There's Now A Pop-Up 'Game Of Thrones' Bar So You Can Get As Drunk As Cersei

A Game of Thrones-inspired bar is coming to Washington, D.C., which is great news for everyone who has ever wanted to sip wine as menacingly as Cersei does.

The bar, which will serve cocktails with names like “Dracarys” and “Dothraquiri,” will be slinging drinks through August 27.  “We began by thinking about what these fictional characters from Game of Thrones would drink, what cocktails would epitomize them and what moments should be represented,” says Bar Manager Paul Taylor. “We want our guests to connect the cocktails to elements of the show through name, ingredients, garnish, and glassware.”

For instance, The North Remembers ($ 15)—a yummy-sounding scotch drink—is served in a horn tankard. A tequila and grapefruit tonic, meanwhile, gets you shamed—seriously. The drink is called Shame ($ 13) and it apparently comes with a little bell to ring so everyone can see your disgrace.

The pub, officially opened for business June 21, is decorated with Weirwood trees, dragons, and, of course, the Iron Throne itself. 

The bar will specifically not be open on Sunday nights after July 16, however. “To watch it, of course,” said Angie Fetherston, who heads the group running the pub, in a statement.

“To quote the great George R.R. Martin, ‘there has to be a level of joy of what you’re doing’ and we believe Game of Thrones is the seminal show of this decade,” Fetherston said. “We didn’t have a choice; the three-eyed raven picked us. This PUB is our love letter to the Seven Kingdoms and we cannot wait to share it with fellow fans.” 

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There's Now A Tinder-Like App For Lonely Moms To Make Friends

On Wednesday morning, Good Morning America shared a segment on an app that’s been floating around for a few months called Peanut. Peanut is being marketed as “Tinder for moms.” Tinder is a hookup app for sexy singles, but Peanut promises something less sexy and more necessary: friendship.

Created by mom and CEO Michelle Kennedy, who previously worked on dating app Bumble, Peanut gives you a platform to meet moms in your area who are desperate for some like-minded companionship. After all, someone has to be the first parent in their friend group, and that can be a difficult transition. 

Kennedy herself went through the same thing when she saw her friends partying on Instagram and realized how lonely she’d gotten. “I just felt like I needed to speak to another woman who was doing the same thing as me,” explained Kennedy on GMA.

Basically, you tell the app a bit about yourself, including a photo and location, and then you can swipe on other moms to see if you have anything in common. Then you’re given the option to wave at them and if they wave back, you start a conversation. People are having surprising reactions to it online, from this guy who wants to know when HE gets an app:

To this very judge-y woman who is ironically telling moms to get off their phones from her Twitter account:

And, unfortunately, quite a few disappointed users:

But don’t despair! Peanut is relatively new, and there was a time when you would see the same guy ten times in a row on Tinder. The more moms who use Peanut, the more likely it is you’ll find someone you can click with. I hope this thing has got a million more users by the time I’m a mom, though I predict I’ll be the last parent in my friend group.

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Trump Is Bringing Toby Keith With Him To Saudi Arabia, And There's A Bunch Of Problems With That

President Trump will be showing the Middle East how awesome America is by bringing country singer Toby Keith for a very special concert.

And no women are allowed because of the strict Islamic law of gender segregation. To herald president Donald Trump’s visit, the “I Like Girls That Drink Beer” singer will perform on Saturday – where the very things mentioned in this particular tune are banned: Alcohol and women. 

The designated embodiment of American patriotism will perform from a tasteful repertoire of songs like, “Beer For My Horses,” “Whiskey Girl,” and “Drunk Americans,” to rock the heck out of the Islam-enforced capitol city of Riyadh.

Keith is not a shocking choice for Trump to string along. After all, the singer was on the sparse list of performers for the inauguration. But, what’s confounding is the fact that this is the same singer known for his post 9/11 vengeance anthem, “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American),” where he made the incendiary declaration: “We’ll put a boot in your *ss/It’s the American way.” 

Saudi singer Rabeh Sager will share the stage with the cold beer guzzling nationalist in a performance where, “An Arabian lute and American guitar unite in a star-studded night,” according to an online ad.

This is one for the record books.

It sure reads like a satire.

“An International Crisis Was Triggered By A Country Star,” is the type of headline you may or may not find in ‘The Onion.’

Exercising discretion with song choices is paramount. Keith is also known for another controversial tune, “The Taliban Song,” in which he sang: “We’ll bid a fair adieu and flip the finger to the Taliban,” referring to the fundamentalist group that was led by Saudi-born Osama Bin Laden. Capping the night with that ditty would just be a sour note to land on.

For a country that up until recently considered live music a sin, the male concert goers will be in for a whole lot of ‘Merica – embodied in songs about women and booze – shoved in their faces. 

At least in this scenario, it’s the women who might actually be the ones who are spared.

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There's Now A Tumblr For Every Contestant From MTV's 'Next'

Lane Moore is a comedian who is famous for her Tumblr collections, like Male Feminists of Instagram. Somewhat obsessed with romance and dating, it seems obvious that she’d be attracted to the early reality TV show Next, a show where sexy singles basically Tinder swiped each other before such a thing existed. Except it was in person. On MTV. 

Why would anyone subject themselves to such a situation? Probably so that years later, someone could remind them what their three “interesting” facts about themselves were:

In an email with Distractify, Moore explained why she took on the daunting task of screen-capping all these lonely hearts for her new Tumblr collection, “Hotties of MTV’s Next,” 

“I’ve always loved shows like Blind Date and Next so much. I grew up on them. In late 2015, I started rewatching Next obsessively and I’d forgotten how incredible those three facts on there were and started posting some clips on Vine, etc. It was a show I forgot I loved and I wanted to remind others of its joy. 

Whoever took that interview with the daters and boiled it down to like ‘loves bees named Gabe, wet himself at his mom’s wedding two years ago, wants kids’ is an unsung hero. I can’t wait to post the like 200 screen caps I have.”

She’s right. They’re glorious.

After reading so many of those in a row, I’m starting to suspect the producers of Next didn’t actually want to help these kids find love! You can watch an episode below and decide if this was all for our entertainment or not:

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We Just Learned What Owls Look Like Without Feathers And There's No Going Back

Generally speaking, knowledge is power. Why not learn as much as possible to become a more interesting, useful, and education person? You never know when certain information will come in handy. 

This clichéd wisdom, however, has its limits. Perhaps there are some areas we really don’t need to explore. There are things that can’t be unlearned once we’ve seen and absorbed them… And that knowledge may haunt us forever. 

Thanks to the Internet, we now know way too much about owls. 

It all began when entertainment writer and Twitter phenom Dana Schwartz noticed a particularly plump bird resting on boyfriend’s air conditioner in New York City. 

But the vigilant people of Twitter would not tolerate such bird body shaming without all the facts. 

All birds are beautiful, after all. 

That’s when Schwartz came to her senses. “I realized I had no idea what owls looked like without feathers,” Schwartz told Distractify.

So, she did some research: “The answer is…nightmares” she said. 

Graciously, she decided to share her important findings with the public. 

These findings left everyone rattled. So Twitter tried to make sense of it all.  

Who knew that cute chubby, owls were actually mutant dinosaurs of our nightmares?

Schwartz, herself, is not deterred. “I think they’re even cuter [now],” she says. 

Tragically, this information no one asked for spawned more photos of creepy, naked animals to haunt our nightmares. 

Cute animals will never be the same. You’re welcome. 

While we can’t promise any more frightening factoids about owls, we can suggest you absorb more of Schwartz’s wisdom in her book And We’re Off, available for preorder on Amazon

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Now There's A Wine Glass That Attaches Directly To The Bottle So You Can Drink Efficiently

Unfortunately, we often spend our lives walking on eggshells — we’re bound by social norms that keep us from being our truest selves. Far too often, we make decisions based on fear of judgment… And by that I mean I’m not my authentic self because I drink wine out of a glass in front of other people while chugging straight from the bottle on my own. Ugh, society. 

Well, social norms always have loopholes. Now there’s a way to drink concerning amounts of wine under the guise of grown-up etiquette. 

Guzzle Buddy is here to make your end of the day drink (or middle of the day pick-me-up, no judgment) a lot more socially acceptable. 

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Thanks to this brilliant invention,  you can keep guzzling from the bottle while still drinking from a glass! Just like those people without drinking problems do. 

And it looks just like a regular wine glass (ahem, extra large wine glass), except there’s a spout instead of a stem at the base. Just stick the spout into the neck of the bottle and chug away!

Sure, it’s not the best for sharing, but we all know that wine bottles are individual servings. 

It’s all yours for $ 22 and available on Amazon.  It would be the perfect holiday gift if we could actually wait until December. 

No more judgment, same amount of wine. Any questions?

Money can buy happiness, people. 

Cheers!

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This Is Why There's A Hole In Your Spaghetti Spoon

I had to stop myself from eating pasta a long time ago. It’s a sad story, actually. Well, no, like, nobody dies in this story or anything, but, it’s still sad. My father was basically a sous chef in Italy where he lived for 9 years – and he learned how to cook amazing, and I mean amazing Italian food. So that meant I grew up in a household that ate all homemade Italian dishes on a regular basis.

Which meant whenever my friends wanted to go out to eat, I was a total Italian food snob. It also meant loads and loads of delicious spaghetti when I was at home with a different, tasty sauce my father would make from scratch each time.

Sadly, I had to stop eating pasta years ago because I have zero self-control, seriously, I can’t even remember the last time I had pasta, must’ve been when I was 18 or so.

So the greater part of my life is still dominated by pasta goodness, but even so, I still had no idea what the hell this hole in a spaghetti spoon is for.

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I always thought it was too much sure water didn’t collect on the bottom of your ladle, because no one wants water mixing with their sauce. Ew.


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But it turns out that the little hole in the middle of that spoon is a measuring tool for one serving of spaghetti.

Did you know, that the hole in your spaghetti spoon holds the recommended portion for one serving size of spaghetti.

Usually I would just toss a bunch in a pot and then delude myself into thinking I won’t eat it all.

It’s a great way to help keep your portions under control, and it’s good to know that utensils aren’t outfitted with dumb styling cues for no darn reason.

Now excuse me while I reminisce on the good old days when I used to eat pasta. But never again, you don’t get abs like Zac Efron eating pasta, homeys.

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