This Kitty Collar Blouse Is The Clothing Item Cat Lovers Will Want Right Meow

Alright, so you love your cat. No, but I mean, you really love your cat. People just don’t understand the lengths to which you’ll go for your furry friend and how you obsess over them and dress them up in outfits and carry them around your shoulder.

It’s borderline obsessive and your cat probably doesn’t care as much about you as you do them, but that’s OK. Your love knows no bounds. You know that it’s much better to give than to receive.

Which is why you want to keep your cat with you everywhere you go. Maybe even drape them around your neck and let them basically live on top of you. Unfortunately, most indoor places of business don’t take too kindly to you bringing animals indoors. Plus, cats aren’t exactly the most walk-friendly pets out there.

However, you’re in luck. There’s a way to keep a cat with you at all times, and the answer lies with this cute blouse.

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The Kitty Collar blouse, sold through Store Envy, will let you be a crazy cat lady wherever you may go.

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With the added bonus of actually wearing something totally cute, instead of a pee-soaked bathrobe.

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The best part is that this simple, catacular design will only cost you $ 19. That’s like, two trips to Starbucks.

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It comes in S, M, L, and XL, and there are detailed measurements on the website, so you should check them out before you buy.

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Because the only thing worse than not having a kitten collar shirt is having one that doesn’t fit you.

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This Grocery Store Trolled A Woman After She Went On A Hilarious Rant About Vegan Cheese

In case you haven’t seen the YouTube videos of their meltdowns, here’s an important fact to remember: vegans don’t eat cheese. So, in order to accommodate a variety of diets, the UK-based supermarket chain Sainsbury’s began carrying a line of coconut milk-based vegan cheese. 

It sounds a little gross, but no big deal, right? WRONG. 

One woman was NOT about to be duped by manipulative marketing techniques calling vegan cheese “cheese,” so she took to the chain’s Facebook page to speak her mind. 

Get ready:

CHEESE.

If you’re going to be a vegan don’t call your vegan cheese BECAUSE IT’S NOT CHEESE!!!!! As a real cheese fan myself it’s really annoyed me that Sainsbury’s have brought out a “Vegan Cheese” made with COCONUTS. CHEESE IS NOT MADE WITH COCONUTS. Call it Gary or something don’t call it Cheese because IT’S NOT CHEESE!!!!!! Just to recap, in case you have forgotten — cheese is a delicious food made mostly from the milk of cows but also other animals including sheep, goats, buffalo, reindeer, camels and yaks. Around 4000 years ago people have started to breed animals and process their milk. That’s when the cheese was born. So Sainburys can F off. Go enjoy your cheese less life. Don’t try to make up a substitute cheese and call it cheese because it’s not and you’ve decided your way of life. It’s ridiculous that they’ve used the word cheese!!! Don’t come to my Cheese and Wine Parties if you’re going to eat COCONUT CHEESE. (If you’re allergic to cheese I feel for you) If you’re a Vegan because you’ve chosen to be and not that you’re allergic I’m not interested in your views about vegan cheese or that ‘eating products from animals is bad.’

TBH, we sort of agree a little because NOTHING RUINS WINE AND CHEESE PARTIES LIKE VEGANS WITH THEIR FAKE COCONUT CHEESE. Cheese which we will now refer to only as “Gary or something.”

Attention all vegans: go enjoy your cheeseless life. You and your substitutes are dead to us. Your beliefs are invalid and no one likes you

Sainsbury’s, our new favorite UK-based supermarket chain, decided to take their dissatisfied customer’s concerns seriously and announced their new line of Gary. 

Quality customer service is not dead. 

Now the whole Gary thing is catching on everywhere… Because vegans, despite being no fun at wine and cheese parties, actually have a sense of humor. 

So, we hope everyone will oblige and accept the name change. Besides, “cheese” was sooo 2015. 

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19 Absurd Headlines That Should Not Have Happened This Week

The truth isn’t always stranger than fiction, but in these cases, it totally is.

1. Man impersonating officer busted for attempting to pull over unmarked cruiser


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God I wish I was there to witness that.

2. Ex-Power Rangers actor Ricardo Medina has pleaded not guilty to murdering his roommate with a sword


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Zordon told him to do it.

3. NBC cancels its mail-order bride sitcom less than 72 hours after announcing it


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Maybe turning human trafficking into a situational comedy wasn’t the best of ideas, the network shortly realized.

4. 102-year-old St. Louis woman checks ‘arrest’ off bucket list


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“Thanks for holding my hand, officer, but, f*ck the police…sorry, had to cross that off the bucket list too.”

5. Egyptian MP demands women undergo virginity tests before being admitted to university


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Actual quote from the guy proposing the bill: “No one should be upset by this decision. If you’re upset then that means you’re scared that your daughter is in an ‘urfi’ marriage behind your back.”

6. This man went insane to prove every Adam Sandler movie is connected


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Like I’d understand if you did this for Scorcese or Tarantino’s films, but freaking Adam Sandler?

7. To get yogurt, kids at daycare had to play ‘smack for a snack’


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Who let a bunch of cafeteria bullies open a daycare?

8. Barrie hospital patients angered by funeral home ads on parking gates


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“You need to pre-emptively meet the needs of the customer, Jim.”

9. United Airlines passenger told to switch seats as Pakistani man ‘did not want to sit next to woman’


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Would’ve been great the passenger he switched seats with said, “Oh, I’m sorry, my religion doesn’t allow me to sit next to Pakistanis.”

10. Concrete truck falls into sinkhole while filling other hole in road


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Of course it did.

11. Condom deserves a place in space says sexuality education association

Come on man, even aliens probably hate condoms.

12. Polk County man arrested for having milk crate


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“I told you boy, this was a lactose free town!”

13. Man Shot 6 Times on Shotwell Street


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“Son, did you not see the sign?”

14. Donald Trump has some Latinos so unnerved, they’re turning to the supernatural for help


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It’s probably what the next paranormal activity movie’s going to be about.

15. Duke Offers Men A ‘Safe Space’ To Contemplate Their ‘Toxic Masculinity’


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I want to go there and act like I’m a huge Britney Spears fan. “I just can’t get enough of that song. I know it’s been years since its debut, but…”

16. Iraq MP: Ancient Sumerians travelled space and discovered Pluto


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Yeah well I drew a picture of me in space eating a donut, doesn’t mean I went to a Krispy Kreme on mars.

17. Minority students wear KKK costumes to school


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“At least this way we won’t get shot.”

18. New Web Series Follows ‘Queer Ghost Hunters’ in Ohio


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Producer: (hits blunt) “I just wanna hear someone with a lisp say “Ghosts” over and over again!”

2nd producer: “You know not all gay people have lisps, right?”

Producer: “Well that’s why we having a casting office, Brian.”

19. Pittsburgh man faces penalty if he can’t catch loud rooster

Record scratch, freeze frame. “You’re probably wondering how I got myself into this mess.”

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This Woman's Younger Brother Had Nothing To Wear For The School Dance, So She Turned To Facebook

Siblings are usually bitter enemies, sworn to roast, bother, and pester each other until the end of time.

However, when stuff gets real, and your brother or sister needs some help, you’ve always got their back.

And this big sister lived up to that role when she found out that her younger brother had nothing to wear to his first big school dance.

Lisa White took to Facebook and asked her friends to help get her brother some fly clothes so he could take his girlfriend out in style.

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Her little bro, Cody Keifer, didn’t really have many clothing options at his disposal, as he never went to a school dance before. Yes, it was his first time. So not only was he most likely nervous, but he was a complete newbie to the whole situation.

White then asked Facebook to provide Cody with clothes to match his girlfriend.

“His girlfriend is wearing a red dress and my brother is in need of a red tie, white shirt and black pants. Depending on prices, I can buy some of it for him. But if anyone has anything he can borrow or possibly have to wear for the night, it would mean the world to him.”

White thought that she would only get “two or three responses.”

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“Within maybe an hour, I had 10 different people offer to take him shopping. I had put my phone down and came back after doing the dishes and I was just amazed at how many people had already offered to help.”

Cody was floored by the community’s response. He initially only asked his sister for a red tie, but then she ended up getting him a whole outfit.


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“I’ve never had that experience before — not just the dance but the help from the community.” Cody said

So Lisa took Cody to meet up with a kind woman who agreed to help out online, and she was a total stranger.

“(Cody) was more worried that is would be embarrassing or awkward and it wasn’t at all. The woman walked in and said ‘Let’s do this!’ She told him, ‘You need to look like a king,’ and ‘That’s what every young man deserves’ and ‘Don’t even look at the price.’ And he got everything: the shirt, the shoes, the tie, right down to his socks.” – White said in an interview with Omaha.com.

Someone else even bought Cody a corsage for him to give to his date, and another family provided a gift card so the young couple could enjoy a nice dinner.

The outpour of support made White extremely emotional, especially because Cody was working hard in school to get his grades back up.

“It was above and beyond anything I ever imagined. I was so glad to see him finally going to a dance and wanting to do that, I wanted to bawl my eyes out. I’m glad he got to experience it, and I got to witness it all. And I’m so grateful to the people who helped him.”

It’s easy to get bogged down in negativity and generally feel like humanity sucks, it’s not like this world doesn’t give you more than enough evidence of that. But you can never discount our common desire to help those in need. It sounds like Cody had an amazing first school dance because of it.

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We Desperately Need This Magical Charger That Makes Your Phone Levitate

Every year, we witness another groundbreaking update in smartphones — and the ridiculous lengths that people will go to to obtain said smartphones. 

While the phone technology itself upgrades year to year, putting the last generation phone to shame, the actual charger technology has made very few leaps. So far, no one’s done much to impress us… Until now. 

We can thank startup AR Designs for OvRcharge, a phone charger that makes your phone float and rotate in space. 

You know, if you’re sick of balancing your phone on a windowsill because it’s as far as the apple charger will reach from the outlet on the wall. So, this new invention gets points for convenience and style. Your phone LEVITATES. 

The wonderfully trippy device looks like something straight from J.K. Rowling’s imagination.  

If Hermione had an iPhone, it would certainly levitate. 

Although she probably wouldn’t need the help of the wireless induction technology that allows the phone to charge while spinning mid-air. 

Unfortunately, you’ll have to ditch your current grimy phone case to get the full OvRcharge experience. Users will need to invest in a special case with an electricity receiver and magnet to go with the charger. 

Oh, and in case it wasn’t enough for your phone levitate, the device also works with tablets. 

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No word yet on when when we might be able to add our laptops to the mix. We can’t wait to ditch those annoying charger cords. 

The magical charger is out of its crowdfunding and development stages, so it won’t be long before your phone will be floating its way to 100% battery. 

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After successful Kickstarter and Indiegogo campaigns raised over $ 60,000 this summer, mass production of the chargers began. 

While they’re only available for order by early adopters, they’ll be on the market for all aspiring wizards soon enough. 

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This Is Worse Than Any Pimple Popping Video You've Ever Seen Before

Welcome. If you’re reading this right now, then you’ve also spent hours upon hours on YouTube looking at everything from cyst and blackhead extractions to human bot fly and tapeworm removals. And you like it. I’m glad that’s the case.

You see, this video is pretty special. I’ve seen plenty of cyst extractions that have emptied out a peanut butter jar’s worth of hard pus and keratin from a person’s back. I’ve also seen people coat their mirrors in a layer of greasy discharge from a neck, jaw, or forehead pimple. It was always pretty neat to watch.

This one however, is a game changer. Suddenly, the violator is in a person’s mouth. He can feel it. He can taste it. Brandon wrote on Reddit that his tongue was in pain for a few days, and after finding the lump and seeing pus/mucus ooze out, he went to the dentist who ultimately told him that his salivary gland had a blockage and a salivary stone was forming.

When it was ripe for the picking, he did us a favor and recorded the removal for us to see. He pushes his tongue to the roof of his mouth and exerts some pressure. This is the result: 

Gross.

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This Mom Wrote A Hilarious List Of 20 Things You Should Know Before 'Pushing Out A Baby'

Having your first baby is an exhilarating experience until you realize that you have to look after the thing for the rest of your life and sleep is but a distant memory. 

Bekki Pope is a mom and blogger who runs the Facebook page and she’s got some experience in the whole baby thing. So for all the novices, she decided to write a list entitled “20 things to know when you’ve just pushed out a baby,” and it’s pretty damn hilarious. 

1. The after pains. Pain. After. Who knew? When God designed women to give birth, he well and truly screwed us over….

2. Your first wee. Take a jug with you and pour it over your bits like you’re trying to be a star in some very disturbing porno. It helps.

3.. Your first poo. Do not panic. You are not having another baby. It just feels that way. But just remember the size of the thing you pushed out of the front bit, and the prospect of pushing out what’s in the back bit won’t be quite so daunting. Your bum is not falling out. Or it might be. If you have piles. Which you probably do…

4. Your baby looks weird. Like… Really weird. ‘Oh how cute/such a beautiful baby’ etc will be said at you and you’ll accept other people’s opinions, but to you it looks like a hairless slightly purple old grandad with dried blood and skin stuck to its wrinkly face.

5. Their downstairs bits are ridiculous. You will worry about the impact they will have on their lives should they stay like that. Boys little nuggets are the size of whole walnut whips, but their willies are the size of the walnuts on the top that nobody wants. Apparently this ‘swelling’ goes down soon. If it doesn’t, expect ‘big bollocks’ to be part of your sons school nickname.

6. Their first poo is not actually poo. It’s tar. The midwives sneak in over night, fill your baby’s nappy with treacle and then test you to see if you know to get rid of it, or to see if you decide to take one look at it and start googling ‘why do nappies come pre-filled with marmite?’

7. Your first shower will be like a scene from Carrie. It’s normal. It may feel like you’ll never be right again and that you’ll walk like John Wayne forever, and you might, but you’ll feel so much better for the shower. You’re literally washing away your sins. (If the baby was born out of wedlock anyway….)

8. Midwives like babies. They will come and pick yours up with no prior warning. They will squeeze their testicles, massage their tummies to make them crap, and fiddle with their face so much you’re sure the baby looks like it’s had botox when they give it back.

9. Your baby hates you. It’s not crying. It’s communicating with its master- the devil- about how successful their plan to destroy you is going. Seriously – it doesn’t actually hate you. It may seem like it never cries when anyone else holds it or that it enjoys keeping you up all night, but really, it is so dependant on you it’s embarrassing. Human babies are embarrassing.

10. You will say the word ‘latch’ more than you have ever said it in your life. And the idea of a tiny person casually sucking on your nipples suddenly becomes a reality. At this moment, you will feel like an actual proper mum.
And a cow.

11. There are people in hospital that can smell your vulnerability. They will take photos of your baby looking cute and then try and charge you a million pounds for it. They will scroll through the 50 photos they’ve taken of your baby in the same position, asking you to choose your favourites. and if you’ve got a partner like mine, that means you will have to re-mortgage your house by the time he’s done…

12. The hospital food is as bad as it is so that people decide they would rather be in pain and at home than eating ‘peaches and custard’. The custard is hot wee with a splash of breast milk mixed in, and the peaches are body parts that have been soaked in sugar over night. And don’t eat the chocolate mousse. Just don’t.

13. It farts. It burps. It hiccups. It makes weird noises in its sleep that make you think you’re going to wake up and see Chucky in the cot- head spinning and laughing. You hope people know it’s the baby and not you. Not that you’d know if you were farting. Your sphincter muscle control is somewhat lacking at the moment.

14. Everyone you’ve ever met will want to come to the hospital to see you. People get overexcited about visiting hospitals. They feel VIP when they walk in to a ward. You are a VIP- a very in-pain person. And you look and feel like death. So only accept visitors if you are up to it. You’re still so high on drugs that making conversation with adults is like trying to sieve flour with a fishing net. Everything just pours out of you and none of the shit is stopped getting through…

15. Your tummy is now resembling a balloon that’s slowly deflating and feeling very sorry for itself. If you press it, you instantly conclude that it would make a fantastic trampoline for Stuart Little. Or that if you sliced it up right now, the hospital kitchen staff would use it and palm it off as nectarine jelly..

16. They want you on contraception straight away. Countless midwives will come and talk to you about how fertile you are and how likely you are to become pregnant again. They do however forget one crucial thing- you’re never having sex again. You never want to see a penis again. And if one comes near you, you’ll most likely destroy it for the sake of women everywhere. The end.

17. Everything’s angry. Your brain is angry, your eyes are angry, your tummy, your bladder, your bum. Your vagina isn’t angry. It’s f@&king livid. Give it a while to calm down but right now, you and she ain’t friends…

18. People ask you if your milk has come in yet, and you half expect somebody dressed in a cravendale costume to waltz through the door and stay with you forever, handing you milk as and when your baby needs it. Not true. What actually happens is that, about 3 days in, your boobs start to leak like they have forgotten they are breasts and now believe they are garden sprinklers. Whose garden you don’t know, but at the rate they start pouring out it must be the Queen’s…

19. They want you to go home ASAP. You are taking up valuable bed space and now you have delivered your stinky human bundle and they’ve checked it over to make sure it isn’t a live Picasso painting, you’re free to leave. Don’t. Not until you’re ready. Get all the help and advice you need before going home. Because once you’re at home, your baby is expecting you to know what you’re doing and you’ll wish you’d stayed longer at the hospital. If to only delay the car seat fiasco a little longer…

20. Stop worrying. You’re not superwoman. There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as perfect. You are your baby’s normal. You are your baby’s perfect. They aren’t judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It’s a piece of ‘oh my god I can’t do this’. You can. And everyday will get easier. Breath mummy.
You just grew and pushed out a mini Mitchell brother. There’s nothing you can’t do.

Except sleep.
You can’t do that anymore.

Pope’s list was pretty relatable, earning 80,000 shares and thousands of comments from other moms. 

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This Town Is Trying To Fight Bullying By Fining Their Parents A Lot Of Money

Kids used to tease me in school for my name. A lot. I didn’t really get into many fights, probably because I was freakishly large for my age, but that didn’t stop the teasing. As a result I did whatever I could to fit in and belong, which has probably messed up my life in more ways than I could ever imagine.

It’s not like I’m blaming bullies for my problems, I think part of growing up is being able to learn to be responsible for one’s emotions. But as a father, I know I’ll be heartbroken if my son turned out to be a mean bully, no matter how unfortunate of a reality they are.

And one city thinks that they’ve found the key to curbing bullying all together, and that’s by incentivizing parents to raise kids who aren’t bullies. And how are they going to do that?

By slapping parents with an initial $ 366 if they’re found guilty of bullying other kids, and $ 681 for the same offense in the same year!

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The city council is Shawano, Wisconsin, ruled on the new anti-bullying law and hope that parents, afraid of being fined, will better teach their kids to not be jerks.

Understandably, the new law is causing some outrage.

Do you think it’s a little too much to expect parents to claim sole responsibility for their children’s behavior? There are many external factors to consider, too.

There are similar fines in school districts already in place throughout the country as well.

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In some districts, if a parent’s kid is constantly missing school, the county fines them once they pass a certain number of absences. The idea is to foster a sense of greater parental involvement in child-rearing, but it seems like a artificially well-intentioned way to just get more money out of everyday citizens, if you ask me. (h/t freestuff)

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You Need To Be A Master Of The English Language To Be Able To Read This Entire Poem

As you may often be told if you know anyone who’s had to learn English as a second tongue, our language is a goddamn mess. So much so that in 1922, Dutch poet Gerard Nolste Trenité wrote a poem entitled The Chaos that contains around 800 of our irregularities, and is almost impossible to complete in one take.

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
   I will teach you in my verse
   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
   Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;
   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
   Just compare heart, hear and heard,
   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it’s written).
   Made has not the sound of bade,
   Saysaid, paypaid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
   But be careful how you speak,
   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;
   Woven, oven, how and low,
   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,
   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, but mining,
   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
   Solar, mica, war and far.

From “desire”: desirableadmirable from “admire”,
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,
   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,
   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.
   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,
   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

This goes on for a lot longer, so if you’ve managed to make it this far, why not give yourself a rest and leave it to a professional? 

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This Is What Happens When You Try To Steal The Hood Ornament Off Of A Rolls Royce

It was pretty common to see cars stripped of their hood ornaments and emblems when I was growing up.  I’m not entirely sure what got the movement started, but it wasn’t uncommon to see them mounted on bicycles and made into chains around town.

Luxury cars were the typical targets, but Honda and Acura badges were also indiscriminately picked up.  It was so bad in some areas that “debadging” a car became a trend, where owners would cut and shave off emblems until the metal was flush with the rest of the car.  

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                             People are paying to have these made now                 etsy

I’ve never seen a Rolls Royce emblem on a chain or bike, and it turns out that there’s a good reason for that

The Spirit of Ecstasy, which is the obnoxious name they came up with for their emblem, is as brilliantly engineered as the rest of the vehicle.

Recognizing the problem of emblem theft over a decade ago, they’ve addressed the issue through a brilliantly overengineered mechanism that retracts the emblem when tampered with.  It can be restored once the car’s owner shows up and pops it back up from the inside.

You can see one of their top salesmen demo the feature below.

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