Dad Has Bathroom Emergency and His 4-Year-Old Becomes His Toilet Cheerleader

When nature calls, all must answer. Even if you’re at a gas station. Even if you’re at a gas station with a child in tow. Even if it’s going to be incredibly embarrassing — it will still be less embarrassing than ruining your pants in aisle four.

Blogger Clint Edwards writes about being a dad and a husband. He’s also now known as a guy who writes about bowel movements, because his hilarious post about getting caught in a difficult situation has gone extremely viral.

Clint posts most of his family trials and tribulations to Facebook; he presented an opened packet of diarrhea medicine as proof of this escapade, and this story that will make you drink a bottle of Imodium before every family outing.

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We stopped at a gas station in nowhere Oregon, two hours into a 12 hour road trip to a family funeral, when the diarrhea struck. My wife and two older kids were in the van, while I was inside looking for cornflakes with my 4yo.

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We b-lined into the restroom, making it just in time. I had no choice but to take my 4yo into the stall with me. Aspen watched as I struggled, Moana light-up crocs on the wrong feet, blue eyes wide and supportive, hands clapping. “Good job, Daddy! Good job! You make two poops! Now three poops! I’m four!”  

“Yucky, Daddy. It’s stinky.”  

I’m not sure what happened exactly, if I’d eaten something wrong, or if it was the stress of traveling with kids, but what I do know is that my 4yo daughter is the Richard Simmons of pooping. I’ve never felt so supported in anything in my whole life. 

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She commented on the size, smell, and sound. “Wow!” She said. She commented on my work ethic. “You’re trying so hard!” At one point I had to actually push her face away from the business end of things as she clapped and cried “You’re doing it, Daddy! You’re doing it!”  

She’s potty trained, sure. But she’s also easily distracted, and prone to potty accidents. I suppose she’s gotten used to the positive reinforcement Mel and I give her each time she goes. And when I’m cheering her on in our family restroom, it seems normal, even appropriate. 

But when the roles are reversed, it’s just, well, awkward. Particularly in a public restroom where the man in the stall next to me was obviously holding back tears of laughter. Laughter that busted loose when she called me a “pooping-farting robot.”  

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Naturally it all passed, and as I buckled Aspen into the car seat, a small package of anti-diarrhea pills held in my mouth, Mel asked what took so long, and I rolled my eyes and mumbled, “You don’t want to know.”  

It was then that Aspen was kind enough to recount the story to her mother, clapping the whole time. I sat in the driver’s seat. Mel patted my leg, “Nice work, Daddy.”  

All I could do was say, “Thank you.”

Well, we now know way more about Edwards than we wanted to know, but it’s still a great story. Who doesn’t love a kid encouraging their parents to be the best they can be?

And it turns out almost every parent everywhere has a public restroom story to share, so get the popcorn if you can stand to eat while reading these:

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All the diaper changing, potty training, and accident clean ups are worth it for the day when your kid is all grown up and able to finally embarrass you while you’re on the toilet.

That’s what being a parent is all about.

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This Woman's Tinder Profile Has People Arguing About Toilet Paper Rules

Dating can be rough. You gotta go through a lot of frogs to find your prince, and a lot of the frogs can be crappy at messaging on Tinder. They’ll send a bad message responding to your bio, your pictures, your musical taste. Any info they can get about you could inspire a stupid comment or rude question. But this is the price we pay for l’amour.

Writer Hana Michels shared her own issues with this system on Twitter, sharing an image of herself she’s had on Tinder. In it, she’s standing in the bathroom, brushing her teeth. In the background, a toilet paper roll is visible. According to Michels, in the past year she’s received 23 messages from men telling her she’s hanging her TP wrong. 

Men, I ask you: why?

She further clarified that she also swipes on women, none of whom have had a thing to say about her toilet paper roll.

The thing is, people have opinions about toilet paper, and her tweet got a lot of responses:

TP can be divisive in the household:

Can a roommate relationship recover after toilet paper has split it asunder? Michels seems open to understanding another point of view, as long as it doesn’t come at her via Tinder.

And her view is not uncommon. Many agree that under is the way, the word, the truth:

There are actually lots of practical reasons for it:

But then came the naysayers, many of whom took umbrage with Michel’s assertion that only men sent her this message.

At least one person has been literally taking on the issue with their own two hands:

But there is actually an answer to this eternal debate. 

The original toilet paper roll was patented in 1891 by New York businessman Seth Wheeler, according to the Huffington Post. According to Wheeler, the paper should go over:

This info was also submitted to the debate:

But the best answer in my opinion is this:

If you’re not paying for and stocking my TP, don’t talk to me about it. Especially before you even buy a girl a drink.

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This Bathroom-Inspired Restaurant Has People Eating From Toilet Bowls

The world is packed with some pretty strange restaurants.

But in the highly competitive world of food service, restaurants are doing everything in their power to stand out.

The fact is, you could probably get a cheeseburger everywhere, but the experience of getting that cheeseburger will ensure whether or not a person decides to return to your establishment. Which may be the reason why the Cheesecake Factory decided to make its interior just so unique.

Or why in the world this PF Chang’s in Edgewater, New Jersey has two gigantic Mongolian Horse Sentinels standing outside, scaring off anyone who parks in the restaurant’s lot just to saunter around the nearby boardwalk, which is something I totally don’t do with my family on a regular basis.

But these restaurants just have notable designs. They’re like the Gordon Gartrell sweaters of the culinary world.

What about other restaurants that are just plain disgusting? What about a restaurant that has you literally eating out of toilet bowls and thinking about gross bodily functions while you slurp down on something with a texture not that dissimilar from feces?

I mean, no one would actually eat there, would they? 

Actually, they would. What you’re looking at up above is a bathroom-inspired restaurant located in Taipei, Taiwan.

At Modern Toilet, customers can expect to chow, slurp, and swallow dishes straight out of toilet bowls.

The walls are decorated with tiles. The restaurant’s hot pot dish is served in a toilet. People drink out of small urinals. The chocolate ice cream they serve as a dessert is colored and swirled to most closely resemble feces and is served in a tiny ceramic bidet.

Twitter wasn’t too thrilled about the prospect of eating out of something you would ordinarily use for bodily functions.

I mean, if a fictional electric mouse creature is telling you the idea is bad, then it’s probably pretty, pretty bad.

For some Twitter users, eating at the restaurant wouldn’t be that much of a stretch.

For others, well, they were just conflicted.

What about you? Would you ever want to slurp on some ramen from a toilet bowl?

It’s worth mentioning that, of course, no one actually used these bowls as toilets before serving the food.

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