A Vegan Discovered That Mayo Has Eggs In It At The Worst Possible Moment

Folks like to mock vegans, probably because a lot of them are pretty preachy about their lifestyle. But I gotta give it up to anyone who is strongly committed to their moral compassing, especially when that compass points them away from delicious, delicious cheese.

It’s not that easy to eat vegan in this world, especially if you want to eat at a fast food franchise or anywhere affordable. So, this story of a woman who faced vegan-defeat at a Subway sandwich shop is both funny and tragic.

A Subway worker named Gabriel Caulfield-Bohlken wrote about their encounter with a confused vegan on Facebook, and Reddit user u/Gresh66 also shared this tale on the Jokes subreddit, though it’s more like a Greek tragedy:

So I work at Subway, yesterday I had a chick come in, she told me she wanted a Veggie Delight. As I went to get the bread she asked me if I could change my gloves cause she was vegan and I had been handling meat. I did that, no problem, perfectly reasonable request. I get her bread, toast it and put all the veggies she wants on it, I start to wrap up her sandwich when she says, “can I get some mayo?”

I look at her, she’s looking at me, I pick up the mayo, I’m waiting for her to be like haha jk.

Nothing.

Me: “You know mayonnaise has eggs in it right?”

THIS. GIRL. JUST. STOOD. THERE. SILENT.

She stood there for a second.

V: “N-no it doesn’t, I get mayo every time, are you sure?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, mayo has egg whites in it.”

I felt so horrible, she stood there with such a distraught and defeated face, I had shattered this poor girl’s world.

I had a couple people waiting so I had to get this lady out of here.

Me: “Would you like the mayo on it ma’am?”

V: “Sure, go ahead.”

She sounded so done, so defeated,

So I gave her her mayo, wrapped her sandwich up and charged her for her sandwich, she was silent the whole time. She took her sandwich and started walking out.

Me: “Thank you for coming, have a nice day!”

She just looked at me, sighed, “yea, I’ll try” and walked out.

And that’s the story of how I taught a vegan that mayonnaise is, in fact, not vegan.

Damn. I feel that. She’s trying so hard to stick to her beliefs, and she thinks she’s found this delicious vegan workaround. Yum! Mayo is so good! And it’s vegan? Wow.

Then BAM, reality check. All those days she went to bed feeling satisfied and successfully vegan, only to find out it was all a lie. That would be shattering. But, for the record, they do make a vegan mayonnaise, and it’s actually pretty good:

It just doesn’t seem like they have it at Subway.

Commenters are very into this story, but what’s funny about it is that it seems like a lot of people have no freaking clue what’s in mayonnaise:

People don’t know anything about anything, actually:

I’m actually scared for humanity:

But at least a few people appreciated the server’s honesty. Obviously, this girl had gone through a lot of Subway workers who were not so kind:

Or maybe they just had no idea what’s in mayo either? Seems to be a common problem.

Other vegans also weighed in to say they understood the woman’s reaction completely.

Hopefully she rallied and Googled “vegan mayonnaise” for those homemade sammies. We all deserve a little flavor.

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People Are Sharing Their Worst Summer Vacation Fails And Some Are Plain Horrifying

People Are Sharing Their Worst Summer Vacation Fails And Some Are Plain Horrifying

When you’re a kid, summer is everything. School’s out. The weather’s warm. All you want to do is get up as early as possible and spend all day outside sweating up a storm, chilling by the pool, and eating all sorts of sugary, iced treats.

When you’re an adult, summer is slightly less “fun” because you don’t have your folks taking care of everything for you. You have to plan the summer vacation while still going to work and staying on top of your kids to make sure they’re not destroying the house while you’re away.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun, which is why you planned for a family getaway out of town so you can enjoy a new city, some new sites, new food and hopefully new and happy experiences.

image

Like all good things in life, however, your summer vacation will ultimately be tested. Things will come and try to ruin your fun and it’s up to you to react to them accordingly and do whatever is possible to make sure that you and your family and friends end up having an amazing time.

Even if you manage to get a see-through bathroom.

Or if you get arrested for accidentally sleeping in a room that doesn’t belong to you.

Because we’re constantly thinking about what to do next and are juggling so many different requests in our heads simultaneously during a vacation, it’s easy to let a few things go unnoticed.

Flying can get a big expensive, so packing into a huge old station wagon that’s prone to overheating is an American family tradition.

This next story is why you should always bring a spare…of anything that’s vital.

And maybe check your surroundings before you relieve yourself.

One wisecrack could definitely ruin the whole family trip, so choose your words wisely.

Just another reason why I hate camping.

This woman’s thread is another compelling argument against camping.

Make sure you always secure your camper.

Maybe don’t mistake Disney characters as pinatas.

If you’re afraid of flying or can’t afford a fancy trip to Europe, just go there on a stick.

Nothing like a broken face to ruin a perfectly nice vacation.

Trash bags are not a good substitute for luggage.

Hurtling down sand dunes is never fun.

Old school camera problems.

Contrary to what you thought as a little kid, scary things were happening outside the closet, not inside.

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22 Of The Worst 'Bad Teacher' Stories These Adults Still Remember

When you’re a kid, adults seem to have total control over your lives wherever you go. If you’re lucky, you have parents you love and can stand being around. But in school, you never know what you’re gonna get and it changes from period to period. Maybe a teacher will change your life for the better or maybe they’ll be nothing but an extremely hostile babysitter to 30 rambunctious middle schoolers.

If you had a bad run-in with a lousy teacher, it might haunt you forever, even when you’re a grown adult who has moved on to better things. For some reason, an authority figure saying or doing something mean sticks with you. This was proven true when Twitter user and Cartoon Network employee Marie Lum asked her followers if they had any anecdotes about things their teachers had done long ago that still bothered them today.

But first she shared hers:

Gasp! Horrible, but not surprising. Lots of other people had their own very specific, very annoying encounters with bad teachers, who did everything from tie them to the desk to insist they were spelling their own names wrong:

Any of these stories remind you of someone mean holding a ruler??

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People Are Sharing Their Worst Landlord Stories And They're Truly Horrific

Speaking of home loans: you’re probably gonna need a hefty one if you don’t have some help from your parents or make a crap ton of money. Home prices are at some of the highest they’ve ever been, and that doesn’t even factor in the ever-increasing property taxes, ie money you continually pay just to have the privilege of owning your home. So even if you own it you don’t really own it.

Then there are all the headaches of owning a home, maintaining a property, footing the bill for all repairs, insurance, higher heating and energy costs, it can all seem not worth the headache. So renting seems like an alluring option. That is, until you get a crappy landlord. And boy, there are plenty of those, as evidenced in this Twitter thread.

Some of these stories might get you house-hunting ASAP.

If you’ve ever had problems with your apartment: heating, hot water, you know how annoying it can be to contact a landlord to get it fixed. But this guy’s building owner’s “ingenuity” takes the cake.

While others were just plain criminal.

This is just wrong on so many levels.

This guy sounds like a real boogey man.

This nickel and dime scumbaggery.

If square footage was mentioned in a signed lease, then this guy could’ve sued for all the rent he paid.

But sometimes, landlord experiences pan out just fine.

On Reddit, there are plenty of awful renting stories, too.

There was the old die-and-switch.

And showing off the place while people were still living in it. Classy.

So if there’s anything you can take away from this post: know your tenant’s rights and always, always get signed copies of the lease with clear language. Just because you get a nightmare landlord doesn’t mean you have to settle for it.

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The 26 Worst Ways To Start A Conversation

Conversations are hard. I’m an awkward person so I’m an expert. Thing is, though, I know that about myself so I avoid starting conversations when I can. 

Not everyone has that level of self awareness though. There are some people out there who insist on talking to people even though they aren’t any good at it. You have to admire them for that.

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Trump Complains About ‘Worst Fake News’ As He Returns To Washington From Vacation

President Donald Trump recently returned from a two week summer vacation at Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. But by the looks of his Twitter feed, the time off hasn’t helped the President relax much. On Sunday, President  Trump took to Twitter to slam the mainstream media, which he calls “fake news” for being the “most dishonest Fake News reporting [he has] ever seen.”

The tweet most likely refers to the white nationalist rally in Charlottesville the previous week, and the controversy that has surrounded it. President Trump was initially slow to reply to the violent clashes between white nationalists and counter protesters, which generated much criticism.

Politicians like Senator Ted Cruz took to Twitter to condemn the “hatred and racism” of groups like “the Nazis, the KKK, and white supremacists.” Trump’s own daughter, Ivanka Trump, said on Twitter that there is “no place in society for racism, white supremacy and neo-nazis.” 

But Trump initially responded by saying that “many sides” were to blame for the violence. A White House statement later called out specific groups like the KKK. Only for Trump to later take to Twitter and seemingly call for Confederate statues to be left in place. 

And then this weekend, President Trump again took to Twitter to condemn 40,000 counter protesters who took to the streets of Boston on Saturday to protest a “free speech” rally featuring far-right speakers, which had attracted around 100 participants.

The same day, President Trump took to Twitter once again to praise the counter protesters. 

President Trump’s back and forth on the issue earned him praise from the likes of former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke on Twitter. 

While his comment on “fake news” seems to have indicated to journalists that they’re doing their jobs well. 

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These Two Cities Have The Worst Drivers In America

These Two Cities Have The Worst Drivers In America

The only thing I dislike about driving is other drivers.

I know it’s a wildly arrogant and condescending thing to say. Of course I think I’m the only good driver on the road and that everyone else is an idiot because my commuting needs come before everyone else, right?

But for the most part I obey the rules of the road. I use my turn signals, I let drivers pass me, I stop for pedestrians and stop signs and don’t speed through residential areas like some kind of madman.

I’m not perfect. I swerve erratically to dodge pot holes and I’ve definitely held up traffic trying to make a right turn when I’ve been stuck in the left on more than one occasion. But I swear I’m trying to get better. There are some people, however, who are irredeemably bad drivers.

And as it turns out, there are two cities in America with a higher concentration of crappy drivers than any other in the country.

According to EverQuote, Pittsburgh is one of two cities that can proudly boast the worst drivers in America.

The study employed the EverRide monitoring app, which defined “good” or “bad” driving across five categories: phone use, speeding, acceleration, braking, and turning. After 11 months of data gathering and monitoring the behavior of 150,000 drivers, Pittsburgh came out on the bottom.

A combination of excessive speeding and cell phone use is what sealed the deal for citizens in the Steelers Nation, but they’re not alone when it comes to crappy motorists.

New York City shares that distinction as well. If you’ve ever had the misfortune of driving in Manhattan, then you’ll know that the data in the study is entirely accurate.

The best drivers in the nation? Minneapolis and St. Paul, St. Louis, and Portland, Oregon took the top spots.

On average, drivers received a “79” out of “100” when it came to perfect driving habits nationwide.

View post on imgur.com

You can check out the infographic in all of its driving-nerd detail here.

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23 Women Share The Worst Things A Guy Did On Their First Date

Going on a first date is one of the most nerve-wrecking experiences imaginable. But imagine for a second that when you get to the restaurant, you quickly realize that the other person is completely insane. The women of Reddit recently decided to share the worst stuff they’ve had to put with guys…

1.

My wife told me this one yesterday, about her older sister on a first date when she was a teen.

The guy asked her to show up wearing red, anything red. She wore a red skirt with red nails. He drove her to a well known make out spot and tried to convince her to dance beside the car while he played “Lady In Red” from the tape deck. As I understand, she wasn’t impressed.

featherygoose

2. 

If you’re going to ask a girl about her hobbies, don’t spend the next couple of minutes shitting on her hobbies. The one-up game isn’t nice.

Was on a date just last week actually

“Whats your favorite thing to make?”

“I’ve been told I make a really good medium rare steak”

“Medium rare? So all you do is control the temperature? That’s not impressive.”

“…Do you like to cook?”

“No. I don’t see the need to cook. I can just go to a restaurant and buy food. Haha. Why try to make a steak when you can go to a restaurant and get a good one?”

I think with that comment he was trying to show off that he had money to always go out to eat? I have no idea. But jokes on him, what I like to do on later dates is invite the guy over for a home cooked meal. It’s a subtle way of getting a guy over to my place. But that wasn’t going to happen with this one.

pinksugar

3. 

Ask to wear matching outfits. I wish I was kidding.

thewildbunny

4. 

“He initiates a dinner date. Dinner date ends up being with his extended family. Since he drove us, I get stuck back at his mom’s home with extended family while he disappeared somewhere. I’m not even socially comfortable around my own extended family.”

uncappedlynx

5. 

One time, a guy asked me out and showed up in those toe shoes.

Didn’t realize it was at the top of my “no no” list until it happened.

probablyeatingtacos

6. 

Take you to his grandmother’s house and ask her for money to pay for the date…

heyychiaki

7. 

Don’t flirt with the waiter. And the girl sitting next to us. And my roommate…

wesrdctfvygbhunjimko

8.

Wear too much cologne. Be on your phone. Talk about your ex. I had a man who brought her up and said I reminded him of her. Ive also had men just talk about how much they hated their exes it’s just awkward.

ohhsuzyq

9.  

Trying to fingerblast me at dinner

LAX2PDX2LAX

10. 

Take me to your place. A guy did it once, no warning after we went out to eat. I had to ask where we were driving when I assumed he was talking me back to my car and he drove in the other direction.

magicmusi8

11. 

Don’t take your date to olive garden, slurp your soup up really really fast, use your finger to get the remaining traces out of the bowl and lick your fingers, and then request two more soup refills in a row so i have to endure this torture again and again

soofyahn

12.

Ask, “Are you a natural blonde?” then shift your eyes to my crotch. Shudders

GIfuckingJane

13.

I once went on a first date where I got into the guys car and he started drifting through the busy streets in an urban area and refused to stop to let me out of the car. He didn’t wear shoes and brought me to Carl’s Jr. for dinner (which I paid for). As we were driving by an “adult entertainment” store on our way back to my car he asked if I wanted to stop in and go shopping.

AwkwardGeisha

14.

Point out hickies that another girl gave you 3 days prior. Text the hickey girl to tell her you’re on a date with me, then tell me about texting her.

recalcitrantdonut

15. 

Riding around on/bragging about the brand of your hoverboard. Also, don’t stick your tongue in a girl’s ear ten seconds after kissing her for the first time.

ginganinja14

16.

Do not say you’re in love with her on the first date.

It comes off as creepy more so than sweet.

Mirellemagic

17. 

Don’t speculate what color hair and eyes the kids will have.

Seriously–I hadn’t been through one meal with the fellow and he already thinks I’ll bear his children? Yikes!

doublestitch

18. 

Call me “woman”.

Did you already forget my name? Is it a weird power thing? I don’t get it.

mariecurious

19. 

Ask whether the girl had waxed or shaved her private parts. Then, upon hearing no, tell her you have a razor in your backpack.

I noped out of that one right quick.

Pajamaralways

20.

Don’t try to ‘neg’ me and think I won’t notice.

Don’t try any of those art of seduction techniques, for that matter. The only guys who would look them up tend to be the ones who are too socially awkward to execute them without it being freaking obvious. It just comes across as dishonest.

J4viator

21.

Grab a solid handful of your ass cheek as if it were the most appropriate greeting to give your date.

Lemonsweetie

22. 

Late to the party, but still. Don’t bring your 5yo child and tell him “she’s your new mommy “. Nope nope nope.

BasilNuts

23.

Wear skin-tight leggings covered in cats flying through the cosmos.

That was a weird night.

arac62

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25 People Talk About Their Worst Date

I had a friend who was a stereotypical neckbeard. He owned a fedora and lived in his parent’s basement. He shared his weed and video game time with me, so that was always pretty cool.

Anyhow, about five-ish years ago, when we were still friends, he tells me about this date he had with this girl. He says he isn’t sure that it ended well or not. I says, tell me what happened.

First, he says that he took her on an “all day date”. Dude, rule number one of getting to know someone, don’t take them out for an all day date. One, if not both of you will get tired. People need time apart to rest and process their thoughts.

He was a hardcore brony. He bought My Little Pony figures and re-painted them. So he thought he would be clever and gift her two or three throughout the day. He gave her the first one while they were at the zoo, if I recall correctly.

Then he tells me that he gave her another one while they were at a movie. He thought he was being clever, or cute, and stuck it partially buried into their shared popcorn. While telling me this part of his story, he seemed frustrated at her, because he thought that she was being daft for eating around the figurine.

I was like, nah dude, it was an awkward time and a weird way to continue to give someone your creepy custom painted My Little Pony figurines.

Then he says at the end of the day, she drops him off (yeah), and he smiles and waves. He says that she had to make some kind of turn and come back around. He said that he smiled and waved at her as she drove past the second time, but he said that she was just looking straight ahead and ignored him.

I didn’t really feel bad for the guy. He is a huge, huge internet troll and an asshole. He didn’t take criticism, and refused to take my input on how a grown man wearing a fedora handing out custom painted My Little Pony figurines is not what a grown woman is looking for in a relationship.

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Girl Confesses The Worst Present She Bought Someone For Christmas And Twitter Chimed In

I was recently talking with a friend who was really struggling to come up with a great gift idea to get for his mother this Christmas. My friend and I all tossed out ideas, but they didn’t seem to hit the mark for my pal, as he really wanted it to be special.

It’s tough finding the perfect gift for someone who means alot to you. But sometimes if you get a present for someone you’re only supposed to care about, you find yourself in really hot water.

Because you’re carelessness, thoughtlessness, or just sheer lack of preparation or whatever usually leads to some pretty crappy gifts.

Like this girl who asked Twitter what the worst Christmas gift they ever got for someone was.

Admirably, she kicked it off.

Then other people began sharing their own shamelessly crappy gifts.

Some were literally crappy, too.

Others meant well…

Hard to top some of these.

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