hundreds of thousands in dollars of debt for majors and professions that don’t pay (adjusted for inflation) as much as they did a generation ago, is absolutely insane.

It’s enough to make people feel all sorts of hopeless.

I mean I’ve come across my fair share of defeatist millennials who don’t hold themselves to the fire and hustle to go after their dreams. But for the ones who are, there’s no question that the economic ads are stacked against them today.

And we’re already seeing the effects of it now.

My own father is 65 years old and he’s hustling now just to hold on to a property that his family has owned for decades.

But that’s just the way things are now, I guess!

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17 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

1. I’d watch this movie.

2. I hope the clarification is something along the lines of, “LOL you believed me, idiot?!”

3. Well, well, well.

4. Deep down inside you had to know there was a reason for your persistent alcoholism.

5. Wait, they’re arming these roosters now?!

6. Ahh the old, “I’m too fat to be a rapist” strategy.

7. KFC? No way. Now Popeye’s is a different story…

8. The day the margaritas died.

9. “He would’ve wanted this.”

10. “It’s time to tackle the real evil in society!”

11. Missouri…what are you doing?

12. You know, he gets a bad rap for no reason.

13. Imagine what he could do with a sloppy joe.

14. Goodbye, you legend.

15. An appropriate response.

16. Millennials will stop at nothing when it comes to their diabolical plot to incorporate avocados into every aspect of life.

17. These kids are awesome. End of discussion.

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Guy Learns The Hard Way Why You Should Never Body Shame A Woman On Twitter

Leyton Mokgerepi probably thought he was creating a relatable meme when he tweeted this:

What ended up happening, however, was the complete opposite. People immediately ostracized him online for posting a fat joke at another woman’s expense. A woman, who, actually looks pretty darn good in her photo, if you ask me. And most importantly, of course, is that women don’t have to meet any one standard of beauty, and don’t exist just for other people to find them attractive.

Something that other Twitter users were quick to point out as well.

And as it turns out, because the internet is a place full of cats and karma, and in this case, boatloads of karma, the woman in the photo Leyton tried shaming came out, on the record, that she in fact doesn’t like him.

He tried to save face after her post by calling her, “Girlfriend Goals.”

But it was clear for all to see it was a feeble attempt, so Twitter reminded him of how badly he was dragged.

Her tweet even caught the attention of some celebs.

At the end of it all, @Thickleeyonce was floored by the positive response people had for her after Leyton’s initial attempt to shame her.

So the next time you try to body shame someone online, remember: you might just get dragged.

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19 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

Seriously, anything goes in America at this point.

What’s most absurd about this is that Sean Spicer actually hid in bushes. In real life. To avoid journalists.

But by all means, keeping gassing and firehosing protesters.

I just wish someone who thought the play was too “preachy” and over-dramatized the effects of racism saw that.

I mean, what else would you do with your money?

To quote Titus: “What kind of white nonsense is this?”

Never underestimate the power of the senate.

This craptastic festival story just gets stranger and stranger.

“We gotta use catapults, they’ve gotta be yuge!”

Wait…so those videos are real?!

Seriously, did no one beta-test with the coke fiends, first?

“If you don’t stop crying this instant, ya infant…”

There’s officially a President more corrupt and villified than Richard Nixon. Rest easy, Dick, you’re not the worst.

Please tell me they’re made by Acme enterprises.

Now it’s living up to its name.

God forbid someone exercises their right to free speech.

19. Man from Katy, TX who ordered prostitute discovers that she is his own wife

The real question is, how much did she charge him?

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17 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

These are the stories that matter.

I’m just imagining a bro-doctor working day and night to come up with this method to hit on a coworker.

They’re also not fond of “Australia”, it’s now officially called “Down Under” or “English Convict Island”.

Looks like this dude’s gunning hard for the most out-of-touch jerkface politician award.

I hope they wipe these criminals out.

I hope the judge looked him before hitting the gavel and said, “Does not compute.”

Don’t you just love it when politicians presume to know what an all-powerful deity would’ve done?

This guy is the an idol to 13-year-old boys everywhere.

I know I’m getting old when I start siding with the woman.

Holy crap this cheating ex is brutal.

I always wondered what it would take to get a Wal-Mart greeter sacked. Good to know it’s curious turkeys.

I don’t think I’d ever agree with that statement, but the story’s kinda messed up.

Even a road will kill you in Russia.

Now if they were Sun Chips, I’d understand…

Oh really? Because I thought that tax dollars came from taxpayers, like, you know, citizens. Unless you’re getting money from private corporations, which is, you know, illegal.

Ahh, the old, “you can’t arrest me while I’m eating a McMuffin” defense.

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18 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

When you gotta make money, you get creative.

How the hell would that work?

I mean they are pretty awesome.

Thank God, blood isn’t as refreshing as it sounds.

“The bombs bursting in aiiiiir.”

I can’t share an area code with plebs!

When life gives you lemons…sell guns kids.

There’s a best tree award?

Just when I was getting used to this new diet.

Props to New Zealand for keeping up with the times.

Who knew the Israelites were so down with Britney?

What a sh**y way to go out.

For him, it’s a lifestyle.

You figured they’d just laugh it off.

I wish this was the extent of the problems with our nation’s leader.

Tag a different kind of wall.

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19 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

1. Donald Trump too hard to satirise, say South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone


south park

They should parody him by making him an actually good President in the show.

2. Virginia used to have an official groundhog; it killed itself on Groundhog Day


newyork1

He won’t take part in your insulting ceremonies.

3. Police station fumigated after men caught in store sex act, report says


elitebugkillers

“It smells like sex in here. Oh well, only one way to fix that.”

4. ‘Tinder for orangutans’: zoo lets female primate choose mate using tablet


animal press

This Dunston Checks In sequel should’ve never been produced by Cinemax.

5. Woman won’t stop spending at Kmart, boyfriend complains


kmart

The craziest part about this headline is that there are still K-Marts around.

6. Man charged with stealing Roll Up The Rim Tim Hortons cups


victoriabuzz

You gotta win those prizes any way that you can.

7. Workington police blow up ‘suspicious’ car parked by fellow officers


bbci

This is why communication is very, very important ladies and gentlemen.

8. Good Samaritan offers man a ride, winds up ‘getaway driver’ in Columbia bank heist


magiccity

No good deed goes unpunished.

9. Man shot cat that ‘looked at him like it owned the place’


telegraph

Listen, I’m not condoning violence against animals, but I totally get where this guy is coming from.

10. Johnny Depp spent $ 3 million blasting Hunter S. Thompson’s ashes out of a cannon, ex-managers claim in lawsuit


independent

Hey it’s his money, he can do what he want with it. That’s a good friend right there.

11. Oldest Prostate Stones Ever Found Suggest a Man Was in Agony 12,000 Years Ago

1
seeker

Doesn’t help him now, does it?

12. Five years of ‘no dinners out, no entertainment, no sports’ for two company execs who evaded taxes

You mean, jail?

13. Neither Donald Trump nor Sean Spicer Seem to Know That Frederick Douglass Is Dead


george k. warren

“He plays for the Bucks, right?”

14. Denis Leary acknowledges he looks exactly like Kellyanne Conway, eyes Oscar-winning role


independent

Would be the funniest thing he’s ever done since the a**hole song.

15. New DC comic reinvents Snagglepuss as ‘Gay Southern Gothic Playwright’


hanna barbera

If anyone wants to get me a gift, please get me this.

16. Man’s daily vodka intake calcified his pancreas


getty

I’ve been wondering when/how they were going to reboot this character.

17. Police commissioner all smiles after domestic violence arrest


south hackensack

Poor soul, he thinks that just because the President could get away with treating women like sh*t that he can too.

18. Clean energy subsidies could be used to build new coal power plants, Scott Morrison says


abc

Yeah I mean, coal’s super clean, even canaries can breathe it in. That’s why miners would bring them down in the tunnels so much.

19. In corruption-riddled Romania, officials now allow room for modest abuses


pressrom

They should call it “the partial scumbag” initiative.

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The Most Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened In 2016

2016 has been a brutal 365 days, here are the craziest headlines from the year that most people agree was an absolute piece of steaming hot garbage.

1. What a stinker.

2. You matched with chlamydia

3. It’s a slippery slope.

4. Please kill me, please kill me, I can’t take anymore Barney…

5. And they say romance is dead.

6. Where are they? So I know to, uhh, avoid them.

7. This entire election was something out of a comedy.

8. Someone let Russia know.

9. Isn’t that, like, the opposite of what Yoga is?

10. This post 9/11 world sucks.

11. That’s why my friend was so excited for Hannukkah this year.

12. Poor Khloe can’t catch a break.

13. I could’ve told you that

14. That’s one way to raise a child…

15. I would pay good money to see a bike and horse chase.

16. Kid’s got a bright future ahead of them.

17. How do you mix that up?

18. If it exists, there’s porn of it.

19. What if you just lose a lot of weight really quickly?

20. But it was for a CHARIZARD.

21. Guess there’s competition in pretty much every line of work.

22. He was such a sweet man…

23. It would’ve been great if it turned out to be Britney Spears instead.

24. Dance…NOW! Have fun, or die!!

25. “Hit it off.”

26. After using this, crapping anywhere else must really suck.

27. That’s what they want you to believe.

28. Raccoons hate drunk driving; little-known fact.

29. Yes, those kinds of aliens.

30. Ahh yes, the notorious spy pigeon.

31. How do you confuse farts for a child?

32. “Come on babe, what’s the worst that could happen?”

33. Were there not enough women to suggest for the list or something?

34. You can never be too high on the lord.

35. Well if you’re going to have sex for one kind of food, then…

36. Or why not use both?

37. So if your GF brings up something stupid you said years ago, that’s the reason.

38. I mean a talking snowman is pretty terrifying.

39. Now that’s a horse who lives up to its name.

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Recommended article: The Guardian’s Summary of Julian Assange’s Interview Went Viral and Was Completely False.

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Scientists Think You Should Ignore Your Mom And Not Make Your Bed In The Morning

When you were a kid, and likely while you’ve been an adult, your mom probably yelled at you for being lazy and not making your bed in the morning. But research out of Kingston University in the United Kingdom has shown that your mom might have been damaging your health all along. 

How? Dust mites. Dr. Stephen Pretlove is advising people leave their beds unmade to banish the beasts that could prove problematic for people with asthma or allergies. 

The average bed is home to around 1.5 million house dust mites according to Pretlove. Since they produce allergens, they can potentially cause issues for people with existing conditions. 

His research, which was carried out on a complex computer model, found that a home with neatly made beds had more dust mites in it than the exact same home when beds weren’t made. 

Why? A dust mite’s worst enemy is air and sunlight. If they’re exposed to either, they quickly become dehydrated and die. Letting your bed air also removes any moisture that you may have excreted over the night, denying the mites any moisture. But in a made bed, moisture is kept in and a warm and humid environment is created. Those are the exact conditions that dust mites thrive in. 

So if you have an allergy or asthma, Pretlove recommends defying your mother and keeping your bed a mess.

The next stage of his research will include putting mite pockets into beds in 36 houses around the United Kingdom to test their computer model and will investigate how people’s daily routines affect mite populations.

Why go to all this trouble? According to Pretlove, the British national health service spends around £700 million on treating mite-induced illnesses.

“Our findings could help building designers create healthy homes and healthcare workers point out environments most at risk from mites,” he said. 

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17 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

1. Wannabe Weatherman Arrested for Starting Wildfire to Get Facebook Views


wcmh

People like sensationalism, can you blame him?

2. New York Times publisher vows to ‘rededicate’ paper to reporting honestly


 huffingtonpost

Guess I’ll disregard everything I’ve read in the paper up until today.

3. Suspected car thief tells police he was ‘tired of walking’


kent county jail

That’s a lot of work to be so lazy.

4. Amazon delivery drivers ‘feel compelled to defecate in vans’ to save time


independent

Don’t blame your van crapping fetish on Amazon.

5. Burglar tells police he is lawyer and to “get out of my garden if you don’t have a warrant”


psni

The balls on this guy.

6. Zuckerberg Denies Fake News On Facebook Had Impact On The Election


getty

How could it be fake? I saw it on the internet?!

7. Anti-pirating ad music stolen


screenrant

The freaking music they used in an anti-piracy ad was pirated. Wow.

8. George W. Bush paints portraits of veterans wounded carrying out his orders


whnt

“Sorry I made you lose your legs for corporate interests. Here’s a painting.”

9. Man buys yard sign to pressure sex offender to move


abclocal

I wish I was there to hear what the guy at the sign shop said when he got this call.

10. Dead Man Wins City Election In California; Female Rival Calls Foul

Damn. Americans hate women in politics so much they’d rather elect a corpse or Donald Trump.

11. Facebook sorry for ‘terrible error’ that killed off still-living users


cbc

How crazy would it be if it put your date of death on a specific day in the near future?

12. Kraftwerk’s Buenos Aires show could be cancelled due to electronic music ban


exclaim!

Guess they’re more into metal.

13. Louisiana tax commissioner resigns after it’s discovered he didn’t pay taxes


nola

He could always run for President.

14. Rats laugh when tummy tickled, top scientists reveal


the northern echo

Glad they got the top scientists on the case.

15. City of Denver doesn’t know who’s running “city of Denver” Instagram account


9news

Insert marijuana short term memory loss joke here.

16. Fan plans Cleveland Browns ‘perfect season’ parade as team stays winless


yimg

They have to know they’re being ironic.

17. Man arrested for being too high on the Lord


pixel

You can never be too high on the Lord. That’s sacrilege!

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